Verboticism: Parleyfool

'Hey, do you work here?'

DEFINITION: v. To ask someone who is clearly in a store uniform, perhaps on a ladder creating a display or running a cash register "Do you work here?" n. A person who doesn't know how to ask for assistance in a retail store without asking a stupid question.

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Customoron

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmôrän

Sentence: ”It must be National Idiot Day” Debbie said to herself as one customoron after another took up the challenge of asking the stupidest question. ”Do you work here?” was beat out by ”Is this stuff (on the clearance table) on sale? She can’t wait to see what they come up with today.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + moron (a stupid person)

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Assking

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: ass king

Sentence: On his shoulder, the huge brassy button said in big letters: assistant manager. Therefore, everyone was asstounded and asstonished to hear Stu Pid, assking, "Do you work here?"

Etymology: ASS, KING, ASKING. Asking redumbdant (redundant) questions makes one an assking. ASS - offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence. KING - the greatest and most powerful leader of a people who are united by a common tie, in this case, by their level of intelligence. ASKING - to question.

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! And very good! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:18:00

Well there's an Ass----,Klutz---- and a Moron---- for today...we're all in the same mood :) Good one there! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:36:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

I know Stu....worked with him....tried to avoid him...couldnt. - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:32:00

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Customyeranidiot

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Jackask

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: jack-ass-k

Sentence: Jill wandered around K-mart looking for help with door hinges. Eventually she went to the service desk to ask a question. The assistant called over the speaker system "Hardware to the service desk, Hardware to the service desk". When the hardware expert appeared at the service desk, Jill made a total jackask of herself saying "do you work here?"

Etymology: jackass (fool) + ask + K (as in kmart)

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl laughing out loud...great word - mrskellyscl, 2009-03-27: 08:58:00

super word - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

Hilarious! THanks for such great word! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:14:00

Easy to remember, meaning apparent, great blending, clever pun, ... Superb Won! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:32:00

petaj thanks all - petaj, 2009-03-30: 06:40:00

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Interrograte

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: in TER ro GRATE

Sentence: As Emma would pose her redundant and asinine questions to wait-staff, store-clerks, and other service industry employees, it became clear she was posing in more ways than one. She would interrograte these poor unsuspecting workers with her snobvious questions to show her tiny bit of power over them. Then she would quickly send them off to answer to her whims. One day we sat at a restaurant table where there was a buzzer to bring the waiters. She had them come about ten times. “Is this water in this jug? Are these organic lemons? Is the coffee fresh? Freshly ground? What is that song playing on the radio right now? Does your boss also own the franchise across town?” She just wouldn’t stop.

Etymology: INTERROGATE: GRATE: to get on someones nerve; irritate

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COMMENTS:

like it kate - galwaywegian, 2009-03-27: 10:45:00

It's a grate word! - Nosila, 2009-03-27: 13:10:00

Great blending! Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:30:00

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Duhblivious

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-BLIV-yuss

Sentence: Vernon was so bad about overlooking the obvious and asking lame questions his friends had labeled his lame practice as duhblivious and even that was something that got by him.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used to express annoyance at banality, obviousness, or stupidity) and 'oblivious' (unmindful; unconscious; unaware)

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Cusdumber

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kuhs-duh-mer

Sentence: If there is anything that a store clerk hates, it has to be the cusdumber who can't seem to do anything without asking a stupid question or making an ignorant statement. "Do you work here?" "This item is scratched (they just scratched it). Can I get a discount?" The only hope is if they get just a little dumber, they might forget to breath or how to get to to the store.

Etymology: customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another) + dumb (lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted)

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Cusdumber

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kus dum mer

Sentence: If you have ever worked in retail or other service jobs, you know who they are. Sure, not the nice 95% of Customers who actually pay your wage, happily, but the 5% who are the Cusdumber...the ones that usually don't end up spending, just making your life harder. They cannot read signs (like "Final Sale, No refunds"; "One per Customer" or "Do not Open Packages"). They ask foolish questions, "This is the only one in my size, will it still be here next week?" or "Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" or "It's 9:00 pm, does that bell ringing mean you are closing? But I just got here!" Sometimes they are rude and say hurtful things like,"Don't you know how to operate a till?" or "When I ask for a sparkly rainbow thingy with bright lights on it, you should know what I mean...did you flunk your training class?" After one of these frustrating encounters, I console myself with the fact that I am not that person and try to not be a cusdumber myself when it is my turn to be a consumer!

Etymology: Customer (someone who pays for goods or services)& Cuss (swear at)& Dumber (slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity)

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COMMENTS:

Awesome job! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:16:00

"Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" LOL!!!! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:19:00

great word!! - mweinmann, 2009-03-27: 14:45:00

Did she wish the cusdumber went right on buyher? Super marketing word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:07:00

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Excusemebutt

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: ex-kuse-mee-but

Sentence: Karla was still stinging about losing her job at the securities firm when she started her shift at the discount store. Not only did she have to give up her salary and benefits, but instead of having a latte with the girls in mailing she was stuck with spending her days trying to communicate with the idiot teenagers who worked there. On top of everything else she was ready to take a swing at the next excusemebutt that came up to her to see if she was an employee when she was obviously wearing a disgusting brown shirt with a moronic pink and orange logo on it. They would look directly at her name tag and say, "Excuse me, but, do you work here?" She wanted to scream,"Do you really think someone would intentionally go out of the house in this shirt?"

Etymology: Excuse: pardon, forgive; Butt: (slang) buttocks

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:12:00

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Staffinvection

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: staff in vek shun

Sentence: When George the patient asked the man in the hospital with the white scrubs; the stethoscope, mask and chart whether he worked there as he took George's vitals, he got himself a case of staffinvection.

Etymology: Staff (employee) & Invection (. An expression which inveighs or rails against a person) & Wordplay on Staph Infection (A spherical gram-positive parasitic bacterium of the genus Staphylococcus, usually occurring in grapelike clusters and causing boils, septicemia, and other infections).

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