Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

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Spectraitor

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur

Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.

Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:03:00

great word - TJayzz, 2009-01-14: 15:29:00

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Attendease

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: att ten deez

Sentence: Seth was there, if only in body not in spirit, when the corporate meetings Started. His apparent attendease is due to the fact that the Boss told him to go and be paid for the experience, even if he felt no need to participate in any meaningful way.

Etymology: Attendee (a person who participates in a meeting) & Ease (that which is not hard)

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Agendabender

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ah jenda ben der

Sentence: Todd was a first class Agendabender. He hated meetings with a passion and felt they were a waste of time. Sometimes they had meetings just to decide when the next meeting would be! He was considered a renegade for not wanting to attend the meetings, he felt it cut into his time at work. Iromically, those persons who convened meetings ad nauseum, just want to hear their own voices and ideas and apparently did not have enough real work to do, nor deadlines to meet. Todd analyzed what these meetings comprised: "Minutes" of the meetings should actually be called "Hours"; The "Board Room" should have been renamed The "Bored Room"; the "Chair Person" should be called the "Stare Person"...'cause they always managed to spear the attendees with their eyes; and Preparation for a meeting?...the only one anyone really needed was "Preparation H" for the long periods of time spent sitting on the hard wooden chairs! Yes, it was obvious to Todd that some people in his firm got their MBA's specializing in congregation and mind-numbing rhetoric. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, Todd's days attending these mindless marathons were soon to be ended. He had just inherited the company from his uncle and his first order of business would be to agendabender the hell out of these pointless meetings!

Etymology: agenda { a list of matters to be taken up (as at a meeting)} & bender (someone who modifies the rules to suit themselves) & genderbender (for rhyming purposes, not that there's anything wrong with that!)

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COMMENTS:

I admire your witty word plays in quotes, and your story, for they very humorously and successfully convey the feeling of frustration. Perhaps before his agendabender to ease his frustration, he went on another kind of bender! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:35:00

Perhaps Todd is a "Boy George" fan? Clever word; luv the sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 02:26:00

Workershirker? Congrats! - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 09:30:00

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Illoiterite

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite

Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Thurgood typically came to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his girly magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.

Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)

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Offassoffender

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er

Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.

Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,

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COMMENTS:

That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00

Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00

Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00

Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00

Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00

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Muteinear

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: myoot in eer

Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!

Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)

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COMMENTS:

great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00

Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00

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Dildotaunt

Created by: BimpusHead

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Attendunce

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: att en dunsssss

Sentence: His attendunce record snored for itself

Etymology: attendance dunce

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! Simply great and easy to remember. luv the sentence, too. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:12:00

I like this word and voted for it. But wonder if we worry about the words being the "right" parts of speech as called for... - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 15:57:00

Great...I'm sure we all atend meetings with these duds, I mean dudes! - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:12:00

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Nontributor

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: non - trib - you - tore

Sentence: When Lenny didn't get the raise he thought he deserved, he became a nontributor at all of the meetings he was forced to attend. He brought in nothing that could be interpreted as a contribution to the meeting. Instead, he brought in crossword books, playing cards or even his Nintendo DS. Once in awhile, he would say something like "does anyone know a four letter word for someone who misbehaves in company meetings ending in the letter K?" Or "Yes, the Red Jack goes on the Black Queen", just to irritate those who made him attend.

Etymology: Contributor (To help bring about a result; act as a factor, giving in common with others for a common purpose) + Non (Negative form of a word or group of words)

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-14: 11:31:00

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Dislaction

Created by: Biscotti

Pronunciation: dys-lack-shun

Sentence: John was a severe dislaction when he showed up to the quarterly report meeting dressed up in a gorilla suit and screaming "Guerilla warfare, recruit the monkies!!" Needless to say, he was dragged away on possible terrorism charges and lost his job.

Etymology: distraction (getting other's attention away from the problem at hand) + slacker (one who is consistently lazy)

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COMMENTS:

Entertainalicious! - doseydotes, 2008-03-24: 17:08:00

Roared with laughter ... Great creates! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James