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'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Verboticisms

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Consuminad

Created by: missyfrose

Pronunciation: con-soo-min-ad

Sentence: That consuminad has some serious self-esteem issues. Don't consuminate to me, I'm not your therapist!

Etymology: consumer, inadequate

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Whinebuyer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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Cathareturn

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After the 100th complaint that someone's Mii didn't love them anymore, Best Buy set up a separate line for people wanting to cathareturn things, with a pyschology student running customer service.

Etymology: catharsis+return Noun: Cathareturner

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Harasshole

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /hah-ras-hohl/

Sentence: Oscar had plenty of cars he needed to work on today, but for twenty minutes now he'd been stuck listening to some harasshole complain that the forty thousand mile warranty on his wife's car tires 'under normal driving conditions' should cover her repeatedly running over curbs, because, he claimed, that's how she normally drives.

Etymology: harass - to torment, as with troubles or cares; pester; persecute (Middle French, harasser "to harry") + asshole - a stupid, mean, or contemptible person, [or a donkey's poopchute, perhaps?] (Origin: 1350–1400; Middle English, arshole "anus")

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COMMENTS:

How funny!!! I can't stop laughing! Love the word, sentence and the description. Good one! - bananabender, 2008-01-16: 05:50:00

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-16: 10:45:00

Funny and a great word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:23:00

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Caustomer

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaws-tuh-mer

Sentence: Jerry is perfect for the complaint department. He can tolerate the worst caustomer because he really believes that his opinion is the only one that counts.

Etymology: caustic (severely critical or sarcastic) + customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer)

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Cursetommer

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: kurs tom mer

Sentence: He returned the swearword dictionary with plenty of loud cursetommer. "What a cursetommer!" said the courtesy counter lady, "Why he probably wrote that book!"

Etymology: Interplay of curse and customer. Curse having the double meaning of (1)swearing (using bad negative words) or (2) casting a spell, usually an evil one. Customer meaning one who purchases goods or services.

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Conshrewmer

Created by: grohldberg12

Pronunciation: (Cun//shroo//mar)

Sentence:

Etymology: Consumer + Shrew

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Fusstomer

Created by: Dougalistic

Pronunciation: Fuss-to-merr

Sentence: He came over to me giving it all that' saying how he was going to nail my head to the floor, just because I couldn't give him a refund on those damm Haribo's. He was a complete fusstomer.

Etymology: Fuss - To make a nuisance or commotion (general annoying git) and Customer.

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COMMENTS:

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:24:00

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Bullygoat

Created by: bananabender

Pronunciation: bul / li / gote

Sentence: He ranted and raved about the "faulty" nose-hair clippers, complaining that no matter how many times he used them his hair kept growing back. He's such a bullygoat!

Etymology: Bull**** - nonsense, humbug / bully - a tyrannical blustering ruffian / goat - "get on one's goat" (coll) to annoy, also "act the goat" (coll) to behave foolishly

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COMMENTS:

"Damn Ram" said Nannygoat, "but I love that old Bullygoat! Clever! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 08:03:00

I like it! Seems to me that he very caprickious! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:27:00

Hey, that's it. That's what the guy in the picture kinda' looks like — a bleating goat! - Tigger, 2008-01-16: 21:02:00

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Tirate

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-01-16: 01:08:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-04-12: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James