Frenchmessing: Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Frenchmessing: /fren tch messs ihng/ with a twist of the wrist the french dressing became frenchmessing. magnifique! Etymology: french dressing, messing Created by: galwaywegian.

Vinairegrette: /vin eh re gret/ The case: Rosemary shook the salad dressing only to have it Russian all over her and the kitchen. The lid had been left loose. The Prime Suspect: Her husband Ceasar, a real Rocket Scientist, who went too far this time. Lettuce examine the motives: Ceasar had been carrying on with the cute tomato next door, Arugula Caprese. Rosemary discovered them undressing one day. She told Arugula’s boyfriend, Radicchio Romaine, of the infidelity and he ordered Ceasar to be tossed in the Thousand Islands area. There was not mushroom for doubt in the jurors’ minds when they heard that Ceasar had bean artichoked and Rosemary was acquitted for her part, filled with vinairegrette; she just wants everyone to leaf her alone. For his escarole in the slawter, Radicchio Romaine is waiting on Death Row to be Chard, cos he was found guilty. Endive story. Etymology: Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic, used as a salad dressing) & Regret (be sorry;contrite;remorseful) Created by: Nosila.

Heinzed: /Hi-nzzzz’d (something like that)/ Shaking the bottle, Lilly was about to taste the 58th variety … SPLAT! She’d been Heinzed. Etymology: Heinz – The sauce manufacturer Created by: wordslikevenom.

Sliptolid: /Slippt-ôh-lidd/ Jake was careful to sliptolid the bottle such that his roommate was unaware that something was afoot with the “Ken’s Steak House Ranch Dressing”. Etymology: Slipped Lid Created by: lawvol.

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Petpeep: I can’t believe you left me here all day. Alone!

DEFINITION: n., A sulky look characterized by prolonged eye contact, which pets give their owners and/or spouses when they feel neglected. v., To stare at someone with a sad-eyed look in an effort to make them feel guilty.

I can't believe you left me here all day. Alone!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Petpeep: /pet peep/ When Jenny returned from holdays every year, she got the same treatment from her menagerie…the petpeep. Even though she had ensured someone would come by daily to feed, water, talk to them and change their litter areas, it took a week for them to forgive her. The guinea pig glared, the beta was baleful, the cat was contemptuous, the sheepdog looked sheepish and the Siamese cat was sulky. Etymology: Pet (a domesticated animal kept for companionship or amusement;a fit of petulance or sulkiness (especially at what is felt to be a slight)& Peep (a secret look; to look furtively)also Wordplay on Pet Peeve (an opportunity for complaint that is seldom missed) Created by: Nosila.

Sniveleyes: /snivəlīz/ Tom always felt bad when he came home from work to find his dog and cat peering out the window as if they had been there forever. They would present him with their very best sniveleyes treatment as if they had been weeping all day long. The whole scenario changed when he found out the the wet eyes were a result of them being allergic to each other. Etymology: snivel (complain in a whining or tearful way) + eyes (a pair of globular organs in the head through which people and vertebrate animals see) a play on civilize Created by: artr.

Gillty: /Gill-tee/ Samantha tapped some flakes into the fish bowl. “Aww”, she said staring into the fish’s sullen eyes. “Did you miss me, Chip?”. Chip floated toward the edge of the bowl and nuzzled the glass. He always managed to make her feel so gillty that she had to go out to work in order to feed him. He was such a bloody selfish cod. Etymology: Guilty – pisspronunciation Created by: wordslikevenom.

Staretling: /stay r tling/ The eye contact she found staretling Etymology: startling, stare Created by: galwaywegian.

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James

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Zombivox: I think he’s pretending that no one is home.

DEFINITION: v., To avoid unwanted interruptions (visits, calls, or emails) by pretending to be unavailable, unreachable or unconscious. n., A person who pretends they are not home in order to avoid talking to someone.

I think he's pretending that no one is home.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Zombivox: /Zom-bee-vox/ Jamie’s claims that he suffered ‘Moon fever’ were never actually substantiated, mainly because no-one had ever heard of it. However, this didn’t stop him from being persistent in his claims of suffering whereby suddenly and without notice he would turn zombivox if interrupted. Etymology: Zombie – a person who appears not to notice what is happening around them
Voice box (colloq.) – the organ in the neck of mammals involved in sound production Created by: wordslikevenom.

