Lostandphoned: Listen for the ring!

March 10 2010 by James Gang

DEFINITION: v., To call your cellphone when you have misplaced it, hoping that it will ring so that you can locate it. n., The sound of a lost cellphone.

Listen for the ring!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Lostandphoned: /lost and foned/ Stanley’s swinging bachelor pad was always such a mess that he usually misplaced his cell phone. The only way he could ever find it was to call it from the land phone and trace it. He called it the lostandphoned method. Too bad they had not yet invented a similar idea for missing eyeglasses…like if you made a spectacle of yourself, they would come into sight. Maybe if Stanley cleaned his place he wouldn’t always lose his stuff! Etymology: Play on Lost & Found (A repository in a public place, as in a school or theater, where found items are kept for reclaiming by their owners.) & Phoned (called on the telephone)

Created by: Nosila.

Comments on Lostandphoned:

karenanne, 2010-03-08: 12:30:00
Good one

artr, 2010-03-08: 15:07:00
Good word. Just what I would have thought if I thought of it.

Clutterring: /klətərring/ Charley is quite poor at keeping track of things. He never sets things down in the same place twice. Things end up in the strangest places. He is still trying to figure out how one of his socks ended up in a mayonnaise jar in the fridge, but that*s a different story. His current challenge is to not loose his company-issued Blackberry. He has tried several unique techniques. First there was the gecko location which involved rubber-banding the phone to his pet lizard. FAIL! Mr. Green Britches just shed a tail and went off to sell insurance. Then he tried the string theory. He tied a string around his finger and one around the phone with the thought that like things attract. FAIL! He attached a cookie with a thought that somehow his computer would help him. FAIL! Following the ants only worked for a short time. Finally he has a method that works, clutterring. He bought a tiny, cheap cell that he keeps on a cord around his neck and calls the Blackberry when he needs it. If it is dark, the light on the phone acts like one of those **as seen on TV** specials, the Clapper.(clapperring) Etymology: clutter (a collection of things lying about in an untidy mass) + ring (of a telephone; produce a series of resonant or vibrating sounds to signal an incoming call) Created by: artr.

Blackberring: /black-bear-ring/ My blackberry gets blackburied in my purse so I have to blackberring it to find it. Etymology: blackberry: smart phone + ring: phone sound Created by: mrskellyscl.

Comments on Blackberring:

Nosila, 2010-03-08: 23:47:00
blackburied…love it

Buzzterbation: /buz-ter-bay-shon/ Even though she knew it was a sin to spill her cell on the couch, Kimberly often fell asleep playing snake on her Nokia 5110 while watching Animal Planet. She often woke up and would buzzterbate frantically, searching through layer and layer of snuggie and slanket for the precious piece of pulsating plastic that once saved her life. Etymology: buzz (to call) + -terbation (well, I’m a little embarrassed to say) Created by: thegoatisbad.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=ring

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

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Ardorchaic: They don’t make video games the way they used to…

March 9 2010 by James Gang

DEFINITION: n., A belief that the contraptions of yesteryear are superior, in almost every way, to modern, present-day technology. v., To wish that the today’s technology was just as good as it was in the past.

They don't make video games the way they used to...

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Ardorchaic: /ar-door-kay-ic/ Kimberly spent most of her afternoons shuffling through her latest faxes and glancing toward Zinnia with disgust. Zinnia liked to ignore the office listening to her wireless, solar-powered satellite radio headset and Kimberly preferred the textured sound of her Victrola, or when she was especially ardorchaic, a conk shell strapped to her head. Etymology: Ardor (enthusiasm, strong desire) + Archaic (old, primitive) Created by: thegoatisbad.

Tvnotworks: /tee vee not werks/ Grampa pined for the days when tv first came into the average home. Sure there were only 3 channnels; no remote controls (you got your exercise getting up every half hour to switch) and the shows ended at 11:00 pm, so you could get some sleep. Black and white tv meant you had to use your imagination to see the colors. That test pattern was mesmerizing, there were very few commercials and each night Gramp would end the evening with all-star wrestling followed by the national anthem. Nowadays, it was a case of tvnotworks. There were hundreds of channels to confuse you showing the same programs in a zillion different time zones. By the time you found one you wanted, it was over. Reality tv was what passed for entertainment on most channels…showing the depressing, tawdry side of life. You had to be an aerospace engineer to figure out all the recording contraptions on the remote…that elusive piece of hardware no one could ever find. Lost signals, cable outtages and such were new challenges. Nope, thought Grampa, give me the Ed Sullivan show every Sunday night to keep the family together…that was entertainment! Etymology: TV Networks (broadcasting) a television communication system consisting of a group of broadcasting stations that all transmit the same programs) & Not Works (does not work;cause to not operate or function) Created by: Nosila.

