Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pro fan it tees

Sentence: Rudy would always use profanitease instead of the words he really wanted to use. He put the cur in curse. When asked to repreat his bad words, he would inevitably re-word his remarks with different meaning words.

Etymology: Profanity (vulgar or irreverent speech or action) & Tease (to arouse hope, desire, or curiosity without satisfying them)

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: ex-pleh-toot

Sentence: Mommy often had to expletute words around the baby, who was beginning to show an uncanny ability to imitate her speech patterns, especially when she was having a discussion with daddy about golf.

Etymology: expletive: vulgar or coarse word to express emotion + substitute: a replacement

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: code/vurs

Sentence: Around the office, us lackies have to codeverse so we don't offend the boss, or her prim and proper manager with our foul language. When angry at a co-worker, we often shout at them "Go f'coffee", or "He eats hit", but so far our codeversations haven't raised the ire of the language police.

Etymology: code + converse (To engage in spoken exchange)

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: you-feck-miz-m

Sentence: Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmares had to be dubbed with eupheckmisms before it could be screened on the family viewing channel.

Etymology: euphemism (word or phrase used to stand in for a taboo word, or topic that is unpleasant to talk about) + feck (irish eupheckmism for the f word)

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COMMENTS:

Good one, petaj...Gordon Ramsay was a feckin' eejit long before it was fashionable to be so... - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:19:00

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Created by: WarriorCatGoddess

Pronunciation: More-fit-ing

Sentence: The boy was morfiting at his teacher for giving him an F on his quiz.

Etymology:

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Created by: verbherder

Pronunciation: els-swair

Sentence: Howie Mandel always uses vulgarities, but Ed Begley Jr. speaks like a saint. Elseswears come out of his mouth in place of curse words even when he's talking about Mark Harmon and Denzel Washington.

Etymology: else (in some other way) + swear (To use profane oaths; curse)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fōfanətē

Sentence: Marge is the queen of fauxfanity. Her coworkers have no doubt how she feels even though she tries to remain semi-polite by using substitutes for profane language. Phrases like "No friggin' way", "What the fudge","Kiss my bass" or "Go hug yourself" have raised more than a few eyebrows.

Etymology: faux (artificial or imitation) + profanity (blasphemous or obscene language)

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COMMENTS:

similar combinations but different results - great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-06-22: 14:18:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mawk sen it tee

Sentence: Mrs. Beach, the English teacher hated profanity and forbade her students from using any of these words in her classroom. Kids being kids in today's society of course cannot speak without cursing. To keep from being expelled and yet express his youthful dramatics, one brain surgeon in her class found a solution. He developed the mockscenity code. When he wanted to use a curse word, he had to substitute the first letter of that word with a "p" and if the first letter was a vowel, he just put the p in front of it. Pam, it worked like a pitch. It knocked the phit out of bad-sounding words and before long the whole ploody class was using it, pell yes. Mrs. Beach however had been a decryptor with the CIA before she retired to teaching and announced one morning, loudly, "The puck stops here!"

Etymology: Mock (a copy or imitation of something; imitate with mockery and derision) & Obscenity (an offensive or indecent word or phrase)

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Created by: LittleMissSmile

Pronunciation: Frick

Sentence: What the FRICK!?!

Etymology:

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