Inexcessible: /in ex ses a bill/ Charlie thought The Stones were great and wore his earphones playing their hits all the time. It meant he did not hear the cries of his staff to get away from the bucket falling from the open door. When he fainted in the doorway, it was rendered inexcessible to the average man.

Etymology: Inacessible (capable of being reached only with great difficulty or not at all not capable of being obtained Created by: Nosila.

Shutninja: /shətninjə/ Once Harry gets home from work he becomes a shutninja. Knocks on the door nor ringing of the phone will secure a response. If not for lights going on and off and seeing him leave and return from his job, his neighbors wouldn’t know that anybody lived in his house. Etymology: shut-in (a person confined indoors, esp. as a result of physical or mental disability) + ninja (mercenaries of feudal Japan known for their ability to be invisible/hidden) Created by: artr.

Fauxtard: /pho-tard/ Why does Steve look like he’s about to drool on himself? He’s being a fauxtard so his wife won’t ask him to go shopping with her.

Etymology: Created by: Spacey.

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James

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Whinesteward: This job sucks, but I love it…

DEFINITION: n., A person who diligently and persistently complains about their work. v., To enjoy bellyaching about your job so much that you would never consider quitting.

This job sucks, but I love it...

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Whinesteward: /whyne stew ard/ It was enough to make one blush. Sam Gria was a consumant whinesteward. Although he loved his job serving the best wines to the richest people, he never failed to find a riesling to complain. Although he mulled over his circumstances all the time, he never failed to pinot his hopes on changing his bubbly career. For the sake of his varietal sanity, he thought of moving to Cork or the Rhine or Burgundy, but he lost his bottle. It was claret he’d always finish where he was, if he would only mature. He married Rosé,settled in Bordeaux, was always in hock and watched Magnum PI re-runs on TV most nights. Etymology: Whine (moan, complain) & Steward (attendant) plus Wordplay on Wine Steward (someone who suggests and serves wine) Created by: Nosila.

Breadwhiner: /bredwīnər/ As the chief breadwhiner for his family, Thomas feels trapped in a job he hates. He can moan, gripe, snivel and grumble with the best of them. Perhaps working in the complaint department isn’t the best match for him. Etymology: breadwinner (a person who earns money to support a family) + whiner (a feeble or petulant complainer) Created by: artr.

Admoanistration: /ad-moan-is-tration/ As soon as the lights went up and the last customer left the theatre, Gerry made straight for the vacuum cleaner. “Man! This job f*cking sucks”, he thought to himself in yet another moment of admoanistration. Cleaning between the isles he noticed the goo on the back of seat D4. “Good grief! I pity the poor sod who was sitting in front on HIM”. Being the janitor of a porno cinema had it’s benefits but this wasn’t one of them. Etymology: Administration – tasks needed to control the operation of a plan. Moan – What you do when the train is late AGAIN. Created by: wordslikevenom.

Masoccupachism: /mas-ok-yu-pa-kiz-uhm/ Her masoccupachism was starting to annoy her coworkers, constant complaining of her work was driving them crazy. Etymology: combination of masochism (gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc.) and occupation. Created by: Stackd.

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James

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Revogue: That skirt is way too short!

DEFINITION: n., A fashion item so old that it has gone out of and come back into style. v., To save outdated clothing hoping that it will come back into style.

That skirt is way too short!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Revogue: /ree voeg/ It is true that if you hang onto something long enough, it will come back into style. Sally was delighted to find a trunk of her Mom’s swinging sixties and seventies clothes in the attic. Why pay top dollar for revogue copies, when she could get a whole new, skimpy wardrobe for free? That was the only way she could sneak past her father and convince him that she was the height of fashion, not out on the game. In the old days, he’d been so busy trying to get her Mom out of her clothes that he did not recognize them…EEWWWW! Etymology: Re (to do again;repeat) & Vogue ( the popular taste at a given time) also sounds like revoke (annul by recalling or rescinding) Created by: Nosila.

Refab: /re-fab/ Lily’s dash for the last bus home left her standing red faced with her skirt around her ankles in the middle of the high street. Original it may have been but the trouble with refab’s is that, over time, the elastic tends to perish. Etymology: recycle – to produce useful materials which can be used again. Fabric – cloth or woven material Created by: wordslikevenom.

Rethread: /rēθredz/ Lewis has saved all of his best clothing from his teens hoping that the fashion will come around again. He even wears these rethreads occasionally. All of his friends say no to the Hammer pants. Etymology: retread (put a new tread on a worn tire) + threads (clothes) Created by: artr.

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James

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