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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Femalusional

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL

Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.

Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00

super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00

metrohumanx Hey, crew ! Check this site out: http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00

Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00

love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00

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Unrufflood

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: un/ruff/flud

Sentence: He remained completely unrufflood even when the rising waters were close to his chin

Etymology: unruffled + flood

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Fiascool

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: fee/as/cool

Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.

Etymology: fiasco + cool

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COMMENTS:

he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00

petaj Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00

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Zentinue

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: ZENN-tee-new

Sentence: Zach was unflappable. He could zentinue playing the guitar while dodging falling bricks from the collapsing roof of the stadium.

Etymology: Zen (a school of Buddhism) + continue (to keep going)

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Freason

mishmish

Created by: mishmish

Pronunciation:

Sentence: I get so excited when I'm in front of all these people, but she just freasons.

Etymology: Freeze + reason

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Catastaunch

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /kəˈtæˌstɔːntʃ/

Sentence: When calamity strikes, it's often surprising to see who steps up to catastaunch the flow of disaster; it's not always whom you expect.

Etymology: from catastrophe + staunch (meaning both "steadfast" and "to stop the flow of")

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Fonzd

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: FO NZ D

Sentence: I was suprised how fonzd he was, considering the disaster unfolding around him.

Etymology: Fonzd, derived from Fonzie - "Happy Days" (played by Henry Wrinkler). I got the idea from infamous diner robbery scene, aka a huge freaking disaster, in movie "Pulp Fiction" when the Samual L. Jackson is saying 'Now everyone be cool like the fonz!'

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Coolbloodism

allufunmarx

Created by: allufunmarx

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Chaostoicize

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: KEY-uh-STOH-i-sahyz

Sentence: Jeremy's uncanny ability to chaostoicize set him apart from the other rodeo clowns.

Etymology: chaos + stoic + ize

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James