Verboticism: Computard

'Honey? Honey! Can you hear me?'

DEFINITION: n., A slow computer with insufficient memory; also, a slow-thinking husband. v., To take an extraordinarily long time to respond to a relatively simple request.

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Cronstipated

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: kron-sti-pay-tid

Sentence: I guess I added too many bells and whistles to my computer, as it became quite cronstipated upon booting up.

Etymology: cron - A Unix command for scheduling jobs to be executed sometime in the future; constipated

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-07: 12:07:00

great sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:13:00

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Microsloth

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: micro + sloth

Sentence: Debby discovered, upon letting her new fella move in, that he was quite the microsloth, internot savvy, a full-fledged reclinaut.

Etymology: microsloth - microsoft, sloth blended, internot- antonym for internet, reclinaut - reclined blended with astronaut, a man that could not be considered The Right Stuff, but knows when a couch (or turkey) has the right stuffing.

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COMMENTS:

good one! - wordmeister, 2008-01-07: 22:12:00

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Isloth

Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: eye-sloth

Sentence: My husband and computer are iSloths. They're just so slow.

Etymology: iPod + sloth (as in slow and or lazy)

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Eonator

Created by: HollisWoods

Pronunciation: ee-uhn, ee-on eyt or

Sentence: Francesca is a researcher for various clients in Wash, D.C. Most of the research required needs to be done online and is usually accompanied by,"I need this yesterday!" There is a power failure in her office, so she is going to have to work from home. Now she is in a near panic because her home office doesn't have the sophisticated equipment she has at the downtown office. Francesca's hubby promised he would either upgrade or replace most of her equipment as a gift to her. This is a promise and process long overdue. Now she is in a bind and is concerned she won't meet her clients' deadlines. She is tired and frustrated by her eonator of a husband and her eonator of a computer. She will have to rely on her collegue, Susan, to help her. At least she finds some relief in the knowledge that she will have Susan's assistance and access to state-of-the-art equipment to meet the deadlines due. While traveling to Susan's office, Francesca couldn't help but wonder if her husband was home eonating on how and when to start her office upgrade.

Etymology: eon: an indefinitely long period of time ate: cause or make

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Islack

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: i-slak

Sentence: I don;t know who's the bigger i-slack: my slow virus riddled computer or my lazy husband who sits in front of it all day looking at naughty sites.

Etymology: i-mac: popular computer brand + slack

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Decelermate

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: de sel er mayt

Sentence: Allegra had never quite gotten used to the fact that her hubby, Dell, could decelermate any discussion or activity. He appeared to act and think and speak in slow motion and with age, this lethargy became more noticeable. When she asked him about replacing her very slow old computer, he was actually slower than the computer in responding. It is little wonder why he was dropped off at the recycling centre with all the other useless equipment.

Etymology: Decelerate (lose velocity; move more slowly) & Mate (spouse, partner in marriage/relationship)

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Slothram

womblin3

Created by: womblin3

Pronunciation: slowth-ram

Sentence: Her computer chugged along as though it ran on steam, much like her husband. She wondered how she'd come to allow two slothrams into her life such as these. Perhaps she was due an upgrade - on both counts.

Etymology: Slothram: sloth n. unwillingness to work or make any effort or n. slow mammal + ram n. adult male mammal and RAM (random access memory) n. a type of computer memory which can be searched in any order and changed as necessary

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COMMENTS:

good word! - Nosila, 2010-04-04: 01:26:00

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Datasaurus

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /dah-tuh-SAWR-uhs/

Sentence: Sarah complained to Jerry, again, that their computer was such a datasaurus, she could take a shower, do her hair and make-up, prepare breakfast, eat, and do the dishes, all before the 'darn thing' was finished booting up. Apparently, he was still plodcessing over that information, after several months of her complaints.

Etymology: data - information (Latin, plural of 'datum') + -saurus - suffix used in the names of extinct reptiles; e.g. brontosaurus (Greek, saƻros "lizard")

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Spousalpause

Created by: bosstown

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Linda stopped asking "Does this dress look alright"? after developing an intolerance for spousalpause.

Etymology:

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Historaeon

Created by: bananabender

Pronunciation: his - tor - EE - on

Sentence: By the time my historaeon computer processes a simple data entry the results have already become ancient history.

Etymology: historian - a writer or compiler of history, + aeon - an age, an infinitely long period

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