Voted For: Retarditure

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz

Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.

Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: KLOD-uh-suhl

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the clodicil on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." And he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages.

Etymology: Blend of CLOD: a dolt, blockhead & CODICIL: a short writing containing an explanation .. for a blockhead.

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Created by: gemmgemms

Pronunciation: id-ee-aht-la-soot-pree-caht

Sentence: No one wants to be slapped with an easily prevented lawsuit. Use an idiotlawsuitprecaut on your product.

Etymology: idiot+lawsuit+precaution

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Created by: Abraxised

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous

Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.

Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stoop if loo us

Sentence: LuLu thought it ironic that when she bought a simple item like a comb for her hair, it came with lengthy instructions. Unwrap plastic around comb, place on top if head and pull through hair to detangle and smooth it. It was too bad that these stupifluous instructions did not come with furniture that needed assembly. Either the only clue to assembly was a simple diagram without enough detail or something written in Swedish. And don't get her started about those instructions that were very badly translated into English...they would have been clearer in their original lingo!

Etymology: Stupid (without much intelligence) & Superflous (more than is needed, desired, or required;extra;unnecessary)

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COMMENTS:

and it\'s fun to say. - artr, 2010-04-05: 12:08:00

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad vice

Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?

Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)

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Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: No-sho

Sentence: These hair dryer instructions are common sense, a real knowshow.

Etymology: To show someone what they should already know. Also a play on no show, cause anyone that needs a knowshow has no show common sense.

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Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: Re dun struc tion

Sentence: Although it seems pointless to warn about obviously self evident dangers, redunstructions are very necessary as the companies don't want their products to be associated with the death of idiots (despite the advantage of eugenics in the Darwinian sense).

Etymology: Redundant (unnecessary) & instruction (imparted knowledge)

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