Verboticism: Computerpogrommer

'Computer programmers do not make mistakes.'

DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.

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Theebugger

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dee buh gur

Sentence: Verily I say unto thee, if yon bugger of a theebugger shouldst approach thee, flee with the greatest urgency, lest he bug thee further.

Etymology: debug, bugger, thee

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COMMENTS:

your sentences always make me laugh - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 14:07:00

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Technillogicrat

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tech - nil - LODJ - uh - crat

Sentence: Having an overblown ego and chutzpah to match, Cranston was a technillogicrat in the extreme who would never admit ignorance but would always blame everyone and everything else for things he could not remedy.

Etymology: Blend of technical and illogic with suffix -crat...member of a dominant class

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COMMENTS:

great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 14:05:00

There's a theme here, apparently we have all worked with these types... - Nosila, 2008-05-15: 01:53:00

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Gargygoo

Created by: Robertache

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Criticompados

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Krit-ee-komp-a-doss

Sentence: The criticompados was insistent that the blame lay with me, but I was sure I was not in the wrong, and he knew it!! He tried the same trick on my colleague only last week.

Etymology: Criti(Critisize,blame) comp(computer) dos(Disk operating system)

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Notit

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nätit

Sentence: Whenever a computer problem is exposed Wendel sings out "Notit" much like a kid at the start of a game of tag. Of course when he said "it", he meant IT. Though he has never actually created a single usable document, spreadsheet or database, he just knows that any problem that pops up is the fault of the peons that work for his company. If only he could keep these knuckleheads from monkeying with his network... He would express his disdain in an e-mail if he could spell it.

Etymology: not (used with an auxiliary verb or “be” to form the negative) + it (pronoun [third person singular]) IT (Information Technology)

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Culpabiligeek

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek

Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.

Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)

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COMMENTS:

My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00

Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00

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Geekjerk

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: geek-jerk - with contempt in the intonation

Sentence: That geekjerk needs to get some user experience training and some empathy before he starts work on his next program. Next time he comes near me he might be on the end of a knee jerk reaction.

Etymology: geek (member of the IT crowd) + jerk (someone who behaves badly)

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COMMENTS:

petaj OOps a day late with this one. - petaj, 2008-05-15: 03:46:00

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Softwarespecialass

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: soft ware spesh ial ass

Sentence: Hank's new income tax software’s many glitches prompted him to call technical support. However, the softwarespecialass maintained his program was flawless. He suggested Hank give the software another try while completing another random task, such as juggling oranges or counting sheep.

Etymology: From software specialist and ass.

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Techsuppose

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose

Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.

Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely

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COMMENTS:

So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00

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Pogrommer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: poe grom mer

Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.

Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)

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