Verboticism: Phlegmbuoyance
DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.
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Phlegmbuoyancy
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: flem boy ansee
Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!
Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)
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COMMENTS:
Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00
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Phlegoon
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: flegoōn
Sentence: Friends wanted to help Jason but were held back by the phlegoon of tissues that had developed on the floor around his sickbed. Jason’s best bud thinks sea of discarded tissues is a bit crazy. He calls it one flu over the cuckoo mess.
Etymology: phlegm (the thick viscous substance secreted by the mucous membranes)+ lagoon (a stretch of salt water separated from the sea by a low sandbank or coral reef)
Phlegmbankment
Created by: twocent
Pronunciation: flem-bank-mint
Sentence: Judging from the phlegmbankment surrounding the couch, it was a safe bet that Nigel was out of commission for the day.
Etymology: Phlegmbankment -n. Compound of phlegm + embankment.
Mucousfication
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: mew/cus/fi/cay/shun
Sentence: By the time they found him, mucousfication was already complete. The mess of mucousy tissues had crept up the side of his bed and bound him head to toe. They named him Snotuncommon.
Etymology: mucous + mummification
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COMMENTS:
Love Snotuncommon... reminds me of that Tom Jones song, It's Snot Unusual. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:27:00
Snot the end of the world, he could be a victim on CSI!! - Nosila, 2008-03-10: 19:30:00
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Phlegmflam
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: flem flam
Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!
Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)
Snortification
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /SNAWRT-tuh-fi-key-shun/
Sentence: After hacking, sneezing and snorting his way through four boxes of Kleenex over the last day and a half, Harry looked around to find himself surrounded by a snortification of used tissues. 'Typhoid Harry' was going to have to look for a weakness in the structure and find a way to break through the wall of Unkleenex rather quickly — another wave of nausea was coming on and he suspected he'd need a clear path to run to the toilet again.
Etymology: Snort - to breathe noisily and forcefully through the nostrils (from Middle English, snorten; probably related to "snore") + Fortification - defensive structure built around a stronghold (from Latin, fortis "strong")
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COMMENTS:
Perhaps he used the snortification to keep well wishers and do-gooders from cnstantly bothering him! - arrrteest, 2008-03-10: 22:01:00
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Phleghoard
Created by: pilar1347
Pronunciation: FLEG-ord
Sentence: n: John is so sick the phelghoard on his night-stand is taller than the lamp! v: I know Mary has a cold, but she's been phelghoarding all over our shared workspace.
Etymology: A combination of phelgm and hoard.
Tissooze
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: tish/oze
Sentence: Winter! Oh damn winter!! Take me now with your freezing minus 27 celcius, sore throat, aching ears, massive sinus ache, chills!!! Warmth, where is the warmth?!!!! I give up!!!!! Heating pad, neck warmer, not even four blankets help!!!!!! Running nose, rolls of toilet paper resulting in a massive mountain of tissooze surrounding me, burying me, suffocating me, killing me!!!!!!! Take me now wretched winter!!!!!!!! I succumb to you bastard winter!!!!!!!!!
Etymology: TISSOOZE - noun - from TISSUE + OOZE
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COMMENTS:
Sentence, like the nose, drips with your suffering! Clever Creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 10:51:00
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Kleenexsport
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kleen ex sport
Sentence: Lying in his sickbed, watching the Olympic Sports Channel all day, Ernie knew that he could win a gold medal for his country in the pathogen pentathlon: his nose runs, his eyes soar, his lip curls, his fever pitches and his body heats. He could do a slalom down the mountain of kleenexsport by the side of his bed. He would have to do a viral spiral to get to the bathroom before he had to luge again. Yes, his biohazard biathalon would end if he could only get some schuss time. His ailing body was truly an international competition: He put the "Germ" in Germany; the "chill" in Chile;the "I Ran" in Iran; the "Catarrh" in Qatar;and he had been feeling "Laos-y" all day!
Etymology: kleenex (a piece of soft absorbent paper usually two or more thin layers used as a disposable handkerchief) & export ( to transfer goods or to cause to spread) & sport (an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition)
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COMMENTS:
His Doctor gave him vitamin C and said get it India. He also put the malaise in Malaysia and the 'ails' in Wales. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 10:03:00
great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:27:00
Great read and word! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:03:00
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Phlegmzard
Created by: kashman
Pronunciation: Flem-zard
Sentence: Fighting with cold left George so numb that he became indifferent to the phlegmzard created in the living room of his shared apartment; this apparent "coldness" resulted in exodus of his roomate to less hazardous environment.
Etymology: Phlegm (viscid mucus secreted while suffering from cold) + Hazard (source of danger).