Verboticism: Custoculpate
DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.
Voted For: Custoculpate
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Culpabiligeek
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek
Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.
Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)
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COMMENTS:
My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00
Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00
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Mistech
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: mis tek
Sentence: Lech, our mistech, mistook a mistake that Missy would make. He would make her shake and quake, about her mistake, even when his take of her mistake was a flake. He could wreck the heck on her neck, if he we didn't keep our mistech in check.
Etymology: Mistake (error) & Tech (a technician who is highly proficient and enthusiastic about some technical field (especially computing)
Geekbugger
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: geek - bug - grrr
Sentence: Milton employed his own type of debugging....Instead of spending the arduous hours analyzing, tweaking and rerunning code to locate the errors in his software program; he tried to talk the users into living with it. He even acted as if they were somehow not using it correctly or just being troublesome. The users felt like Milton was the worst geekbugger they had ever met.
Etymology: debug (locate and correct errors in a computer program code), geek (An expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers),bug (annoy, irritate; also a fault) bugger (a general-purpose expletive, used to imply dissatisfaction, or used to describe someone or something whose behaviour is in some way displeasing)
Geekjerk
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: geek-jerk - with contempt in the intonation
Sentence: That geekjerk needs to get some user experience training and some empathy before he starts work on his next program. Next time he comes near me he might be on the end of a knee jerk reaction.
Etymology: geek (member of the IT crowd) + jerk (someone who behaves badly)
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COMMENTS:
OOps a day late with this one. - petaj, 2008-05-15: 03:46:00
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Dissinformation
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən
Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.
Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)
Softwarrior
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /sawft-WOR-ee-er/
Sentence: Bert, the department's IT Specialist, was a fanatical softwarrior, who would attack any of the mere users who dared to question the quality of their software. He fancied himself a sort of cyber-paladin, defender of the virtuous programmers who constructed such intricate code. Of course, Bert was sure that he could have joined their ranks, and that the brotherhood of programmers would welcome him with open arms, but he believed that his calling was here, at the front lines, keeping the unappreciative and discontented mobs of peasants... er, users, at bay.
Etymology: Software - the programs used to direct the operation of a computer (back-formation from the word 'hardware' as applied to computer equipment) + Warrior - one who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict (from Old North French, werreieur "one who wages war")
Buggle
Created by: jrogan
Pronunciation: bug-gull
Sentence: Jonathan was a real buggle and depended on user feedback to make sure all his software worked as expected... Whatever they said he'd feed it back to them as user errors.
Etymology: bug + gle
Progrimist
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: pro-grim-ist
Sentence: Victor the Progrimist was scheduled to do his rounds on the floor at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. The employees all held a meeting to discuss what problems they had beforehand so they would be prepared for his sarcastic and abusive ways and attitude. They even took a poll to see who's problem would probably attract the most ire and ridicule from him. Every once in a while they would concoct a fake IT problem just to see him react if there was not many issues to discuss.
Etymology: Program + grim +ist
Softwarespecialass
Created by: splendiction
Pronunciation: soft ware spesh ial ass
Sentence: Hank's new income tax software’s many glitches prompted him to call technical support. However, the softwarespecialass maintained his program was flawless. He suggested Hank give the software another try while completing another random task, such as juggling oranges or counting sheep.
Etymology: From software specialist and ass.