Verboticism: Menuseless
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Voted For: Menuseless
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Autohated
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: aw-tuh-heyt-ed
Sentence: After receiving hundreds of complaints about uneven treatment by customer-service reps - helpful and cordial one day, rude and uncaring the next - company executives decided that the only way to be fair and treat the entire public the same was to install an autohated voice mail system that would frustrate and hang up on everyone equally. They seem happy that the call volume has dropped dramatically.
Etymology: automated (to operate or control with a minimum of human interaction)+ hated (the object of extreme aversion or hostility)
Agendizzement
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: a/jen/deez/mant
Sentence: The agendizzement was so convoluted and confusing that he soon developed a case of mennui and gave up ordering pizza.
Etymology: agenda + dizzy + aggrandizement (cause to appear greater than is the case)
Helpwhine
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: helpwīn
Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.
Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)
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COMMENTS:
Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00
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Phongravator
Created by: dessessopsid
Pronunciation:
Sentence:
Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating
Discontention
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: dis - con - ten - shun
Sentence: There was a tremendous amount of discontention as Lyle continued to scream and pound the phone on the table; even after the automaton had disconnected the call. Lyle was convinced that the automated voice had become angry and annoyed with his yelling and "hung" up on him....which made him even more riled up. He wondered how he could ever get revenge on the digitalmoron. It was indeed the winter of his digital discontent and disconnect...
Etymology: disconnection (Unexpected termination of a telephone connection) --> discontent (dissatisfaction,longing for something better than the present situation) --> tension (a balance between and interplay of opposing elements or tendencies,a state of mental or emotional strain)--> contention (controvery,a contentious speech act, In packet mode communication networks, contention is a condition that arises when two or more data stations attempt to transmit at the same time over a shared channel):)
Automaddening
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning
Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.
Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.
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COMMENTS:
Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00
Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00
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Limboloop
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: lim-boe-loop
Sentence: Jason knew that as soon as the computer started acting funny he had to call the customer service hotline. This frustrated him to no end because he knew that he would have to enter in the model number, serial number, the product code and the color of the unit before he even got to the limboloop hell of regional call centers, problem troubleshooting, cream and sugar preference, and choice of wait time muzak, only to have to give the same information when transfered to a human voice with a Irish Catholic name and an Indian accent.
Etymology: limbo, a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date + loop,Something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself.
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COMMENTS:
Great word. Matches the definition very nicely. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:34:00
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Pressbuttirritant
Created by: dochanne
Pronunciation: Press-butt-ear-it-ant
Sentence: David just wanted to talk to someone about how he felt, but no matter what he did he couldn't get through to a human and kept getting lost in the voice-menu options. Before long he was no longer suicidal but was instead homicidal. He cursed and swore - "Damned presbuttirritant!" but in the end the mental health helpline hung up on him when he pressed the two instead of the two twice.
Etymology: Press button - usually what you're told to do by a pressbuttirritant; Irritant - grrrr! Presbyterian - a conveniently named religion, used here because some religions insist their followers press your (door) buttons in the early hours on the weekends and are thus also irritating. Not necessarily the Presbyterians themselves you understand.
Telrettes
Created by: griffiegrrl
Pronunciation: Tell-retts
Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.
Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone
