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'What are you doing in the fast lane?!!'

DEFINITION: n. A driver who ignores the rules of the road by driving very slowly (i.e. at the legal limit) in the fast lane. v. To strictly observe the "suggested" speed limits, even when using the fast lane.

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Verboticisms

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Cruisader

lplybon

Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kroo-SA-der"

Sentence: Although he adored her, Bart detested having to go grocery shopping with his Aunt Nelly. Aunt Nelly insisted on driving despite being blind in one eye and deaf in one ear. And she was such a cruisader! She consistently drove 10 miles under the speed limit, signaled in the parking lots, and stopped at all "stale green" (her phrase) lights.

Etymology: Combination of the words "cruise," "crusade," and "sadism"

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Roadtard

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: road-tard

Sentence: The line of traffic seem to stretch infinitely as the roadtard was trying to take the perfect profile picture of herself driving in the left lane.

Etymology: road+retard

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Stoperator

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stop er ay tor

Sentence: Because he crawled and dawdled down the road, stopping for every bump and hole, he was awarded his stoperator license.

Etymology: Stop (not move) & Operator (someone who operates machinery)

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Motortoise

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: mot - or - tus

Sentence: Elsie was a motortoise on the highway; she thought the passing lane was the lane you stayed in so everyone could pass you.

Etymology: motorist, tortoise (Belonging to any of several species of turtles that live strictly on land)

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COMMENTS:

Good one...she must be shell-shocked! - Nosila, 2009-05-26: 16:02:00

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Trafficinterruptus

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Traf - ik - in - tuh - RUHP - tuhs

Sentence: Irving once again found himself cursing the trafficinterruptus caused by two overly cautious drivers driving side by side taking up both lanes on the divided highway.

Etymology: Traffic and interruptus....latin for 'to interrupt'.

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COMMENTS:

Hehe! - purpleartichokes, 2008-04-07: 18:19:00

- arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:00:00

hmmm. My original comment was something like a chuckle and a wink, wink, nod, nod. I guess you can't put " - arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:02:00

lol, I'm using the comments here to learn about how and what not to put in comments here. Now, James, it dawns on my why you had to reformat my poem earlier. Ha! This makes me think of a definition for later... - arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:05:00

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Slomomotorist

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: slōmōmōtərist

Sentence: It never fails, whenever Jim is in a hurry he falls in behind a slomomotorist. He should have known better this time. As he approached this virtual speed bump he saw all the classic signs, the over-sized sedan of dark bland color, the omnipresent turn signal, the silhouette of a fedora and white knuckles. The only thing that was more annoying was the guy in the next lane who felt it was his job to match the speed of the one in front of him effectively blocking him in.

Etymology: slow-motion (action appears slower than in real life) + motorist (the driver of an automobile)

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Slowffeur

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: slo fewer

Sentence: Archie drove his ancient Triumph convertible every day down the freeway to his appointments and errands. He was a slowffeur and believed his car lasted longer if he drove slower. Luckily he was very hard of hearing, so he missed all the honks he got from his fellow commuters in the fast lane. He believed that a safe speed was one that was exactly one half of the posted limit. He was finally pulled over one morning by the Highway Patrol. The officer naturally requested to see his license and insurance papers, to which Archie finally shouted: "Never needed either, since I never go over the limits. I don't need papers, I know how to drive!"

Etymology: Slow (not moving quickly; taking a comparatively long time) & Chauffeur (someone paid to drive a person in a car;to drive someone in a vehicle;a person who drives vehicles for a living)

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COMMENTS:

I think I rode in his taxi once. - Mustang, 2009-05-26: 06:42:00

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Carhography

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: car/hog/graf/ee

Sentence: A firm believer in carhography gets out his map and follows the road at a set speed, keeping his eyes forward and never paying attention to anyone behind him.

Etymology: car + hog + cartography

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COMMENTS:

Clever word... like the mapping aspect - Jamagra, 2008-04-07: 14:02:00

(baby you can drive my car...) - purpleartichokes, 2008-04-07: 18:23:00

Very close to the mark - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-07: 20:34:00

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Petroloiter

Created by: catgrin

Pronunciation: pe-tro-loi-ter

Sentence: People tend to petroloiter on Sundays. This causes weekend commuters no end of frustration!

Etymology: petrol + loiter

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Speedumbmeter

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: spee/dum/eater

Sentence: A speedumbmeter is too slow to drive.

Etymology: speedometer + dumb

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-07: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by stache and Biscotti. Thank you stache and Biscotti. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-04-07: 17:40:00
A friend of mine always said, "Beware of old men in hats driving Buicks." I remember driving up the NJ Turnpike at 75MPH and pushing 80 in the right lane and being flashed by motorists thinking I was going too slow!

purpleartichokes - 2008-04-07: 18:03:00
My dad always said "Beware of men smoking cigars and driving station wagons." Wouldn't ya know, my first close call was with one of them?

logarithm - 2008-11-27: 11:18:00
Hehehe...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-26: 00:05:00
Today's definition was suggested by Biscotti. Thank you Biscotti. ~ James

PennonFurl - 2018-06-13: 19:02:00