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'Why are you licking your pizza?'

DEFINITION: v. tr. To eat in a peculiar or ritualistic manner in an effort to lose weight while consuming more. n. An idiosyncratic method of eating, usually adopted for "health reasons".

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Lickosuction

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: lik o suk shun

Sentence: Her Catholic upbringing had programmed her to believe that acts were only sinful when you took pleasure in them, so she applied the same logic to eating, figuring that you wouldn't get fat if you didn't enjoy the food. Her lickosuction technique unfortunately had the opposite effect, as it didn't involve chewing, which was the only calorie burning part of the process.

Etymology: liposuction, lick, suction

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COMMENTS:

Obviously, she was a Cathaholick. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:11:00

it made eating salad difficult because she was a romaine catholick - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:31:00

Life would have been easier if she were Chewish. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:40:00

foodha would say that the existance of her cheeseburger would be moo. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 10:07:00

and Gibran would say 'Beauty is eternity grazing at itself in a mirror' - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:05:00

petaj And the love of honey is the pursuit of all weevils. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:08:00

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Rationormity

Created by: administraitor

Pronunciation: ra-shon-or-mi-ti

Sentence: Gilda justified her eating habits thus: "If one grapefruit is good for you, two must be gooder!" However, the application of this rationormity to all food groups led her to become a food groupie of huge (pro)portions!

Etymology: ration + rationalize + enormity

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COMMENTS:

petaj Just as well Gilda was not the treasurer. Her rationomics would have sent them broke. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 22:37:00

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Oddballimia

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: od bal EE mee ah

Sentence: Candy can't understand why she can't lose weight. She scrupulously avoids starches after 5:00 pm ("it turns right to fat"). She always carefully counts her daily calories. She eats lots of celery ("it takes more calories to digest it than it has in it, so that's negative calories"). She also eats a lot of spicy foods too ("that revs your metabolism and burns more calories"). Of course, drinks don't really count because they are mostly water; the same goes for soup. And everyone knows that the bites you take while you're cooking, to "taste test" the food, don't count. She does eat whatever is left on her kids' plates, but those calories don't count either because she eats standing up.

Etymology: oddball + bulimia

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Dietscary

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: di-et-scare-y

Sentence: Marie's dietscary requirements consisted of whatever wacko fad-diet she read about in the supermarket check-out. One day she would eat nothing but papaya, another day, nuts and twigs. At least she never had to worry about her lunch being stolen.

Etymology: diet: a regulated system of food for health or cosmetic reasons + dietary: a system or regimen of diet + scary: frightening

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Alphabedining

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: alfa be dyn ing

Sentence: Being a slave to fad dieting, Trixie had found a new regime to try. It was called alphabedining and basically you could order whatever you wanted as long as you ate fruits and vegetables in the alphabetical order of their names. So she would eat the apples, apricots or avocados first. Then the bananas, beans, beets next. By LMNO, she was usually full. At this rate, Trixie would never get to eat yams or zucchini again.

Etymology: Alphabet (a character set that includes letters and is used to write a language) & Dining (eating,consuming food)

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Safepecks

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: safe-pex

Sentence: After failing on both the Fatkins Diet and SlimFat, Louise tried practicing Safepecks, slowly nibbling on small bits of food. Unfortunately, for her, it only meant that it took her two hours to finish off the entire pizza.

Etymology: safe sex, peck

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COMMENTS:

It's important to use condiments. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 05:56:00

especially if you're a dominoatrix - galwaywegian, 2007-06-20: 06:41:00

You guys are hot and cheesy today! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 06:49:00

Saucy, even. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:08:00

petaj Pizza with condiments - sounds like sheaths on toast. The Welsh like a rarebit, and salesmen like to celibate. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 08:24:00

Louise was a Pizza Slut. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:54:00

A crusty, hand-tossed Pizza Slut. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 17:23:00

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Chompeculiarity

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: chomp + peculiarity

Sentence: He's got some chompeculiarities, for instance, he squishes his bread flat before eating it.

Etymology: chomp + peculiarity

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Grazecraze

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: grayze/crayze

Sentence: The latest diet endorsed by leading experts was the grazecraze which involved eating small amounts of food all day whenever one felt the urge - usually by nibbling bits of everyone elses snacks. The guy in the comic has been on the diet for a month and is pissed off that the girl is licking his next snack.

Etymology: graze (forage) + craze

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COMMENTS:

Grazey, man, grazey. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:12:00

I've been ruminating on this. Bet I cud lose weight this way. Anybody got a Moo Pie? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:43:00

you guys aren't going to milk this are you? - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 09:00:00

Not me - I lactose kind of comments. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:09:00

you udder yet another pun! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:17:00

I'm gonna bovine another thing to do on the internet. i swear. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

Fine! Beef that way! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:20:00

goodness grazeious - great bulls of fire - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:24:00

Bullocks! Another freakin' song! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:38:00

cattle be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:50:00

Yep, til the cows come home. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:15:00

I got temporarily logged off - cow'd that happen? - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 10:41:00

Dangus thing I ever herd of! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:56:00

Maybe it just happens heifery so often? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 11:03:00

you guys are just so clheifer. I calf never laughed so herd - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:32:00

I like this brand of humor, it eases my moosery. - Alchemist, 2007-06-20: 14:44:00

well moosery does love cowpany - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 15:25:00

Hey! All this cow talk just reminded me that I need to send for the tickets to the annual Cow Flop. Thanks! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 15:53:00

I calfn't had so much pun in ages - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 16:40:00

I believe the word is "Cowabunga!" - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 17:12:00

can you stop punning??....i bet your not cowpabull...go on...i dairy you - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 18:12:00

Never! I won't cow-tow to the likes of you! (I mean that in a nice way.) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 18:26:00

petaj I bet 5 bucks that we cowd goat on forheifer. But maybe it's time to steer the topic away. Can you ranch yourself away from cattle? No more sheep laughs at the cow's expense. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:19:00

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Idiosyncaloric

Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: id-eo-sin-ca-lore-ic

Sentence: Her eating regimen was very idiosyncaloric - it insisted she only consume dairy and candy.

Etymology: IDIOSYN (from idiosyncratic - peculiar to the individual) + CALORIC

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COMMENTS:

sounds good to me - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 12:45:00

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Gorgery

hooterbug

Created by: hooterbug

Pronunciation: ˈgȯrj-rē

Sentence: Alice was a master of Gorgery. She figured 5 licks off of a Chicago Deep Dish Pizza slice would equate to only 3 hours on the Stairmaster tonight. Well, 2 if you dont swallow the flavorful spit.

Etymology: Blend of "Gorge" An instance of gluttonous eating + "Forgery" to make or imitate falsely with intent to defraud

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-20: 01:30:00
Today's definition was inspired by Robert J. Sawyer's Rollback. It may be science fiction, but when Rob gets rolling you can't help but laugh at the details of our daily lives -- like eating pizza. Rollback's pizza moment starts off with, "She was used to the way her husband ate pizza, but couldn't actually say she liked it", and then jumps right into the gory details. Thanks Rob! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-20: 04:41:00
This summer it's Double Verbotomy with Verbotomy Text and Verbotomy Classic. Get the details: Double Verbotomy for the Summer Season.