Tag: Verbotomy

DEFINITION: v. To deny one’s accomplishments, or minimize one’s abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Resumenial: /rezəmēnēəl/ John had always been fascinated by those guys on the street corner flipping and spinning signs announcing the latest going-out-of-business sale. When his company announced bankruptcy he jumped at the chance to try out for such a job. To do so he had to have his secretary create a resumenial for him, leaving out such details as his MBA and doctorate in finance as well as his years as CEO. The only job experience he listed was part-time dance instructor, a job that helped him get through college some 30 years prior. Unfortunately he was beat out for the job by a former member of The Village People who had a few dance moves of his own. Etymology: resume (a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience, typically sent with a job application) + menial (work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige) Created by: artr.

Crapplication: /krap lik ay shun/ His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars, Etymology: application crap Created by: galwaywegian.

Noncomplishments: /non kom plish ments/ When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he’d lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank… Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training) Created by: Nosila.

Downpay: /Down-pay/ Etymology: Downplay + pay Created by: FreakyDeak.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=interview

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

DEFINITION: v. To offer pre-approved credit, loans or sweepstake prizes in order to lock the some poor sucker into permanent usury. n. Junk mail, spam or telemarketing offers for pre-approved credit and loans.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Telesharketing: /teləshärkiting/ Jill screens all her calls. She has her roommate sort through her mail, because she has found that she is far too susceptible to telesharketing. Next she may have to give up watching television. Etymology: telemarketing (the marketing of goods or services by means of telephone calls, typically unsolicited, to potential customers) + shark (a person who unscrupulously exploits or swindles others) Created by: artr.

Comments on Telesharketing:

galwaywegian, 2010-09-07: 04:58:00
🙂

Blondissue: /blond issss ew/ The bank offered a blondissue which, if you didn’t read the small print, was to dye for. Etymology: bond issue, blonde Created by: galwaywegian.

Owemen: /o men/ Carol could not believe her luck. She had gotten in her mailbox the chance to get a pre-approved credit card. It was low interest (2%) for the first 3 months and then ballooned to 30% after that. She wanted to apply, but talked to her Mom first. Her Mom made her rip up the offer and chuck it away. She told her such a come-on was an owemen…she would owe men money for the rest of her days if she signed up! Etymology: Owe (be in debt) & Men (people) and play on Omen (a prediction of your future) Created by: Nosila.

Lendanger: /len DAYN jer/ Aiyo Yu keeps getting calls from PityBank (motto: “We Want to Help You Feel Forever In Our Debt”) offering her the “opportunity” to roll her balances on other cards “free of charge” into the card she holds from this particular company. She also gets mailings from the same company inviting her to apply for various-sized loans that would pay off all her debts and give her “just one convenient monthly payment.” These lendangering practices are helping a lot – helping PityBank, that is. She doesn’t seem to realize that rolling all your outstanding debts into one payment is only helpful if you actually pay down the balance every month, and don’t run up new balances. Most of her paycheck is a lendangered species at this point. Etymology: endanger + lend Created by: karenanne.

Comments on Lendanger:

Nosila, 2010-09-07: 21:10:00
An all-too familiar tale, sadly!

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=preapproved

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software “upgrade”.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Desktopdysfunction: /desk top dis funk shun/ You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we’ve all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There’s no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you’ve installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there’s a cure, but until there’s a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what’s a lowly desktop to do? It’s hard-breaking… Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man’s inability to have or maintain an erection)

Created by: Nosila.

Upgreyed: /uhp grayd/ she started the upgrade five hours and the screen was still upgreyed. Etymology: upgrade greyed Created by: galwaywegian.

Floptimize: /flop-tim-eyes/ The decision to floptimize my computer was a wrong one, seeing as it can now barely perform addition. Etymology: Flop-optimize Created by: FreakyDeak.

Comments on Floptimize:

FreakyDeak, 2010-09-08: 02:53:00
It was either this or stoptimize

galwaywegian, 2010-09-08: 08:57:00
nice

Arthridical: // You have an arthridical patient. Etymology: Created by: letty.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=update

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

DEFINITION: v. To win approval by carefully omitting any and all facts which may put the “correct” decision in jeopardy. n. A form of persuasion, or perhaps deceit, which is based on selective omissions.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Gomission: /go mishun/ When Sandra told her best friend Lacy about her latest boyfriend,”Fred”,she was coy about his background. Her gomission about “Fred’s” marital status and health history left Lacy thinking he was a catch. When Sandra finally admitted that he was married and had social diseases, Lacy was shocked. She was to be even more shocked later on when she discovered that “Fred” was actually her very own husband, Norbert! Etymology: Go (do it;functioning correctly and ready for action;enter or assume a certain state or condition) & Omission (a mistake resulting from neglect;neglecting to do something; leaving out or passing over something) Created by: Nosila.

Explanasssshhion: /eks plen ay sssssshhh un/ the Mayor’s explanasssshhion helped put the ass back into canvassing, Etymology: explanation sssshh! Created by: galwaywegian.

Fract: /frakt/ Everything she said was true. She would break down all she knew and serve up just those bits that favored her interests. ”I’m not lying”, she would say and that’s a fract. Etymology: fracture (the cracking or breaking of a hard object or material) + fact (a thing that is indisputably the case) Created by: artr.

Harrow: // Don’t tell the whole truth, just a little; you know: Harrow. Etymology: Created by: elteboso.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=stimulus

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

DEFINITION: n. The stars, lights and birds that circle your head when you hit it REALLY hard. v. To watch the stars that circle your head after impact.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Concusstellation: /kon kus stel lay shun/ Brain Injury researchers,Dr. Gene Yuss and his assistant, Dr.Sara Bellum had been working on their thesis that the more often you bonked someone’s cranium, the more stars that they could see. They had even gotten grants from NASA to pursue their concusstellation theory. They worked very hard at hitting each other on the head to test their theory. The only problem with their work was that you could only do it so long before you died or got permanent damage, so we’ll never know what their final findings actually were. No wonder NASA also looks for evidence of intelligent life forms on other planets… Etymology: Concussion (injury to the brain caused by a blow) & Constellation (a configuration of stars as seen from the earth)
Created by: Nosila.

Comments on Concusstellation:

galwaywegian, 2010-09-02: 09:55:00
like them all today !

Batterstargalactica: /batt ur stahrrr gal ak tik aaaa/ The appearance of batterstar galactica occurred after cosmic amounts of vodka disappeared down the red hole, causing a big bang, usually involving an open cupboard door Etymology: battlestar galactica, batter Created by: galwaywegian.

Stupornova: /stoōpərnōvə/ Ralph’s baseball team drafted him to fill in as catcher. He didn’t completely understand the need to wear a hard helmet along with the mask. He also didn’t understand that you shouldn’t lean forward as a pitch comes in. He now understands, or he will as soon as he comes out of his state of stupornova. Etymology: supernova (a star that suddenly increases greatly in brightness because of a catastrophic explosion that ejects most of its mass) + stupor (a state of near-unconsciousness or insensibility) Created by: artr.

Comments on Stupornova:

galwaywegian, 2010-09-02: 09:55:00
🙂

Nosila, 2010-09-02: 19:17:00
stupornovel word

Headscope: // Etymology: Created by: kapnmurphy.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=lites

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game