Auldlangsystem: /old-lang-sys-tem/ (sung to the tune of Auld Lang syne-traditionally done on New Year’s Eve) Should old Ataris be forgot and ever shall we miss them. Should my old Sega be forgot and Auldlangsystems. The games of Auldlangsystems, dear, like Donkey Kong and Pong. These games that kids all play today are difficult and wrong. Etymology: auld lang syne: times remembered with affection and nostalgia + system: video gaming platforms from the 70’s and 80’s such as Atari, Seaga, Commodore and Intellivision Created by: mrskellyscl.

Ponger: /pon-ger/ Watching people play Wii at Best Buy sent him into a nostalgic moment and he began to ponger how amaaaaaaazing Pong and IntelliVision were and STILL are, but the sales person had no idea what he was talking about when he asked what isle these games were in.

Etymology: PONGER – verb – from PONG (the original video game from the 1980’s) + PONDER (To reflect, or consider with thoroughness and care; TO REFLECT)
Created by: Stevenson0.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=nes

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

Copyiousness: How many trees did you kill to print that?

March 8 2010 by James Gang

DEFINITION: v., To compulsively print out paper copies of all electronic files. n., A printing fetish common among paper pushers who suffer from a paranoid fear that their digital files are disintegrating on their hard drives.

How many trees did you kill to print that?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Copyiousness: /kop pee us ness/ Mimi O’Graf drove her boss, Savya Treez, crazy because she printed off everything that came through her e-mail…even things sent to her by mistake. She was suffering from a bad case of copyiousness and to try and curb her fetish, Savya denied her request for another filing cabinet. Mimi already had four of them and she’d only worked there a year. “Mimi”, she said, “You are going to have to go through all those files and purge the unimportant. The whole point of us going paperless was to have less paper around!” Said Mimi, “But, Boss, if I have to waste time reading all the old e-mails, I will get behind in printing off the new ones!” “That’s it, Mimi!” said Savya, “I am calling the producers of “Intervention” and “Hoarders” to get you some help!!!” Etymology: Copy (a reproduction of a written record) & Copiousness (the property of a more than adequate quantity or supply)
Created by: Nosila.

Hypocopya: /high-po-copy-a/ Jen had hypocopya and regarded her copier key as a datalisman which would protect her from losing her soul if her hard drive was destroyed. She had joined the office cult of datalism, a belief that the data she created in this life would go with her to the afterlife where she would be judged by the quality of the work she produced. Etymology: hypochondria: abnormal anxiety about the state of one’s health + copy Created by: mrskellyscl.

Comments on Hypocopya:

Nosila, 2010-03-04: 18:12:00
datalism, good word

Papyrulimia: /puh-pahy-ruhlim-ee-uh / With unlimited reams of corporate paper, Jenny slowly descended the long, lonely path of papyrulimia where she continuously feed the photocopy machine as much paper as it could swallow and with great satisfaction watched it spew out copy after copy after copy.

Etymology: PAPYRULIMIA – noun – from PAPYRUS (paper) + BULIMIA (an eating disorder characterized by frequent episodes of grossly excessive food intake followed by self-induced vomiting)
Created by: Stevenson0.

Comments on Papyrulimia:

Nosila, 2010-03-04: 18:10:00
good, but icky!

Documental: /däkyəməntl/ Millie doesn*t trust computers. She prints out every e-mail, report and memo that comes her way. She is so documental that she even prints notices from her e-mail service telling her that her inbox is over its limit. She spends so much time sorting and filing her paper that she barely has any time to do her work as an efficiency expert. Etymology: document (a piece of written, printed, or electronic matter that provides information or evidence or that serves as an official record) + mental (insane; crazy) Created by: artr.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=print

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

Inkompentense: What’s with this stupid pen?

March 5 2010 by James Gang

DEFINITION: v., To search for and find a pen to write down an important note, only to discover that the pen does not work. n., A moment in time when the only pens you can find, are pens that do not work.

