Verboticism: Mistech

'Computer programmers do not make mistakes.'

DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.

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Softwarrior

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /sawft-WOR-ee-er/

Sentence: Bert, the department's IT Specialist, was a fanatical softwarrior, who would attack any of the mere users who dared to question the quality of their software. He fancied himself a sort of cyber-paladin, defender of the virtuous programmers who constructed such intricate code. Of course, Bert was sure that he could have joined their ranks, and that the brotherhood of programmers would welcome him with open arms, but he believed that his calling was here, at the front lines, keeping the unappreciative and discontented mobs of peasants... er, users, at bay.

Etymology: Software - the programs used to direct the operation of a computer (back-formation from the word 'hardware' as applied to computer equipment) + Warrior - one who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict (from Old North French, werreieur "one who wages war")

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Techsuppose

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose

Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.

Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely

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COMMENTS:

So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00

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Mistech

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mis tek

Sentence: Lech, our mistech, mistook a mistake that Missy would make. He would make her shake and quake, about her mistake, even when his take of her mistake was a flake. He could wreck the heck on her neck, if he we didn't keep our mistech in check.

Etymology: Mistake (error) & Tech (a technician who is highly proficient and enthusiastic about some technical field (especially computing)

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Culpabiligeek

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek

Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.

Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)

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COMMENTS:

My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00

Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00

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Geekbugger

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: geek - bug - grrr

Sentence: Milton employed his own type of debugging....Instead of spending the arduous hours analyzing, tweaking and rerunning code to locate the errors in his software program; he tried to talk the users into living with it. He even acted as if they were somehow not using it correctly or just being troublesome. The users felt like Milton was the worst geekbugger they had ever met.

Etymology: debug (locate and correct errors in a computer program code), geek (An expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers),bug (annoy, irritate; also a fault) bugger (a general-purpose expletive, used to imply dissatisfaction, or used to describe someone or something whose behaviour is in some way displeasing)

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Geekjerk

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: geek-jerk - with contempt in the intonation

Sentence: That geekjerk needs to get some user experience training and some empathy before he starts work on his next program. Next time he comes near me he might be on the end of a knee jerk reaction.

Etymology: geek (member of the IT crowd) + jerk (someone who behaves badly)

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COMMENTS:

petaj OOps a day late with this one. - petaj, 2008-05-15: 03:46:00

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Technoway

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tek-no-way

Sentence: The office staff all called Hubert the tech 'technoway' for the way he tried to dismiss just about every service call by saying 'no way is this a computer error, it's operator error'.

Etymology: blend of technician and the phrase 'no way'

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COMMENTS:

artr Nice combo! - artr, 2009-06-26: 10:58:00

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Logidiot

Created by: GMoan

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Dikoder

Kallystie

Created by: Kallystie

Pronunciation: dik-oder

Sentence: Richard was berating Sally for crashing his flawless program. She insisted that it was not user-error, and that there had to be an issue with the code. He continued to be petulant, and finally Sally said, "Hey, stop being such a dikoder Richard!"

Etymology: Possibly a combination of British army slang for "male appendage" circa 1891 and the latin "codex", or book of laws.

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Gargygoo

Created by: Robertache

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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