Verboticism: Stealthfood

'I've been working out on this ab machine every day for a week'

DEFINITION: n. The creepy pounds that sneak onto your waist even though you've been exercising and watching what you eat. v. To exercise rigorously, diet fastidiously, and yet still gain weight.

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Stealthfood

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: stellth-food

Sentence: The scale gave a small muffled electronic scream when Andy brought his full weight to bear. He was just about done with trying to shape up; two weeks of treadmill and proper diet had led to a 5-pound gain. Unfortunately, Andy had been mistaken in his meal-selecting logic, and all of the sensible meals he had recently consumed were in fact stealthfoods. The 8-oz portion of fish the night before, for example, had come from an Eastern Stoned Lardwrasse. After a lazy afternoon on the reef smoking reefer, the fish had consumed a bag of Funyuns, 3 Big Macs, 2 orders of fries, a chocolate shake, and a carton of Haagen Daazs. Leaving his friends laughing in his enormous wake, calling him names like "Marlin Brando", the lardwrasse had groggily stumbled into a waiting net, his certain doom, and another veneer of fat on Andy's barely denim-constrained buttocks.

Etymology: stealth + food; ala healthfood

Points: 863

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Comments: Stealthfood

silveryaspen - 2008-03-19: 10:06:00
What a witty twist to come up with an eat-it-self-to-death fish that packs weight on humans! Topped off with a meaning full great pun! Excellent Won!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-19: 20:55:00
Now I know why I almost bought that bag of Bloomin' Onion Crisps at the store tonight. Bastard Banky! (Sorry James!) Nice word!