Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: were couch

Sentence: The annual january workouch proved as painful as always, the treadmill became a headmill, the bench press got a stranglehold which didn't release it's grip until he had peed on the pilates ball. The visit was followed by the annual visit to the chiropracter.

Etymology: workout, ouch

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COMMENTS:

Ouch indeed! - TJayzz, 2008-05-06: 20:56:00

Good one...do you think chiropractors own shares in gyms? mmmm - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:06:00

Excellent word! Simple yet versatile. - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 21:57:00

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [pind] or [pwind]

Sentence: Determined to defeat his winter love handles, Mark finally returned to the gym only to be pwgymned by the chest press machine for five minutes, like a gnat under a toothpick, while he waited for a trainer to rescue him.

Etymology: A combination of 'gym', a building or room designed and equipped for indoor exercise, and 'pwned', a corruption of the word 'owned' denoting domination by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force. The combination sounds like 'pinned', meaning to hold something fast in a spot or position.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ōvərdoōd

Sentence: It doesn’t take much to get Mickey to overdude his weightlifting routine. Just someone looking his way can cause him to stack on extra weight. The resulting strains and pulls will keep him out of the gym for weeks.

Etymology: overdo (carry to excess; exaggerate) + dude (guy/fool)

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Created by: tyler775

Pronunciation: /fin * bah/

Sentence: I received a venba when I got tired and dropped the weight on my neck.

Etymology: *ven from French prefix for come *ba from English word 'back'

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fit-ness-shlok

Sentence: Melvin once again found that he is a fitnesschlock, in such lousy physical condition that even moderate exercise caused not only excruciating pain, but left him lying on the couch for days recuperating.

Etymology: Blend of 'fitness' (physical condition) and 'schlock' (of low quality or value)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jim-nor-zee-um

Sentence: 'Thats it, I've had enough of this fitness lark' said Tom, as he hobbled over to the nearest bench to rest his swollen ankle. 'From now on Im calling this place the gymnausium, cos it makes me sick!!'

Etymology: Gymnasium(A place to get fit and play sport.) + Nausea(To feel sick) =Gymnausim

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: train-crash

Sentence: Connor's traincrash was the worst I'd ever seen at the gym. After two full days of repetitions on the machines, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep against the weights rack, which caused the weights to roll along the floor taking out half the yoga class, the rest of whom ran screaming towards the treadmills causing one of the joggers to lose his footing and suddenly shoot backward wherein he splashed into the pool causing a huge puddle to flood the floor beneath the weight rack giving Connor a terrible electric shock resulting in burns to 75% of his body and a nasty tremor that he'll have for the rest of his life.

Etymology: train (undertake a fitness program) + crash (incident that often causes injury) + train crash (something that is awful to witness)

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COMMENTS:

I've had a couple of those. Guess you could say I'm a 'trainwreck'. Great word. - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:49:00

too much loco motion, I suppose - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:49:00

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