Vote for the best verboticism.

'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Imperturbanate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: im - per - TERB - uhn - ayt

Sentence: When suddenly faced with seemingly insurmountable difficulties Wilmont had the amazing capacity to remain absolutely cool and collected and to imperturbanate, while spreading his reassuring influence and give confidence to those about him.

Etymology: Based on the word imperturbable...(incapable of being upset or agitated; not easily excited; calm)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx IMPERTURBANATE is very creative and pronounceable- but i keep seeing a turban. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:52:00

I see the turb as being the first part of turbulent which would work well - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:39:00

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Chaostoicize

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: KEY-uh-STOH-i-sahyz

Sentence: Jeremy's uncanny ability to chaostoicize set him apart from the other rodeo clowns.

Etymology: chaos + stoic + ize

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Apocalypstoicism

Trystera

Created by: Trystera

Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"

Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.

Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism

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Disastill

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Diz-as-til

Sentence: How could anyone ever be so disastill after that huge cataclysm! My stubbed foot will be in pain for days.

Etymology: Disaster (a catastrophy) + still (calm and unmoved)

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Steadphased

Created by: fredini

Pronunciation: Stead-Phased

Sentence: Despite the massive denial of service attack and calls from the CFO, the sys-admin remained steadphased as he rebooted the server.

Etymology: Steadfast +Phased

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Hystericool

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /hi-STER-i-kool/

Sentence: The whole family was going on summer vacation again — to Disney World this year — with Jane, her husband, their five kids, her in-laws and two cousins. Every year, it was Jane's job to organize the family's packing and get everyone ready to rush to the airport as soon as Jack, her husband, got home from work; and Jack was always late. With screaming kids running all around her, Jane calmly walked through the house, grabbed Grandpa Joe's medicine, Jennie's retainer, James' Game-Boy and Jill's iPod, dropped them into the appropriate suitcases while snatching a flying T-shirt out of the air and packing that too. While chaos erupted around her, Jane remained hystericool. She didn't even sweat a drop when she and Jack rode the Space Mountain ride. As the ride stopped, Jack leaned over and gave 'his Coolamity Jane' a smile and a big kiss.

Etymology: Hysterical - behavior characterized by excessive or uncontrollable emotion, such as fear or panic (from Greek, hysterikos "of the womb, suffering in the womb") + Cool - not excited; calm, especially during times of stress (from Pre-Germanic, koluz "cold, to freeze")

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx HYSTERICOOL is beautiful- and obviously based on an all-too-real personal experience. Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:58:00

great word tigger - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:33:00

Actually metro, I was thinking of the beginning of the movie 'Home Alone' and Catherine O'Hara's character when I wrote that. But anyone with that many kids to travel with ought to be a complete wreck, even if she does forget one... - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 10:54:00

I love it! And that "sentence!" We are all aspiring writers I think... :) Great read! - lumina, 2008-07-10: 18:43:00

Good one, Tigger...gives one hystericool laughter! - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:19:00

Another great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:24:00

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Placidhead

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: pla-sid-hed

Sentence: Dave had to be a placidhead because Jill was always chaotic.

Etymology: placid, acidhead

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Calmcentrate

Created by: iwasatripwire

Pronunciation: com-cen-trate

Sentence: I always put on my calmcentrating hat in a crisis.

Etymology: calm + concentrate

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COMMENTS:

nice - wordmeister, 2007-05-10: 00:43:00

Won't forget that one! - geoamnesia, 2007-05-10: 03:40:00

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| Comments and Points

Androitude

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: AHN - droi - tyood

Sentence: No, it wasn't the crashing of a plane infested with snakes or the holdup of the diner that made Samuel L. Jackson's girlfriend go ballistic and frantically screaming for help... it was actually his androitude.

Etymology: android (a systematic cyberhuman; we all know how freakishly organized C-3PO was) + attitude (disposition)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James