Verboticism: Phleghoard

'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Phleghoard

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Phlegmageddon

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: flem-uh-GED-on

Sentence: So ill was Bob that he truly believed that he had died and been reincarnated as a nose. Despairingly he was a nose not of classic beauty such as a hepburn, but more in the mould of a durrante. And things didn't seem to be getting any better for him, for when the great Rhinobyl disaster struck, and not even a puff of air issued out of the quatrils of Nosetradamus, he started to believe the end was nigh. Fellow snoozles, konks, beaks and candlesticks gather around him, honkers heavenwards, looking for signuses, but the outlook remained grimaldi, things were, "C'est beaucoup." Indeed, he was sure, that a phlegmaggedon of tissumungous proportions was slowly enveloping him.

Etymology: PHlEGM: the thick mucus secreted in the respiratory passages and discharged through the mouth, esp. that occurring in the lungs and throat passages, as during a cold. 2. one of the four elemental bodily humors of medieval physiology, regarded as causing sluggishness or apathy. ARMAGEDDON: the last and completely destructive battle. Any great and crucial conflict.

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COMMENTS:

Great Sentence. Luv Jimmy Durante! Great way to start the new year ... with a great eponym! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:46:00

Sounds like Bob was quite phlegmatic. - Mustang, 2009-01-04: 06:09:00

Poor Bob, to be halluciphlegmatic and fighting the ultimate War of the Noses! - mweinmann, 2009-01-05: 16:33:00

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Snortification

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /SNAWRT-tuh-fi-key-shun/

Sentence: After hacking, sneezing and snorting his way through four boxes of Kleenex over the last day and a half, Harry looked around to find himself surrounded by a snortification of used tissues. 'Typhoid Harry' was going to have to look for a weakness in the structure and find a way to break through the wall of Unkleenex rather quickly — another wave of nausea was coming on and he suspected he'd need a clear path to run to the toilet again.

Etymology: Snort - to breathe noisily and forcefully through the nostrils (from Middle English, snorten; probably related to "snore") + Fortification - defensive structure built around a stronghold (from Latin, fortis "strong")

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps he used the snortification to keep well wishers and do-gooders from cnstantly bothering him! - arrrteest, 2008-03-10: 22:01:00

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Tississue

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tiss_ISS-yew

Sentence: Feeling rotten all over from the bug he was fighting Barry realized he had a potentially dangerous tississue with the growing pile of infectious kleenex but he just felt too lousy to make the necessary effort to deal with it

Etymology: Blend of 'tissue' (sanitary wipe) and 'issue' (in a state of controversy)

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Kleenexsport

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kleen ex sport

Sentence: Lying in his sickbed, watching the Olympic Sports Channel all day, Ernie knew that he could win a gold medal for his country in the pathogen pentathlon: his nose runs, his eyes soar, his lip curls, his fever pitches and his body heats. He could do a slalom down the mountain of kleenexsport by the side of his bed. He would have to do a viral spiral to get to the bathroom before he had to luge again. Yes, his biohazard biathalon would end if he could only get some schuss time. His ailing body was truly an international competition: He put the "Germ" in Germany; the "chill" in Chile;the "I Ran" in Iran; the "Catarrh" in Qatar;and he had been feeling "Laos-y" all day!

Etymology: kleenex (a piece of soft absorbent paper usually two or more thin layers used as a disposable handkerchief) & export ( to transfer goods or to cause to spread) & sport (an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition)

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COMMENTS:

petaj His Doctor gave him vitamin C and said get it India. He also put the malaise in Malaysia and the 'ails' in Wales. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 10:03:00

great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:27:00

Great read and word! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:03:00

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Infloorendsza

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/flor/ends/za

Sentence: Josh had learned in his meditation class to let go of problems and let them float away so he put the teaching into practice used infloorendsza to rid himself of his germs carefully wrapped up in tissues.

Etymology: influenza + floor + ends + za (which is sort of like ya)

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COMMENTS:

Serendipsliptissue-ous! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:49:00

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Snotzone

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: snot-zone

Sentence: Seeing Bob lying there with a cesspool of snot rags beside him, Sue knew what she had to do. She quickly donned her self-contained breathing apparatus and fully encapsulated Level A suit, entered the snotzone, and began to gingerly pluck the mucousy mess from the floor.

Etymology: hot zone (in HAZMAT response, the area of contamination), snot

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle hee hee - you beat me to it! - libertybelle, 2008-03-10: 09:30:00

gross, but funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:26:00

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Phlegmflam

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem flam

Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!

Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Cleanix

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: Clee-nix

Sentence: Because she was usually fairly fastidious, Carla took measure of the cleanix surrounding her as a barometer of how sick she was. When she could no longer step off the couch without touching down on one of the slime nuggets, it was time to call the doctor.

Etymology: Kleenex, the popular tissue, altered to combine clean and nix, as in to put the kibosh on something.

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COMMENTS:

Nice etymology! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-07: 15:05:00

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Tisspew

Created by: zabxuq

Pronunciation: tiss-sp_u

Sentence: The flu was simply too much. Fixing his own lunch was out of the question. With barely enough energy to tisspew, Gil could do nothing but wait for chicken soup reinforcements to arrive under their own power.

Etymology: Tisspew: v. combination of tissue: a thin gauzy paper + spew: eject or cast away.

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COMMENTS:

Souper! - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:06:00

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