Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) pěr'-rə-tôrk (n.) pěr'-rə-tôrk'-ər

Sentence: "Don't paratorque the ketchup before you put it in the fridge," shouted Mom. "Next time you do it you'll have to clean the entire kitchen!"

Etymology: Para- (false) + torque (to twist)

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈsplædɚˌmaɪn/ /splatter-mine/

Sentence: He hated April Fool's Day as his girlfriend would always booby-trap the entire house, filling it with splattermines, powdersnares, gluetrops, tapewires, squirtbombs, featherfalls, boobie traps, stinkpits, and pie cannons.

Etymology: From splatter + mine (as in the explosive device)

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COMMENTS:

No, I did not misspell "booby trap". A "boobie trap" is something else entirely. I'll leave it up to you to decide what it actually is. - ErWenn, 2007-10-23: 12:12:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əsôltandsplatərē

Sentence: Gerry is a real practical joker. In a case of asaltandsplattery he loosened the lid of the salt shaker and ketchup bottle as he served fries to his guests.

Etymology: A play on assault and battery

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:18:00

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Created by: lawvol

Pronunciation: Slippt-ôh-lidd

Sentence: Jake was careful to sliptolid the bottle such that his roommate was unaware that something was afoot with the "Ken's Steak House Ranch Dressing".

Etymology: Slipped Lid

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sligh mmmmmmmmmm boh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sentence: The recently detonated slimebomb mocked her, Paul Newman grinning as the goo slid down his chin

Etymology: timebomb, slime

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COMMENTS:

great visual - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-19: 09:29:00

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Created by: leechdude

Pronunciation: cap-foon

Sentence: Susan put the glass ranch dressing in a capfoon way which resulted in having to call a maid.

Etymology: cap (lid), foon (just made it up)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Lo-bottle-me

Sentence: When she shook the catsup bottle the lid flew off, catsup slattered her forehead giving her a frontal lobottlemee

Etymology: Lobotomy + bottle

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Created by: Kyoti

Pronunciation: New-mans-own

Sentence: "Who was that guy in the 'Butch and Sundance' film who donates all the profits to charity?", asked Alyssa as she brusquely reached for the bottle, squeezed, and fell victim to yet another heartless pneumanzoning from her grinning boyfriend.

Etymology: Pneuma: prefix meaning "full of air", man: as in "manual", zone: referring to the splatter area as a ratio of the release of air in direct proportion to valuable family heirlooms and furniture.

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