Verboticisms

Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Once again, he pseudosealed the salad dressing, so that when she picked it up, it spilled all over her blouse.

Etymology: pseudo (fake/false) seal (to cover)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bloōsnēz

Sentence: Bill thought he’d play his famous bleusneeze prank on his new girlfriend, leaving the cap loosened on the bottle of salad dressing so that she would spray it all over herself when she shook it. The joke was just as funny (or funnier) when she reached for the bottle, tipped it over and spilled the contents in Bill’s lap. Unsure if she did it on purpose or not, he quietly screwed the lids back on the salt and pepper shakers.

Etymology: bleu cheese (cheese containing veins of blue mold, such as Gorgonzola and Danish Blue) + sneeze (make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils)

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Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: Sa-lam-bush

Sentence: Carmen found a salambush waiting for her in the kitchen; the lid on the salad dressing looked screwed on but wasn't. Was it an accident, or was someone at the party deliberately trying to stain her?

Etymology: Salad and Ambush

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Created by: hiladizzle

Pronunciation: axi-wait-oo-happen

Sentence: The way that bottle is sitting is an acciwaitohappen.

Etymology: Derived from the phrase "accident waiting to happen".

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dee-CAP-lyd-tayt

Sentence: With perverse joy, Lucinda would secretly decaplidtate various salad dressing bottles in the fridge and would wait for some hapless soul to shake them and would squeal with delight at the messy outcome.

Etymology: Blend of 'decapitate' (remove the head of a person or critter) and 'lid' (cap or top for a container)

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Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: Ha-spewed you

Sentence: She fell again for the Haspewedu bottle.

Etymology:

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: howww growww smann

Sentence: Her frenzied shaking of the howgrossman bottle left thousand island dressing dressing the island in the kitchen

Etymology: how gross lloyd grossman sauce

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Top-her-splat

Sentence: Paulie Prankster always set his wife up with a tophersplat every time she used Verbotomy Salad Dressing.

Etymology: Top- a lid of a container. Her- Female. Splat- a wet slapping sound.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re vin ay gret

Sentence: Lettuce examine the facts. After George's cruel trick on Helen, he was filled with revinaigrette, cos he loosened the lid on the salad dressing. Not only that, he failed to romaine at the scene of the grime. She vowed that he would never get to see her dressing again unless he bought her a one carrot diamond ring (which would cost him his celery)...or else he'd end up in the Mayo clinic. Endive story.

Etymology: Regret (feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about) & Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic;salad dressing)

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