Squirlvestor: Is my money safe with you?

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers’ money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

Is my money safe with you?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Squirlvestor: /skwerl-vest-or/ “Why would you give your money to a bank that is a known squirlvestor?”

“Don’t squirlvestor this company away at a time when the competition is looming!” Etymology: squirrel (v. to store stashes for the future, many of which may not be recovered)

investor (n. a person who arranges finances, often on behalf of others, by placing them in other locations in the hopes of future returns) Created by: LiaraTivona.

Rethievership: /riθēvərship/ The executives of several financial institutions, Fat Pockets Inc. were upset when their companies were forced into rethievership. They were so stressed that they gave themselves a bonus. They equate it to combat pay. Etymology: receivership (the state of being dealt with by an official receiver) + thieve (steal something) Created by: artr.

Perfundory: /per-fun-dor-e/ Kimberly wasn’t concerned about the perfundory attitude of bankers because she kept all her dollars stuffed into a mattress locked inside her panic room. In her words: “my funds are not some fat cat’s fundough to shape into a golden parachute!” Etymology: Perfunctory (with little care) + Fund (reserve of money) Created by: thegoatisbad.

Mortgouge: /mor gowj/ Remember the good old days, when a bank was synonymous with fidelity, trust, credit? Now they only pay you interest when they want to lien on you. They mortgouge your soul and make you do a balancing act everyday. They venture your hard-earned money and sell it into bondage. They make an asset out of you and me and you can take that to the bank. Etymology: Mortgage (a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan; put up as security or collateral) & Gouge (obtain by coercion or intimidation) Created by: Nosila.

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