Verboticism: Clockstalk

'Don't tell me your trying to sneak out early?'

DEFINITION: n. A type of frustration created by a manager who never notices when you work late, but always nags you for leaving early whenever you leave on time. v. To carefully monitor your subordinates to ensure that they never leave work a minute early.

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Streptoclockus

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: streptəkläkəs

Sentence: As a new manager Tom has a bad case of streptoclockus. He watches every minute of his new subordinates workdays as if each second was being pulled from his soul.

Etymology: streptococcus (a bacterium of a genus that includes the agents of souring of milk and dental decay, and hemolytic pathogens causing various infections such as scarlet fever and pneumonia) + clock (a mechanical or electrical device for measuring time)

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Tocktickrelationship

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tok tik ree lay shun ship

Sentence: The interaction, which had always borne the hallmarks of a tocktickrelationship ended badly. The subsequent surgical attempts to reverse the offense which led to its demise proved unsuccessful, leading to extreme embarassment every time her now ex-boss had to travel abroad. He would regularly be stopped and stripsearched at airports and advised by security staff that it was the first time they had found somebody trying to smuggle a twenty dollar watch out of the country using that particular technique.

Etymology: tock tick, toxic relationship

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the crocodile in Peter Pan but then that would be a croctocktickrelationship - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 08:59:00

But this is just pretend so it is a mocktocktickrelationship, but if it was in the clinic, it would be a doctocktickrelationship or in a gym, a jocktocktickrelationship or in a hosiery store, a socktocktickrelationship...it's endless possibilities! - Nosila, 2008-04-23: 20:34:00

...or between sports acne physicians, a pockmarkjockdoctocktickrelationship - stache, 2008-04-23: 21:57:00

What have I begun? - galwaywegian, 2008-04-24: 04:40:00

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Stimie

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: STY mee

Sentence: Early on in his new job, Ernest made the mistake of working late every day to catch up and to prove himself, thinking that would place him in the boss's good favor. Instead, it means that the boss, who himself doesn't usually hit the office until 10 am, has now forgotten Ernest's actual contract hours and assumes he will always be there until 7 pm. So now when Ernest decides to leave on time (5 pm) to actually spend time with his family, he is stimied at every turn by the boss's obvious disapproval. The boss likes to do such things as staring pointedly at his watch, sighing loudly and saying, "I guess I'll have to stay and finish things by myself tonight since there won't be anyone here to help," and making comments about how "people who are team players will the ones to keep their jobs when cuts are made." The funny thing is, Ernest has actually begun to feel guilty and acts apologetic as he is leaving (on time).

Etymology: time + stymie (to frustrate, hinder, or thwart)

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COMMENTS:

Truer words never spoken... - Nosila, 2010-06-29: 19:25:00

karenanne My first thought was "clocksucker" but then I figured I had already put in my share of vulgarity a couple of months ago with "dicktionary," "motherducker," and "bitchnessperson." - karenanne, 2010-06-29: 19:40:00

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Theagonyoftheexitsee

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: the/agony/and/the/exit/see

Sentence: Every Friday the staff suffered from theagonyandtheexitsee as they tried to creep past Hal the monitor.

Etymology: the agony and the ecstasy + exit + see

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl Clever word compilation! - mrskellyscl, 2009-06-16: 16:53:00

Love it! - Nosila, 2009-06-17: 01:36:00

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Chronologre

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kruh-nol-oh-ger

Sentence: Cindy's boss can be a real chronologre when he wants to be. He acts like you are stealing from him personally if you clock out even a minute early. Maybe if he had the skill or drive to do something really useful life would be different.

Etymology: chronology (the arrangement of dates, events, etc, in order of occurrence) + ogre (a monstrously ugly, cruel, or barbarous person)

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Obeywatch

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o bay weatch

Sentence: Mr.Smedley fancied himself a dedicated disciple of the obeywatch old school of management. He decided that those employees who had the misfortune to report to him were not to be trusted with important things like personal time management. Far too often they let their personal lives get in the way of being at work. Imagine calling in sick and failing to come in just because you broke a leg or had minor surgery, like an appendicitis. Where was the loyalty these days? So what if there were days they worked for 12 hours straight and other days when the work flow slowed down? He still expected them to be there 9 to 5, without exception. He positioned his desk near the time clocks, so no one could sneak out past him. He recorded all these indiscretions in a black book. Needless to say, morale was at an all time low and fuses were getting shorter at such treatment. One of these days, someone would go postal and punch out his time clock permanently!

Etymology: obey (be obedient to) & watch (a purposeful surveillance to guard or observe;a small portable timepiece;a person employed to watch for something to happen) & Baywatch(you know,that show, where Hoff says, "Hey we gotta save that guy!" and Pamela goes boing, boing, boing running down the beach after him carrying that red thing...)

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COMMENTS:

petaj That's hard to beat - petaj, 2008-04-23: 02:50:00

I guess the "mean" in 'GMT' meant everything to him! Very clever. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 06:25:00

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Timebeing

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tīmbēing

Sentence: Tom works for the timebeing. That timebeing is his boss. It doesn't seem to matter how much he gets done or that he arrives early and skips lunch, closing time is closing time. Tom and his boss do a mental minute waltz as 5 o'clock approaches. The fact that the boss's office is aligned with the hallway Tom uses for his escape makes him seem something like a troll guarding a bridge.

Etymology: time (the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future) + being (a real or imaginary living creature)

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COMMENTS:

very cerebral - bookowl, 2009-06-16: 16:46:00

mrskellyscl creepy - mrskellyscl, 2009-06-16: 16:55:00

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Gotchawatcher

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Got-char-wat-chur

Sentence: Bob knew that he wouldn't be able to leave work early, as the gotchawatcher had his eye on him.

Etymology: Got you + watcher = Gotchawatcher

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 09:03:00

like it! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:48:00

I used to work for that guy too. - Mustang, 2008-04-23: 21:56:00

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Bostard

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: bos tard

Sentence: He was a real bostard and would sit by the door watching the clock just in case some one tried to sneak out before 5:00pm

Etymology: boss + tard

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Clockadoodledue

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: klok a doo dell doo

Sentence: Cylla Stration thought it would be a fun job drawing for a comic book company. Until she met her boss, Mr.Art Work. His policy was that no artist left for the day unless they completed a whole comic book. So he sat by the only exit, by the time clock and monitored his staff. No one left until they could clockadoodledue.

Etymology: Clock (time measurement piece) & Doodle (scribble a drawing on paper) & Due (something owed)

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2009-06-16: 13:11:00

Cute! - Mustang, 2009-06-17: 00:47:00

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