What's with this stupid pen?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Inkompentense: /ink kom pen tens/ Inkredibly inkonvenient is what he thought. Here he was trying to find a pen that worked to write down the number given him on the phone message he had just accidentally erased from his answering machine…while that number was still in his head. His inklination was to give up, but it would be inkonsiderate to not call back and arrange that interview. Heaven knows his inkome relied upon his getting hired for this great job. At this moment, without a functioning pen, he was in a state of inkompentense. Luckily, he found his cell phone and managed to get the number inkarcerated into it, before it was lost in the fog of poor memory. Hopefully he would not sound inkoherent at his interview… Etymology: Incompetence (inability of a part or organ to function properly) & Ink (a liquid used for printing or writing or drawing) & Pen (writing implement) & Tense (make tense and uneasy or nervous or anxious;a grammatical category of verbs used to express distinctions of time)

Created by: Nosila.

Ballpointless: /bawl poynt lehsssss/ “This pen is ballpointless!” he bawled, pointlessly.. Etymology: pointless, ballpoint Created by: galwaywegian.

Comments on Ballpointless:

Nosila, 2010-03-03: 10:17:00
ballistic word!

Impeniment: /impenəmənt/ When Ralph saw the infomercial for the most wonderful thing he had even seen on late-night TV he just had to have it. As they displayed the phone number he frantically tried one impeniment after another. By the time he found one that worked they had moved on to products for incontinence. Ralph was pissed-off. Etymology: impediment (a hindrance or obstruction in doing something) + pen (an instrument for writing or drawing with ink) Created by: artr.

Comments on Impeniment:

thegoatisbad, 2010-03-03: 14:17:00
your sentence almost made me pee in my pants

Expendead: /ex-pen-dead/ Every pen I find in this house is expendead. Etymology: expended: used up; consumed + pen + dead Created by: mrskellyscl.

Comments on Expendead:

Nosila, 2010-03-03: 23:51:00
exzcellent

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=pen

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game

Sandswicheroo: Look at these lovely lunches. I’m tempted to steal one…

March 4 2010 by James Gang

DEFINITION: v., To swap your lousy lunch for a way tastier one found in the shared office fridge. n., A lunch which is borrowed from a coworker and will not be returned until after it has been consumed.

Look at these lovely lunches. I'm tempted to steal one...

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Sandswicheroo: /sand switch er roo/ Hungry Harry made sure he got to the lunchroom early every day, before his co-workers arrived. His mission was to pull the old sandswicheroo trick. He always brought the same thing, a sandwich made of buttered white bread and swapped it for a more interesting concoction. He had previously enjoyed hummus and veggies on pita, pate on rye, hearty chicken salad, roast beef and provolone and his all-time favourite after holidays, turkey sandwiches. He’d swap then eat at his desk and although many complained, no one could prove he had done the old sandswicheroo once again. This was especially galling to his colleagues, who, like he, all worked at FBI Headquarters! Etymology: Sandwich (two (or more) slices of bread with a filling between them)& Switcheroo (trick where one thing is sneakliy swapped for another) Created by: Nosila.

Freepast: /free PAST/ Rob enjoyed his daily freepast of lunch tidbits that he snuck from the managerial refrigerator. He rationalized that since they were all above him in pay and power, not to mention self-importance, and didn’t bother to ever invite him to the daily morning briefings, that was a good time to help himself. Etymology: repast + free Created by: karenanne.

Comments on Freepast:

Nosila, 2010-03-02: 18:35:00
great word!

Refrigeraider: /rifrijərādər/ Nobody planned it. There was no discussion about it but on Monday everybody who had been a victim stocked the company **fridge** with revenge. Whether it was the yogurt laced with dish soap or the BLT (bacon, lettuce & toothpaste) the refrigeraider was exposed as he ran from the kitchen gagging. There were high-fives and cheering as the crew adjourned to the cafeteria to celebrate with food that was only one notch above what they had prepared. Etymology: refrigerator (an appliance or compartment that is artificially kept cool and used to store food and drink) + raider (surprise attacker) Created by: artr.

Comments on Refrigeraider:

galwaywegian, 2010-03-02: 09:50:00
genius!!

Ransnack: /ran-snack/ I am Sam. Sam I am. Did you know I ransnack ham? I can ransnack Derrick’s ham. I can ransnack Carol’s jam. I can ransnack Dottie’s bread and I can ransnack eggs from Ted. I would ransnack from a jar and I would ransnack from a car. I can ransnack on a house and I can ransnack with a mouse. I can ransnack in a box and I can ransnack with a fox. I can ransnack here or there. I can ransnack anywhere. Every day from here to there, funny things are everywhere. Etymology: ransack: to pillage, plunder or loot + snack Created by: mrskellyscl.

Comments on Ransnack:

mrskellyscl, 2010-03-02: 05:33:00
Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! Today is Read Across America day in his honor. If you get a chance, read with a kid today.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:

http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=fridge

Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
the create-a-word game