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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Pragmatician

Created by: Wordsmith

Pronunciation: prag-ma-ti-shun

Sentence: She was never emotional, didn't skip a beat; she immediately took control in a calm, orderly fashion resolving the issue as any pragmatician would.

Etymology: from the latin gramaticus, greek gmatico

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Spock

Created by: autophile

Pronunciation: SPOCK

Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.

Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.

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COMMENTS:

Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00

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Browniechannelize

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz

Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."

Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)

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Zensible

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Pronunciation: zen/si/bol

Sentence: Joe is zensible in the worst situations, remaining centered and focussed on what needs to be done to avert disaster and calmly following through.

Etymology: ZEN (calmness and enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation) + SENSIBLE (having, using, or showing good sense, or sound judgmen)

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Systematicool

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sys-tem-a-ti-cool

Sentence: Each year geeks from all over the country make their pilgrimage t0 Star Trek conventions to pay homage to Mr. Spock - the loveable Vulcan who epitomized geekchic. He is an icon because he was always so systematicool, methodicool and analyticool. When the Klingons attacked and the rest of the starship freaked out, he stayed in control at all times and eventually saved all their hides by logic.

Etymology: systematic + cool

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Chaostoicize

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: KEY-uh-STOH-i-sahyz

Sentence: Jeremy's uncanny ability to chaostoicize set him apart from the other rodeo clowns.

Etymology: chaos + stoic + ize

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Calmamity

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kaam am ittee

Sentence: his calmamity in adversity was legendary, what a pity he was such a disappopintment in bed, thought Moneypenney

Etymology: calm calamity

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-10: 12:17:00

Great concept! - jedijawa, 2007-05-11: 08:29:00

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Chilloose

Created by: eiggy

Pronunciation: chill+loose

Sentence: Shirley: Oh no! Fire-breathing miniature elephants have invaded Chicago! We're doomed! Wellington: Chilloosen up, honey. There's no way Oprah would allow that kind of nonsense.

Etymology: from Latin ciele (cold) and Middle English loos (free from bonds)

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Inswerviate

Created by: rubysoho

Pronunciation: in-swerv-ee-ate

Sentence: When faced with a deadline that is complicated with challenge it is critical to not get off track. In these situations, inswerviants rise to the top. While their behavior may seem uptight on a normal day, their singlemindedness and unwillingness to swerve or deviate from a path can save the day when the heat is on.

Etymology:

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James