Verboticism: Ticcompoop

'Don't tell me your trying to sneak out early?'

DEFINITION: n. A type of frustration created by a manager who never notices when you work late, but always nags you for leaving early whenever you leave on time. v. To carefully monitor your subordinates to ensure that they never leave work a minute early.

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Whorology

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: whore/ol'/uh/gee

Sentence: Daphne felt that Phillip, the new manager in the Department of Silly Clocks (afternoon watch), was a bit... alarming. She frequently heard him tocking to himself outside her office door. His imprecise movements infuriated her: only yesterday he had slopped quartz and quartz of water all over her timesheet and she'd had to redo it! Lately he'd taken to fobbing his unfinished work off on her just when things should have been winding down for the day. Quite often she had to wrist-le with the urge to clock Phillip upside the head. So far she'd proven resistant, but who knew how long that would last. Sometimes she fantasized about setting her hands around his windpipe... The man never seemed to notice all the nights she stayed back, but if she left work before 6pm, he would spring forward and reprimand her. She simply had to face facts: time had changed him from a horologist to a whorologist.

Etymology: whore + horology (the art or science of making timepieces or of measuring time)

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COMMENTS:

Face it, it's crystal clear that's my kind of story...Philip obviously has not had a good movement for some time, which is bound to wind him up and make him cuckoo! You'd be ticked, too. Oh well, even a broken clock is right twice a day...Cheers - Nosila, 2008-04-23: 01:28:00

dialightful! - galwaywegian, 2008-04-23: 06:10:00

Can the hands of a clock ever clap? great sentence - ticked all the boxes - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 09:01:00

Don't forget the "Ho" in horology! Luv the sentence - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:54:00

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Ticcompoop

Created by: jrogan

Pronunciation: tik-com-poop

Sentence: My boss is a real ticcompoop. He even has a ticcompooter to calculate how may seconds we spend in the washroom.

Etymology: tick + nimcompoop

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Clockjock

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: klok jok

Sentence: Hal was a clockjock. He eyed his staff like a hungry lion at a zebra watering hole. If they tried to sneak away early, he'd confront them to the point, they'd never do it again. One day, young Mindy raced to the door to escape and was caught by Hal. "Where do you think you are going?" he charged. "My water broke and I need to get to hospital." she cried. "Nice try", he countered. "You've been here long enough to know that all deliveries are made at the rear of the building, after 6:00 p.m.".

Etymology: Clock (a timepiece that shows the time of day) & Jock (a person trained to compete)

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COMMENTS:

karenanne "...deliveries are made at the rear of the building, after 6:00 p.m." - HA - priceless - karenanne, 2010-06-29: 19:43:00

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Slackervise

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: slak'-ər-vīz'

Sentence: Fred's secretary Ethel had arrived seventy-seven seconds past her forty-minute allotted lunch period, so Fred made sure to slackervise even more diligently than usual to insure she made up the time at actual work before leaving for the evening; at her claimed typing speed of 110 wpm, that should work out to an extra 141.16667 words for the day.

Etymology: 'slacker,' less taut; 'vise,' device for holding objects firmly in place.

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COMMENTS:

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:50:00

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Bossitch

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: bos-itch

Sentence: Mr. Needler Nosey was such a bositch to his employees and only noticed what he presumed was bad behavior.

Etymology: Boss- A person in charge of the company employees. *itch- Slang for a person who complains about everything.

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Drachronian

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: drey-KROH-nee-uhn

Sentence: "Time is money" yelled Bob so often at his long-suffering staff, that all were finally diagnosed as suffering from drachronian's syndrome, and placed indefinitely on tick leave.

Etymology: Blend of DRACO of draconian fame: Athenian lawgiver who mandated death as punishment for even minor crimes. Fig: severe, inflexible, ruthless. CHRONO, Gk meaning time, as in chronology. DRACULA: ogre, terror, bugbear. IA: suffix meaning disease, state, condition.

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 08:56:00

Perfect! - ErWenn, 2008-04-23: 09:49:00

I like the 'chrono' inflection...great word. - Mustang, 2008-04-23: 21:57:00

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Chronintimidate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: krawn-in-TIM-eh-dayt

Sentence: The new office manager moved his desk to the area next to the door and hung a huge clock on the wall just above his head and anytime anyone appeared to be on the way out early he would chronintimidate them by pointing to the clock and shaking his head.

Etymology: Blend of chronometer (clock) and intimidate.

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Obeywatch

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o bay weatch

Sentence: Mr.Smedley fancied himself a dedicated disciple of the obeywatch old school of management. He decided that those employees who had the misfortune to report to him were not to be trusted with important things like personal time management. Far too often they let their personal lives get in the way of being at work. Imagine calling in sick and failing to come in just because you broke a leg or had minor surgery, like an appendicitis. Where was the loyalty these days? So what if there were days they worked for 12 hours straight and other days when the work flow slowed down? He still expected them to be there 9 to 5, without exception. He positioned his desk near the time clocks, so no one could sneak out past him. He recorded all these indiscretions in a black book. Needless to say, morale was at an all time low and fuses were getting shorter at such treatment. One of these days, someone would go postal and punch out his time clock permanently!

Etymology: obey (be obedient to) & watch (a purposeful surveillance to guard or observe;a small portable timepiece;a person employed to watch for something to happen) & Baywatch(you know,that show, where Hoff says, "Hey we gotta save that guy!" and Pamela goes boing, boing, boing running down the beach after him carrying that red thing...)

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COMMENTS:

petaj That's hard to beat - petaj, 2008-04-23: 02:50:00

I guess the "mean" in 'GMT' meant everything to him! Very clever. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 06:25:00

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Tickoff

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: tick - off

Sentence: We turn a blind eye to staff showing up early to work but we are rigorous about tickoff procedures and plan to appoint a manager to ensure that all staff are ticked off in an efficient and pleasant manner.

Etymology: tick (of the clock) off (as in off home, sign off, off the clock) ticked off (pissed off) tick off (cross off the list as each subordinate leaves the office)

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Tocktickrelationship

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tok tik ree lay shun ship

Sentence: The interaction, which had always borne the hallmarks of a tocktickrelationship ended badly. The subsequent surgical attempts to reverse the offense which led to its demise proved unsuccessful, leading to extreme embarassment every time her now ex-boss had to travel abroad. He would regularly be stopped and stripsearched at airports and advised by security staff that it was the first time they had found somebody trying to smuggle a twenty dollar watch out of the country using that particular technique.

Etymology: tock tick, toxic relationship

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the crocodile in Peter Pan but then that would be a croctocktickrelationship - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 08:59:00

But this is just pretend so it is a mocktocktickrelationship, but if it was in the clinic, it would be a doctocktickrelationship or in a gym, a jocktocktickrelationship or in a hosiery store, a socktocktickrelationship...it's endless possibilities! - Nosila, 2008-04-23: 20:34:00

...or between sports acne physicians, a pockmarkjockdoctocktickrelationship - stache, 2008-04-23: 21:57:00

What have I begun? - galwaywegian, 2008-04-24: 04:40:00

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