Verboticism: Abuttinski

'The victim of an extremely vicious browbeating'

DEFINITION: n. Annoying neighbors who spend endless hours mowing their lawns, painting their fences, washing their cars, and browbeating you because you have a life. v. To express disapproval for someone's lifestyle.

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Abuttinski

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ay but in skee

Sentence: In our sleepy suburban town, we had an abuttinski. She was Old Lady Burns, the bitter divorcee who lived next door to us and found fault with everything people did for enjoyment. She was the Neighbourhood Witch, the one who you could never please. If we didn't mow the lawn when she felt it needed it, she called the Noxious Weed Dept. If we did start up the mower to tackle the lawn, she called the Noise Abatement Dept. If our dog was out in our fenced off back yard, she called the Humane Society. We came this close to having to toilet train Sparky on the potty inside. If we even started up the barbecue, we would have to ensure we had enough food for the whole fire crew, as she would call them the minute we opened the lid. If we cooked something spicy, like curry, the HazMat Team was forced on the scene. The police practically lived on our street because she called them for everything from suspicious persons going door to door (like the paper boy and mailman) to recording license plates of vehicles not know to dwell on our street (like all these enforcement officers' vehicles from all the various city departments)and for attempted break-ins on her property (the gas meter reader,census-takers, the Avon lady). Reasoning, bribes,acts of kindness and inclusion,threats and logical persuasion all failed to change her behaviors. She was always in the right and she had her lawyer on speed-dial to launch suit over anyone who stood up to her underhanded, second-party bullying. She would hide in her house and have every civil servant at her beck and call to do her dirty work. Being self-righteous and thinking herself an upstanding and virtuous Christian, she did speak to every religion peddlar who came to her door. Many thought it poetic justice that the horrid smell coming from her home one day was due to the fact that one of these zealots had taken exception to her smug beliefs and bashed in her cranium several weeks before and helped himself to her valuables. The police, while appearing professional, were secretly glad she no longer controlled their work duties, so they could finally concentrate on real crimes; the Fire Dept. was relieved to have an opportunity to actually fight real fires elsewhere. The moral: if you are not nice to people, there will be no one around to close your lids when your time comes!

Etymology: Abut (lie adjacent to another or share a boundary) & Buttinski(a meddler who tends to butt in)

Points: 947

Comments: Abuttinski

abrakadeborah - 2009-03-17: 01:37:00
Good one Nosila! :)You are a great writer!

metrohumanx - 2009-03-17: 03:16:00
I was just kidding about the brevity of "hydroflobia"....This is an excellent parable and one helluva mico-novel! I hope you're in charge of refreshments at the upcoming First Annual International Verbotomixer and Wordswap Extravaganza!

silveryaspen - 2009-03-17: 13:54:00
Amdire the way you captured that butt mentality! Great etymology. Terrific word!

Nosila - 2009-03-17: 23:40:00
Cheers, all...sadly my sister and her family had to move far away from us to escape such a neighbour...coming home was the most stressful and scary part of their day, because she spent long hours plotting fresh Hell for them. This creature outlived every elected official we had and there is finally a cease and desist response in her flagged file to warn emergency services not to respond to her calls, as she became a permanent nuisance. Of course, charging her $250 for every wasted call went a long way to curbing her behavior! It is sad that someone has nothing better to do but terrorize others...personally I think she'd give the Guantanamo guys a run for their money!

silveryaspen - 2009-03-18: 12:56:00
My heart goes out to you and your sister and your families. I am so thankful that I have exceptionally good neighbors!