Verboticism: Asstressment

'Please keep your tongue to the left!'

DEFINITION: n. The feelings of apprehension which occur when undergoing a medical examination. v. To feel discomfort while a medical professional pokes and prods at the weak points of your body.

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Probaphobia

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pro ba fo beeya

Sentence: Denny's fear of doctors and dentists was so extreme, it was actually a bad case of probaphobia. Many thought it went back to that fateful night when aliens beamed him up for some scientific rect-reation.

Etymology: Probe (to be poked or proddedexamine physically with or as if with a probe) & Phobia (irrational fear, anxiety over something)

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Hippocalyptic

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hip pok a lip tik

Sentence: It was with a hippocalyptic feeling that Henry went to the only doctor in town. Being a newcomer, Henry was unaware that most locals did not see old Doc Sawyer Bones. They went to the City Hospital instead. Henry's pain and discomfort at going to a new doctor was only overshadowed by the extreme abdominal pains which had attacked him for the past few hours. It was only when he was counting backwards from 100 that he spied the certificate on the wall...Doctor of Veterinarian Medicine. He just hoped that he'd not wake up and find himself neutered!

Etymology: Hippocratic (an oath taken by physicians to observe medical ethics deriving from Hippocrates...first do no harm!) & Apocalypic (prophetic of devastation or ultimate doom;dread)

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Physicruel

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: fizz ick! crew ull

Sentence: "Let me check you over" Dr. Max M. Rough said. He measured and pressured, prodded and poked, nudged and budged, thrust and dug, then jabbed and stabbed, finally shooting my body with concotions of innoculations and vaccinations ... all those hurtful 'tions' ... I wished I could shun! During the mammogram, I wish I could slam a gram, or two, of his most tender flesh between those smashing, mashing plates! When he was done, I asked him "Why does a good going over have to feel so bad? Why is a physical so physicruel?"

Etymology: PHYSICAL, CRUEL. Physical - medical examination. Cruel - painful, harsh, hard, nasty and unpleasant.

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COMMENTS:

Good one...too bad they don't have manograms for guys like hium! - Nosila, 2009-04-16: 21:07:00

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Asstressment

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: a-stress-ment

Sentence: I need some tranquillisers to get over the asstressment, but I really don't want to go through another asstressment just to get a script.

Etymology: assessment + stress

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Medicangst

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: med-ick-ang-st

Sentence: Her medicangst heightened when she witnessed out of the corner of her eye, her dental surgeon taking a long haul of an inhale of laughing gas just prior to her wisdom teeth extraction.

Etymology: medical + angst

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Dentribulation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dentribyəlāshən

Sentence: The dental office that Michael goes to has all the modern amenities to deal with any dental issue he might come in with. What they have trouble dealing with is his dentribulations. He will sit in the lobby furtively looking over ages-old magazines dreading THAT moment - when the nurse sticks her head through the door and calls his name. Michael's inner adult tells him to relax and trust that he will be taken care of. His inner child is kicking, screaming, scratching and biting. The staff hates it when his inner child gets out. Michael has also found that feigning deafness or amnesia doesn't work very well.

Etymology: dental (of or relating to the teeth) + tribulation (a cause of great trouble or suffering)

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COMMENTS:

Great word! - Mustang, 2009-04-16: 23:48:00

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Toothordare

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tooth or der

Sentence: Each time Wendell went to see his family dentist, Dr. Payne, he felt like he was playing toothordare. Just because Dr.Payne was in his eighties, was cross-eyed and had shaky hands, somehow Wendell felt weak and vulnerable. Dr.Payne also had a sense of humor and never failed to mention that he had a lot of pull or was trying not to look down in the mouth. His family had gone to Dr. Payne for years, and all just because Wendell's Granny had dated him. The old gal had always called Dr. Payne, brace yourself, The Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Play on Truth or Dare (a game where you must tell the truth or suffer the consequences)

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COMMENTS:

Guess which song will play in my head all day? Another super sentence with a fabulous last line. Tooth to tell, your verbotomy shines like a polished tooth! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-16: 12:46:00

Hilarious! "Dr. Payne" -! - splendiction, 2009-04-16: 21:26:00

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Medicreep

Created by: EpicButCrazy

Pronunciation: med-ick-reap

Sentence: This dentist really medicreeps me out. I'd swear he deliberately drags out his poking in your mouth, just for the sick pleasure of it!

Etymology: medical + creep

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Dentrified

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: den-tri-fied

Sentence: (no offense to Gloria Gaynor) At first I was afraid, I was dentrified. Kept thinking I could never live if I should open wide. But then I spent so many nights thinkin' how my gums went wrong and I grew strong, and I learned how to go along. And so I'm back, my teeth to brace, You just walked in and have no chin with that thing on your face. I should have changed my worried mind, I should have made you rinse your mouth if I'd have known for just one second you'd be drilling north and south. Oh no, not I, I'm dentrified. As long as I can rinse and spit, I know that I'll revive. I've got all my teeth to fill, I'll just take this little pill and I'll survive, I will survive -- hey, hey!

Etymology: dentistry: care of the teeth + terrified: extreme fright

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COMMENTS:

:-) Very nice parody and poetry! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-16: 12:40:00

LOVE it very creative! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-04-16: 20:07:00

Excellent, mrsk...love that song, you know the one I will hear in my head for the next few days! But I will survive... - Nosila, 2009-04-16: 21:12:00

Very creative. I know the feeling. - Mustang, 2009-04-16: 23:49:00

This is hysterical....love it! - mweinmann, 2009-04-17: 09:08:00

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Paprehension

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: paprihenshən

Sentence: Joyce is very good about keeping up on all her preventive medical procedures but admits to paprehension.

Etymology: pap test (a test to detect cancer of the cervix or uterus) + apprehension (anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen)

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