Verboticism: Felonelevate

'I thought you'd want a head on a platter'

DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.

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Felonelevate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt

Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Winston and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.

Etymology: Blend of 'felon' (person convicted of a felony) and 'elevate' (raise).

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Higohoamercement

RightOnTheWin

Created by: RightOnTheWin

Pronunciation: (Hig-o-ho\mər-smənt);Hig-hi-ho\a-merce-ment

Sentence: John was sentenced to pay a fine of fifteen thousand dollars for speeding; however the judge ruled this higōhōamercement as unconstitutional.

Etymology: Orgin:Higōhō(Japanese romaji), adjectival noun. Illegal; Unlawful. Amercement, noun. To punish by a fine whose amount is fixed by the court.

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Funishment

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fənishmənt

Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.

Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)

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COMMENTS:

was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00

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Missedemeanour

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mist de meen er

Sentence: Judge M. Paired often assigned bizarre sentences that were not suited to the crime or precedent. In fact his missedemeanour way of paying back criminals allowed the worst to escape justice and the most innocent to face the music. Sadly, many of his peers do the same every day...

Etymology: Missed (got wrong; not caught with the senses or the mind) & Misdemeanour (a crime less serious than a felony)

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Punytivedamages

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es

Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.

Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages

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COMMENTS:

It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00

Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00

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Payadox

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: pay a dox

Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!

Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)

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COMMENTS:

so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00

Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00

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Ojsimpsoned

Created by: whazat29

Pronunciation: o.j. simpsoned

Sentence: o my gosh, I was so o.j. simpsoned for dating becky's mom.

Etymology: o.j. simpson

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Convictimization

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon vik tim ize ashun

Sentence: It was pre-ordained. His name was Rob and by gosh, that is what he did for a living. He also wrote very bad checks. When he was caught and sentenced to 25 years in the pokey, he thought he had fallen prey to convictimization. He was incarcerated at Sing Sing, where contrary to the name, they did not sing, often or well. Warden Gordon Borden thought it would be ironic if Rob wrote the new Prison Newsletter, since he was so good at writing (bad checks). Rob called this literary marvel, "Sentences" and worked hard at it to make it informative and entertaining. He carried regular features, such as a column on advice to the lovelorn..."In-Mates" with such pertinent features as "Are you suffering from Penal Dysfunction?";The Daily Horrorscope ("Your life has settled into predictable routine but just wait, the new screw in Cell Block 4 has his eye on you. Prepare for excitement."); a singles column "Cell-ABC" and recipes from the prison kitchen, "The Garden of Pleadin'" ...for Chili CON carney...take 500 pounds of ground meat, throw in 18 cups of saltpeter,...etc. He also added news items that affected his readership: "Care and feeding of your pet Cockroach"; and he used the digital camera to get candid snaps of daily life column, "I've been framed". Rob became a publishing ty-con and made the most of his pun-nishment!

Etymology: Convict (a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison; a person who has been convicted of a criminal offence; find or declare guilty) & Victimization (adversity resulting from being made a victim; an act that exploits or victimizes someone (treats them unfairly))

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COMMENTS:

written with conviction!! - galwaywegian, 2009-03-06: 05:56:00

Top Notch Job creating this 'con' job and 'con' verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:15:00

So funny!!! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:30:00

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Indecentencing

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: in-dee-sen-ten-sing

Sentence: Graham was ecstatic. Due to the judge's indecentencing, he was practically getting away with murder.

Etymology: from indecent ( improper - not suitable or right or appropriate; "slightly improper to dine alone with a married man"; "improper medication"; "improper attire for the golf course") AND sentencing (The act of pronouncing a judicial sentence on a defendant)

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Misdemeanie

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: miss-de-mean-ee

Sentence: Parker copped a misdemeanie for parking his car in a no standing zone for 5 minutes. His punishment was to stand in the said zone for 3 days with no sleep in the pouring rain.

Etymology: misdemeanour (minor infringement) + meanie (a brute or bully)

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COMMENTS:

very clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 15:01:00

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