Verboticisms

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: od bal EE mee ah

Sentence: Candy can't understand why she can't lose weight. She scrupulously avoids starches after 5:00 pm ("it turns right to fat"). She always carefully counts her daily calories. She eats lots of celery ("it takes more calories to digest it than it has in it, so that's negative calories"). She also eats a lot of spicy foods too ("that revs your metabolism and burns more calories"). Of course, drinks don't really count because they are mostly water; the same goes for soup. And everyone knows that the bites you take while you're cooking, to "taste test" the food, don't count. She does eat whatever is left on her kids' plates, but those calories don't count either because she eats standing up.

Etymology: oddball + bulimia

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Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: uhn - noh - reh - klehk - sha

Sentence: Dianne's unoreclexic behavior has led a lot of unoreclexia believers and a lot of doctors to question her reasons for her peculiar diet. She'd rather drink a soda through the nose or die. Upon hearing this, one particular doctor-- Dr. Pepper-- went mad.

Etymology: un [opposite of] + anorexia [loss of appetite and inability to eat] + eclectic [choosy; discriminating]

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ryte stuf fing

Sentence: Ava Dupois had developed a system called ritestuffing to try and watch her calories. If she ordered a big juicy hamburger with all the trimmings, she would be sure to order a diet soda with which to wash it down. Her logic being that the no calories in the soda would counteract the many calories of the burger. In her mind, you could undo all the harm that your favourite fatty foods might do simply by counterbalancing with non-caloric foods. By the same ritestuffing philosophy, she'd eat apple pie with low-cal frozen yogurt on top;mix rum with diet Coke; wash down chocolate cake with skim milk and eat French fries with diet ketchup. She dreamed she could market her philosophy and become the next big diet guru to make a fortune. Move over Jenny Craig and WeightWatchers! Although mentally she felt skinnier using ritestuffing, for some reason, she was having problems fitting into her clothes. This of course she put down to the theory of the dreaded shrinkhangers that lurked in her closet.

Etymology: Rite (ritual,of or relating to or characteristic of religious rituals; any customary observance or practice)& Stuffing (overeating or eating immodestly; make a pig of oneself; fillng completely)& The Right Stuff (You've got what it takes, and then some!)

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COMMENTS:

Goddess of glee! Pasha of puns! Ava Dupois, INDEED! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-13: 03:33:00

Very nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-13: 18:23:00

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Created by: airliebee

Pronunciation: gluh-tee-kett

Sentence: Michelle ate each pea, each grain of rice and each lentil individually, with chopsticks, observing carefully the gluttocol of her gluttiquette. Afterwards, she rewarded herself for her excellent adherence with a big bowl of choc-chip caramel swirl extra-sugar superfudge ice-cream, eaten with a fork whilst standing up so that the calories were cancelled out. See also: Gluttocol, the rules of gluttiquette.

Etymology: gluttony + etiquette. (gluttocol = gluttony + protocol)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: grayze/crayze

Sentence: The latest diet endorsed by leading experts was the grazecraze which involved eating small amounts of food all day whenever one felt the urge - usually by nibbling bits of everyone elses snacks. The guy in the comic has been on the diet for a month and is pissed off that the girl is licking his next snack.

Etymology: graze (forage) + craze

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COMMENTS:

Grazey, man, grazey. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:12:00

I've been ruminating on this. Bet I cud lose weight this way. Anybody got a Moo Pie? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:43:00

you guys aren't going to milk this are you? - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 09:00:00

Not me - I lactose kind of comments. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:09:00

you udder yet another pun! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:17:00

I'm gonna bovine another thing to do on the internet. i swear. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

Fine! Beef that way! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:20:00

goodness grazeious - great bulls of fire - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:24:00

Bullocks! Another freakin' song! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:38:00

cattle be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:50:00

Yep, til the cows come home. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:15:00

I got temporarily logged off - cow'd that happen? - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 10:41:00

Dangus thing I ever herd of! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:56:00

Maybe it just happens heifery so often? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 11:03:00

you guys are just so clheifer. I calf never laughed so herd - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:32:00

I like this brand of humor, it eases my moosery. - Alchemist, 2007-06-20: 14:44:00

well moosery does love cowpany - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 15:25:00

Hey! All this cow talk just reminded me that I need to send for the tickets to the annual Cow Flop. Thanks! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 15:53:00

I calfn't had so much pun in ages - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 16:40:00

I believe the word is "Cowabunga!" - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 17:12:00

can you stop punning??....i bet your not cowpabull...go on...i dairy you - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 18:12:00

Never! I won't cow-tow to the likes of you! (I mean that in a nice way.) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 18:26:00

I bet 5 bucks that we cowd goat on forheifer. But maybe it's time to steer the topic away. Can you ranch yourself away from cattle? No more sheep laughs at the cow's expense. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:19:00

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: posh/nosh

Sentence: She would only eat food worthy of her position. Her poshnosh habit unforunately only involved rich food

Etymology: posh nosh

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like her tastes were Victorian. Hmm is that the dinner bell Beckhaming? - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:23:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: GORJ-eh-mone-ey

Sentence: Clarissa is a gorgemony devotee who engages in a ritualistic 'dining' wherein she endlessly and vigorously eats huge amounts of granola bars, a variety of nuts and dried fruits and other organic foods that she believes will insure her lasting health and vitality.

Etymology: Blend of the words 'gorge' (v. to stuff with food (usually used reflexively or passively) and 'ceremony' (n. any formal act or observance, especially a meaningless one)

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Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: kon-floom

Sentence: Diana was conflicted: she wanted to eat the battered Twinkie so much, but the wedding dress wasn't going to magically alter itself. So she conflumed the Twinkie and felt much better about life.

Etymology: conflict-consumed

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: veg/uh/bey/shun

Sentence: Vegebation is the peculiar ritual Jenny practises. She is a vegetarian who only drinks her food. She juicers all her vegetables and tofu together and drinks her meals. Vegebation is part of the 'X-Man' cultasy which proclaims that this activity will reduce the side effects of youthanesia and prevent wear and tear on teeth and reduce facial aging lines from chewing.

Etymology: VEGEBATION - noun - fro VEGETARIAN (a person who does not eat meat) + LIBATION (the act of drinking; the drinking of a liquid offering as a religious ritual)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent ento! At least she's not reduced to mastication. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-13: 03:36:00

Eggcellent - Mustang, 2008-08-13: 08:23:00

great combo - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-13: 10:27:00

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Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: nib-bles-and-bits

Sentence: Jill's dieting strategy consisted of nibbles-and-bits. Then for desert, a tasty milkbone.

Etymology: kibbles and bits/nibble

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