Verboticism: Funishment

'I thought you'd want a head on a platter'

DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.

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Funishment

Created by: Ratty

Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment

Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.

Etymology: fun, punishment

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Justdesserts

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: JUST de ZURTZ

Sentence: Charles explained his deranged, pie in the sky plan to rob a bank to his brother Simon. Always jealous of Charles, Simon hoped the plan would fail and Charles would get his just deserts. If Charles was in jail for his bungled attempt to pull off this heist, Simon could take his place in the family bakery business and win some attention from his mother, who clearly favoured Charles of the two. Simon called the police and revealed Charles’s plan. Charles would be using the family bakery truck so that anyone seeing the van there would think he was just delivering pies, and he would be on his way out of town at 2 pm in the van, with the money. Simon hoped to assist in bungling the plan but forgot his basic mathematics, that two negatives make a positive. When Charles stopped off at the family bakery to say goodbye to his mother, after robbing the bank, he accidentally left in the wrong van. He took Simon’s van. Simon got HIS just deserts as he ended up in jail. In Charles’s vans were…just desserts. Charles felt he got justdesserts-plenty of sweet deals-after Simon went to jail: a raise and a promotion; Simon’s girlfriend; and the icing on the cake...a constant reminder from Mom that he was the “good son”.

Etymology: DESSERTS: sweet food served at the end of a meal JUST DESERTS: (the combination of the rarely used definition of the word DESERT: that which one deserves and JUST: for justice) to mean that which is considered to be deserved or merited; a just punishment or reward; poetic justice

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COMMENTS:

Intriguing word ... more please! Waited all day for the pronunciation, sentence, and etymology! But I understand you might have been called away and are superbusy. Will check back again tomorrow! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:40:00

Thanks for your devotion. This one is as silly as ever. :) (Yes I was very busy. These always come out at a bad time of day for me.) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-07: 01:14:00

love your story & word, kate! You'd think 2 guys in a bakery would make enough dough without robbing banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:32:00

It was worth waiting for! Admire the great and humorous twists on 'justdesserts' - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:24:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:55:00

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Payadox

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: pay a dox

Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!

Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)

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COMMENTS:

so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00

Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00

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Inmaterial

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: in - mate - tear - e - all

Sentence: After Barney jaywalked near the general store, Andy meted out a sentence that was inmaterial to the crime. He threw Barney in the slammer for three days....Barney got to see what it was like being an inmate, except that Aunt Bea brought him supper every evening.

Etymology: Inmate + Imaterial >> Inmate (convict: a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison) Imaterial (extraneous: not pertinent to the matter under consideration)

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COMMENTS:

love the Mayberry reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:39:00

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Fauxtence

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: foe-tense

Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Fakkier, your fauxtence requires that you have a staff of thirty people to make sure you abide by the rules of the court, to maintain a lifestyle of luxury...via our tax payers.

Etymology: Faux - Not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article. Tense; taken in part from the word Sentence - Court judgment, especially a judicial decision of the punishment to be inflicted on one adjudged guilty.

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Indecentencing

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: in-dee-sen-ten-sing

Sentence: Graham was ecstatic. Due to the judge's indecentencing, he was practically getting away with murder.

Etymology: from indecent ( improper - not suitable or right or appropriate; "slightly improper to dine alone with a married man"; "improper medication"; "improper attire for the golf course") AND sentencing (The act of pronouncing a judicial sentence on a defendant)

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Perverdict

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt

Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.

Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest

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Nonsentence

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: nohn sen tensss

Sentence: the judge told the pervert that he would have to wash miss jones' underwear for a year. complete and utter nonsentence

Etymology: sentence, nonsense

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Aproposterous

Created by: Filthy

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: Aproposterous is a combination of the words apropos and preposterous. The term has largely replaced it's cousin, moronic justice, since it better captures both the disproportional and inappropriate natures of a crime's consequence.

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Misdemeanie

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: miss-de-mean-ee

Sentence: Parker copped a misdemeanie for parking his car in a no standing zone for 5 minutes. His punishment was to stand in the said zone for 3 days with no sleep in the pouring rain.

Etymology: misdemeanour (minor infringement) + meanie (a brute or bully)

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COMMENTS:

very clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 15:01:00

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