Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: hiladizzle

Pronunciation: axi-wait-oo-happen

Sentence: The way that bottle is sitting is an acciwaitohappen.

Etymology: Derived from the phrase "accident waiting to happen".

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bloōsnēz

Sentence: Bill thought he’d play his famous bleusneeze prank on his new girlfriend, leaving the cap loosened on the bottle of salad dressing so that she would spray it all over herself when she shook it. The joke was just as funny (or funnier) when she reached for the bottle, tipped it over and spilled the contents in Bill’s lap. Unsure if she did it on purpose or not, he quietly screwed the lids back on the salt and pepper shakers.

Etymology: bleu cheese (cheese containing veins of blue mold, such as Gorgonzola and Danish Blue) + sneeze (make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ka/punk/ed

Sentence: Jeremy capunked three different people at dinner last night leaving ketchup, mustard and oil and vinegar on the walls, ceiling and floors, not to mention his victims.

Etymology: cap + punked

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COMMENTS:

very funny!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-23: 12:09:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Lo-bottle-me

Sentence: When she shook the catsup bottle the lid flew off, catsup slattered her forehead giving her a frontal lobottlemee

Etymology: Lobotomy + bottle

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Created by: jhill1229

Pronunciation: haf lip

Sentence: It drives me crazy when my son halflips the milk container.

Etymology:

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sal-ad-mes-sing

Sentence: Jim, a perpetual five year old, played one too many practical jokes on his wife when he fixed the lid on the salad dressing, what he called saladmessing, so that it would completely ruin her new sweater. She packed her bags, and handed him a letter from her lawyer. "How's that for closure," she asked before slamming the door.

Etymology: wordplay on salad dressing -- salad + messing: to mess around with or make a mess

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COMMENTS:

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:12:00

like it...don't mess with the dressing! - Nosila, 2010-02-18: 17:22:00

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Created by: codyjohnle

Pronunciation: boo-bee-kap

Sentence: The bastard boobycapped the thousand island.

Etymology: from boobytrap; past tense: boobycapped; person who boobycaps; boobycapper

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant!! - short, sweet and to the point. - crmow, 2007-10-23: 10:53:00

good job, honey. I couldn't beat that, but i tried - maggiejohnle, 2007-10-23: 11:29:00

Excellent! - ErWenn, 2007-10-23: 17:22:00

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Created by: svnfsvn

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: stain +terrorism

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Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Once again, he pseudosealed the salad dressing, so that when she picked it up, it spilled all over her blouse.

Etymology: pseudo (fake/false) seal (to cover)

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