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'Nothing clever to say?'

DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.

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Tortard

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: tōr'tärd

Sentence: Her insult was witty and cutting. I dug deep in my repertoire for an equally eloquent response, not wanting to defer to simple comments about her mother. Finally it came and I released it to the now distant and distancing back of her head. My lack of haste had resulted in the ever embarrassing tortardation. My weak totard fizzled on absent ears. Why, oh why, was I doomed to tortardation?! (slang, pejorative, adj.: retortarded)

Etymology: retort (To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner) + retard / tard (To be delayed. Latin retardāre : re- + tardāre, to delay (from tardus, slow))

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Comeslack

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: (KUHM-slak)

Sentence: He sat in dismay as he had created a perfect comeslack to her nasty remark an hour ago.

Etymology: From "comeback" (a retaliation remark) and "slack" (slow or sluggish).

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COMMENTS:

What every woman wants? - Bulletchewer, 2007-04-03: 17:30:00

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Postrip

Created by: Alchemist

Pronunciation: POHST-rip

Sentence: As usual, Jimmy thought of a perfect postrip 2 days after Jeanine called him a lackwit: "I know you are, but what am I?"

Etymology: postscript, post (after), rip (as in to rip on someone verbally).

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Repartardy

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: re-par-tar-dy

Sentence: Mike could only deliver brilliant repartardy to his mirror long after his guests had gone. He longed to be quick and witty; however, he was tongue-tied while he was being verbally filleted by his friends' good natured bantering. As the Japanese proverb says: "He had many knives -- none of them sharp."

Etymology: repartee: swift, witty reply; a conversation marked with the exchange of witty retorts + tardy: arrive or occur after the expected time

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2009-10-20: 12:47:00

Cutting and pointed! - Nosila, 2009-10-21: 01:25:00

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Missdiss

Created by: Insatori

Pronunciation: Miss diss

Sentence: Your response to her insult was genious, but you hesitated and missdissed.

Etymology:

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Witofstair

Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Longliner

Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: longliner

Sentence: If i only could make those longliner come earlier somehow... ...maybe i simply should invent a quicker way to transmit my thoughts through my speech-centre to my tongue... perhaps i am a rare patient of longuetonguelitis.

Etymology: long + line = message comes late.

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Hindsightjibe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hynde syte jybe

Sentence: Drew was famous for his hindsightjibes. When that snotty drag queen walked passed him and told Drew his fly was down (well, she actually said that he had left the garage door open on his dinky car)...he got tongue-tied and froze up(and not just because he had left that door open). Upon reflection, he should have yelled at her that the back of her dress was tucked into the top of her panty hose and a big long piece of arsewipe was stuck to the heel of her stilettos. But then he thought that he would just leave it to cleavage...

Etymology: Hindsight (understanding the nature of an event after it has happened) & Jibe (an aggressive remark directed at a person like a missile and intended to have a telling effect)

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Retorture

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree tort chur

Sentence: Drew always became tongue-tied after the tart-tongued Ramona passed him by at school and made one of her blistering comments to him. It was only after she departed that he would think of something clever in return. This retorture replayed like a video in his head all night. He was so busy trying to be the witty racontuer that he failed to realize that she only did this to get his attention because she liked him.

Etymology: Retort (a quick reply to a question or remark (especially a witty or critical one)& Torture (torment emotionally or mentally;the act of distorting something so it seems to mean something it was not intended to mean)

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Delaverbovery

Created by: Jaxies

Pronunciation: /duh-luh-vurb-of-eree/

Sentence: "It was only five hours later that Chris thought of the perfect comeback to Andy's snide remark that 'you couldn't shag a sheep if you tried'. A perfect case of delaverbovery."

Etymology: Delay + verb + recovery

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James

mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 11:45:00
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-20: 03:48:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James