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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Awkwords

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: awk-werds

Sentence: Jim is not a fan of dental appointments, not because of a concern for pain or the loss of productive time. What he hates is the awkwords that fill the room as the procedures progress. It's difficult, at best, to carry on a conversation with fingers, water spray and other tools in your mouth.

Etymology: awkward (lacking social graces or manners) + words (speech or talk)

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Speakuneasy

Created by: KenM2

Pronunciation:

Sentence: as soon as the dentist placed the the drill in my mouth he started his speakuneasy.

Etymology: speak and uneasy

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Jabbertalky

Created by: TheFlawlessWord

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Beware the Jabbertalk, my twit! The hose that sucks, the drills that buzz! Beware the dental bird, and spit The voluminous cottonmouth fuzz!"

Etymology: Apologies to Lewis Carroll

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Distromain

Created by: lauren

Pronunciation: dis/tro/main

Sentence:

Etymology: dist ffrom distract, rom from 'from', and ain from pain.

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Therapalaver

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: THAYR ah puh LAV er

Sentence: Believe it or not, the exercises for my burned hand weren't nearly as painful as the therapalaver I had to be subjected to during the treatments. At least talking about the record-setting snowfall in our area, how difficult it was to drive to the clinic, etc., gave me about two weeks off from listening to celebrity gossip....

Etymology: therapy + palaver (superfluous or idle talk)

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Stumblemumble

Created by: sarabriggs

Pronunciation: stum-ble-mum-ble

Sentence: this situation couldn't be any worse because you have at least twenty fingers in your mouth, including grinding power tools that cant touch your toungue. so talking in the back of your throat is all that can really go on. maybe you should become a ventriliquist and learn how to speak correctly without moving your lips. stumble and mumble over all the words you can get out you ventriliquist you.

Etymology:

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Yourface

Created by: kaily73

Pronunciation: your-face

Sentence: youface

Etymology: none

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Shiberism

Created by: Jpwareham

Pronunciation: Shi/ber/ism

Sentence:

Etymology: Shi-random,berism- type of gibberous

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Unnecesspeak

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Un-ne-ciss-speak

Sentence: I longed for a speedy outcome which I knew was unlikely due to a constant barrage of unnecesspeak.

Etymology: Unnecessary Speak.

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James