Verboticism: Splinterviewing
DEFINITION: v. To deny one's accomplishments, or minimize one's abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.
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Nabobfuscation
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: nay-BOB-fuss-cay-shun (nabobfuscate)
Sentence: Bob had managed to parlay his fortune into a pittance, and now he had to depend on the good will of others. He NABOBFUSCATED his job applications, and hoped that the people he had abused in the past wouldn't hold it against him. Once the haughty master of an offshore tax haven, he was lucky to wind up working in a gas station.
Etymology: NABOB+OBFUSCATION=NABOBFUSCATION.......NABOB:a person of great wealth or prominence;Hindi navāb & Urdu nawāb, from Arabic nuwwāb, plural of nā'ib governor.....OBFUSCATE: to be evasive, unclear, or confusing,to darken,to make obscure; Late Latin obfuscatus, past participle of obfuscare, from Latin ob- in the way + fuscus dark brown.
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COMMENTS:
Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 19:38:00
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Crapplication
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun
Sentence: He tried to gloss over the error on his crapplication, insisting that Doctor was his first name
Etymology: application, crap
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COMMENTS:
that would be a neat first name - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00
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Selfeffacting
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting
Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.
Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances
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COMMENTS:
very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00
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Dummydown
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: dumb me down
Sentence: Once upon a time, (for this is how all fairy tales begin) the king exiled Mr. Loang Gone Silver, the bank pirate, to the I'lland country, where he thought his stashed salary millions, awaited him in an off-shore account. King Blackberry, however, had used his magic compupowers to hi-hack the money back! Due to his infamy, Mr. Loang Gone Silver had to change his name, and hide the terrible fact he was once a note-orious bank president, and go looking for a job. His dummydown resume' led him to his new job, as the dumbme, down at the gift shop on the beach, where he became the strawboss and sole-seller of straw shoes and straw hats. Mr. Loang Gone Silver was given the ailias Mr. Long Gone Bigshot.
Etymology: DUMMY, DOWN which is synonymous with DUMB ME DOWN. Dummy - 1) a fake. -2) an offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence or credulity ( informal insult ). Dumb - of lesser intelligence. Down - at a lower level.
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COMMENTS:
Sometimes he moonlighted as a partner to Mr. BoJangles! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 01:59:00
He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks for drinks and tips But most the time I spend behind these county bars 'cause I drinks a bit He shook his head, and as he shook his head I heard someone ask him please Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles Mr. Bojangles, dance.. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:01:00
his new job sounds nicer than being a bank president - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:43:00
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Curriculumbidet
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day
Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."
Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)
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COMMENTS:
You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00
Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00
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Splinterviewing
Created by: matte76
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.
Etymology:
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Disconjobulation
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun
Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Horace found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.
Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)
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COMMENTS:
I love the 'con-job' in the middle! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:15:00
great - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00
Love it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-27: 07:50:00
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Resumaynot
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: rez you mey noht
Sentence: her resumaynot neglected to mention any of her achievements since high school apart from the mose killing stuff
Etymology: resume may not
Denyigreat
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate
Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.
Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)
Disconjobulation
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun
Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.
Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)