DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.
VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)
Transfereturnence: /trans-fer-re-turn-ence/ A good CSR knows when an irate customer is making a transfereturnence. When a man complains about a kitchen gadget it means that he had a fight with his wife. When an irate woman argues with him about a sweater it’s often because her mother made a nasty comment about it. But when someone returns Postits because they’re the wrong color it often reveals some serious potty training issues. Etymology: transference:in psychoanalysis – the process whereby emotions such as rage or hatred are unconsciously shifted from one person or object to another + return: to bring back to the original place of purchase; coming back to a place or situation Created by: mrskellyscl.
Customonster: /kəstəmänstər/ Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again. Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening) Created by: artr.
Whinebuyer: /whyne by er/ Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from…they didn’t know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. “Your merlot is hard to open…how can I enjoy it if I can’t decant it?” he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked! Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)
Created by: Nosila.
Plaguetron: /puh-lay-ge-tron/ While Zinnia was on vacation, urgent calls were redirected to Kimberly’s desk, and Kimberly hated this. Among Zinnia’s tasks, she was responsible for dealing with unsatisfied customers, when these unpleased patrons were forwarded to Kimberly, all hell broke loose. “I can only call them plaguetrons” She said, “I had no idea people could be so upset about a sweater. How is it our fault that her daughter can’t ever ride a horse?” Etymology: Plague (scary things that happened in the bible and the 13th century) + Patron (a customer) Created by: thegoatisbad.
To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:
https://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=customer
Be Creative,
James
www.verbotomy.com
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