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'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Verboticisms

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Whinebuyer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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Grobble

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: graw bul

Sentence: Every time he was displeased with a purchase, Mike would grobble about his difficult life.

Etymology: grob, n., a petty complaint issued by whiny lips and registered by those who don't know better.

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Buyerliar

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: byer lyer

Sentence: Randy could always tell when the full moon approached...all the buyerliars in town came into his store to vent their spleens.

Etymology: Buyer & Liar

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Crusstomer

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: cruss/tum/ur

Sentence: All clerks manning the crusstomer service counters should be equipped with IPODS playing soothing music with positive reinforcement lyrics.

Etymology: customer + crusty (irritable) + cuss (slang for curse)

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COMMENTS:

Shades of "Crusty the Clown." Nicely blended. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:53:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-11-14: 04:21:00

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Fauxnystud

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fo - nee - stud

Sentence: Once again Edmund displayed his fauxnystud persona by making a huge fuss over a very small problem wih a purchase.

Etymology: Fauxny(phony) + stud (macho guy)

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COMMENTS:

Roared with laughter ... good one! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 07:59:00

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Infermidate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: in-FIR-meh-dayt

Sentence: Waldo would try to infermidate customer service clerks with belligerently exaggerated complaints about products or services.

Etymology: Blend of 'infer' (to hint; imply; suggest)and 'intimidate' (to make timid; fill with fear)

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Caustomer

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaws-tuh-mer

Sentence: Jerry is perfect for the complaint department. He can tolerate the worst caustomer because he really believes that his opinion is the only one that counts.

Etymology: caustic (severely critical or sarcastic) + customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer)

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Cursetommer

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: kurs tom mer

Sentence: He returned the swearword dictionary with plenty of loud cursetommer. "What a cursetommer!" said the courtesy counter lady, "Why he probably wrote that book!"

Etymology: Interplay of curse and customer. Curse having the double meaning of (1)swearing (using bad negative words) or (2) casting a spell, usually an evil one. Customer meaning one who purchases goods or services.

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Counterattacker

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Cown-ter-at-aker

Sentence: Jerry was used to dealing with awkward customers, but when it came to Mr Pennyworth, the serial counterattacker, he was at a complete loss. Jerry dreaded the moment when he walked through the doors of his hardware shop. He never actually bought anything but he would continually come to the counter with various items and proceed to tell anyone who would listen that the products were inferior. He then ranted on that things were made to a much higher standard in his day and were made to last. Jerry was just grateful that Mr Pennyworth was well known for his rants all over town, and his other customers never took him seriously.

Etymology: Counter(a long flat-topped fitment over which goods are sold to customers) + Attacker(someone who takes agressive action) = Counterattacker

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COMMENTS:

Talk about a need for Counterintelligence! Good Word - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:43:00

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Cursetomer

Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: kursstəmər

Sentence:

Etymology: From 'customer' - a person or company that buys goods or services; and 'curse' or 'cuss' - to utter obscenities or profanities.

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COMMENTS:

Or, better still, 'cusstomer', where the 'cuss' is pronounced with extra hissing sound. - logarithm, 2008-11-17: 05:53:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-01-16: 01:08:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-04-12: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James