DEFINITION: n. The creepy pounds that sneak onto your waist even though you've been exercising and watching what you eat. v. To exercise rigorously, diet fastidiously, and yet still gain weight.

Stealthfood

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: stellth-food

Sentence: The scale gave a small muffled electronic scream when Andy brought his full weight to bear. He was just about done with trying to shape up; two weeks of treadmill and proper diet had led to a 5-pound gain. Unfortunately, Andy had been mistaken in his meal-selecting logic, and all of the sensible meals he had recently consumed were in fact stealthfoods. The 8-oz portion of fish the night before, for example, had come from an Eastern Stoned Lardwrasse. After a lazy afternoon on the reef smoking reefer, the fish had consumed a bag of Funyuns, 3 Big Macs, 2 orders of fries, a chocolate shake, and a carton of Haagen Daazs. Leaving his friends laughing in his enormous wake, calling him names like "Marlin Brando", the lardwrasse had groggily stumbled into a waiting net, his certain doom, and another veneer of fat on Andy's barely denim-constrained buttocks.

Etymology: stealth + food; ala healthfood

Points: 1091

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