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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Paratorque

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) pěr'-rə-tôrk (n.) pěr'-rə-tôrk'-ər

Sentence: "Don't paratorque the ketchup before you put it in the fridge," shouted Mom. "Next time you do it you'll have to clean the entire kitchen!"

Etymology: Para- (false) + torque (to twist)

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Asaltandsplattery

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əsôltandsplatərē

Sentence: Gerry is a real practical joker. In a case of asaltandsplattery he loosened the lid of the salt shaker and ketchup bottle as he served fries to his guests.

Etymology: A play on assault and battery

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:18:00

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Condement

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: kän-dɪ-mənt

Sentence: Even the word condement felt slippery in her brain as she fell victim to the unyielding ketchup.

Etymology: condiment (topping or dressing) + dement (to make insane)

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COMMENTS:

artr Not to mention "con", as in to fool someone. - artr, 2013-01-08: 07:16:00

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh re gret

Sentence: The case: Rosemary shook the salad dressing only to have it Russian all over her and the kitchen. The lid had been left loose. The Prime Suspect: Her husband Ceasar, a real Rocket Scientist, who went too far this time. Lettuce examine the motives: Ceasar had been carrying on with the cute tomato next door, Arugula Caprese. Rosemary discovered them undressing one day. She told Arugula's boyfriend, Radicchio Romaine, of the infidelity and he ordered Ceasar to be tossed in the Thousand Islands area. There was not mushroom for doubt in the jurors' minds when they heard that Ceasar had bean artichoked and Rosemary was acquitted for her part, filled with vinairegrette; she just wants everyone to leaf her alone. For his escarole in the slawter, Radicchio Romaine is waiting on Death Row to be Chard, cos he was found guilty. Endive story.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic, used as a salad dressing) & Regret (be sorry;contrite;remorseful)

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Kapsplatter

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Slimebomb

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sligh mmmmmmmmmm boh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sentence: The recently detonated slimebomb mocked her, Paul Newman grinning as the goo slid down his chin

Etymology: timebomb, slime

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COMMENTS:

great visual - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-19: 09:29:00

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Flyingsauceugh

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Fly-ing-sors-ur

Sentence: When Susan shook the ketchup bottle she realised that her dear husband, aka 'The Joker' had rigged the bottle so that it turned into a flyingsauceugh, sending the whole contents flying through the air landing straight in her face. She vowed to get her own back one day when he was least expecting it, if only she could think of a plan mean enough.

Etymology: Flying(to travel through the air) + Sauce(a thick liquid to add to food to improve the flavour) + Ugh(Used to express something unpleasant) = Flyingsauceugh

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-19: 09:26:00

Gets my vote for sure! I could NOT think of anything on this one! - lumina, 2008-09-19: 18:04:00

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Decaplidtate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dee-CAP-lyd-tayt

Sentence: With perverse joy, Lucinda would secretly decaplidtate various salad dressing bottles in the fridge and would wait for some hapless soul to shake them and would squeal with delight at the messy outcome.

Etymology: Blend of 'decapitate' (remove the head of a person or critter) and 'lid' (cap or top for a container)

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Fliddle

Created by: lawlore

Pronunciation: flid-l

Sentence: I loved my girlfriend, but she had so many annoying habits. I got so sick of her fliddling every time we went out to dinner- she thought it was sooooo funny, but I think she just had shares in my dry cleaners.

Etymology: Portmanteau of fiddle (v., in the sense of "to interfere or play with") and lid (n., the top of a container)

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Saladmessing

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sal-ad-mes-sing

Sentence: Jim, a perpetual five year old, played one too many practical jokes on his wife when he fixed the lid on the salad dressing, what he called saladmessing, so that it would completely ruin her new sweater. She packed her bags, and handed him a letter from her lawyer. "How's that for closure," she asked before slamming the door.

Etymology: wordplay on salad dressing -- salad + messing: to mess around with or make a mess

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COMMENTS:

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:12:00

like it...don't mess with the dressing! - Nosila, 2010-02-18: 17:22:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James