Verboticisms

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) tôrk'ē-māt

Sentence: Max torquemated the mason jar lid until his fingers bled and teeth cracked.

Etymology: From Torquemada (1420 – 1498, first Inquisitor General of Spain, as a homage to his torture techniques) + -ate (suffix = a stem on which a verb may be formed)

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Created by: gcolton

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: rice pudding with a speech impediment rythe-pudding

Sentence: Yet again, Andy resorted to writhepudding to extract his dessert from the tin without a can opener. But it was a fruitless exercise. His strength was already depleted from the contortellini to obtain his first course.

Etymology: rice pudding + writhe

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Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Larry sprained his wrist fracturning the jar, but the pickles were just fine.

Etymology: fracture-turn

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: jahr-CHAH-chah

Sentence: Bob found himself totally in a jarchacha, when in front of Mrs Sanchez, who he wanted to emundorosape perfectly, even to her love of Latin-American dancing and body-building, he couldn't, despite straining every muscle, open a jar of gerkins.

Etymology: Blend of Jar & Cha-Cha

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-26: 15:00:00

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Created by: Kyoti

Pronunciation: Vlas-uh-kin-uh-TROH-payt

Sentence: Scooter loved Granny Mabel's homemade preserves, but some of them had been canned so long ago that he often failed to vlasikinetropate well enough to get them open without resorting to hammers or screwdrivers.

Etymology: Vlasic: a brand of pickles that come in impenetrable vacuum-sealed jars + Kinetic: a visible expenditure of energy + Tropism: motion derived from stimulus, such as hunger + Pate: referring to the forehead area which reddens and sweats during this process.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tork chewer

Sentence: The torqueture was all the more painful because he didn't even like branston pickle.

Etymology: torque, torture

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COMMENTS:

maybe he should dill-iberate more when he chooses his pickles - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-30: 12:15:00

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈskɹɛntʃ/

Sentence: Once, when presented with a jar with a lid sealed shut by dried-out shoe polish, my grandfather screnched the jar into pieces.

Etymology: From screw + wrench. Kinda sounds like "clench", which is what one does with one's teeth while screnching.

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COMMENTS:

True story about my grandfather. Cut him up pretty badly, but still a very impressive display of manhood. (As with all impressive displays of manhood, a certain degree of stupidity is a necessity.) - ErWenn, 2007-10-30: 11:06:00

Your word sums up well the effort and feeling of the task. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-30: 16:52:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: her-cue-low-pen

Sentence: Billy strained for 15 minutes trying to herculopen the jar of olives, he gave up and decided to have his martini without. Miranda popped the jar with a simple flick of her wrist.

Etymology: hercules - noted strong man of ancient Greece + open

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rist sist

Sentence: Stanley could normally open anything but this pickle jar was determined to wristsist all his efforts. Try as he mite, he could not open it. What he did not realize was that he had met the leader of the Wristsistance in his fridge, Colonel Cornichon. The Colonel had dilliberately held his position and mobilized his highly trained commandos, The Gherkins, to hold off Stanley's attacks. When Stanley held their stronghold under hot water and tapped it with a knife, the Colonel knew the siege was almost over and mustard his courage and sent out an SOS (Sweet or Sour) signal: "Mayo-day, Mayo-day, we don't relish this a salt. Although we've worked hard for our bread and butter, pickles, it is time to use our brines and admit defeat, since wristsistance is futile and sing the old war songs. 'Goodbye, Piccallili, Farewell Leicester Square, it's a long, long way to sip a sherry, but my heart's right there'. Dill we meet again, in the Alimentary Canal, I salute you."

Etymology: Wrist (a joint between the distal end of the radius and the proximal row of carpal bones) & Resist (refuse to comply;withstand the force of something;elude, especially in a baffling way)

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COMMENTS:

Can't open the pickle jar? No big dill! Great paranomasiac story... - LoftyDreamer, 2008-09-29: 20:23:00

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