Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne styne

Sentence: Mrs. Gorgonzola was a real Whinestein. You know the type of customer we mean...one who complained about everything, was a retail snob and showed off her ignorance at the same time. Every week she entered the Gourmet Cheese Shoppe in the Mall called Cheese Louise. And every week she berated the owner, Louise, with her usual rants: "These Emmenthalers were no Gouda...I could barely Edam!"; "It's a Feta Accompli that this Roquefort will be Stilton my Children's Gruyereth!"; "Why is this Fontina the Mozza expensive cheese in the Store?"; "I simply Camembert to try the Chevre...it makes me Cheddar to think what's in it!" "Must they alwheys make Swiss Cheese with holes in it...what poor workmanship!";"My daughter, Velveeta, Brie-ds American Cheese Dogs and is Whey beyond her years!" and "Why does it always smell like milk gone bad in this Shoppe...couldn't you come up with a grater scent?" Louise would smile and nod and take her money, thinking to herself, I hate her, but I'm Fondue, my little greenbacks. Yes, Louise thought it appropriate to have a little Whine with her Cheese!

Etymology: Whine (to moan and complain in a plaintive manner) & Stein (a mug) & Einstein (a genius,someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality)

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COMMENTS:

You're examples are the best...a little cheesy, perhaps, but I've found none butter! - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

I meant your, not you're. - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

What a grate story. Lets Rock n Rocqefort!! - rombus, 2008-11-13: 12:53:00

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:49:00

Nothing like a fromage a trois! Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-11-14: 23:54:00

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Created by: Biscotti

Pronunciation: flus toh mer

Sentence: Working in retail, I've had many a flustomer in my face!

Etymology: Fluster (angry, upset) + Customer (one who buys things from someone else)

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Created by: courty3303

Pronunciation: sh-moo-sack

Sentence: I schmucacked that idiot.

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəbləstər

Sentence: The store wasn’t even open yet but there he was, Mr. Bellow. At least that’s what Carlos and his coworkers call him. He is full of custobluster, all too ready to scream and yell about whatever minor issue he could find. He doesn’t really worry Carlos that much. He can easily be distracted by the introduction of the newest ”shiny thing”.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + bluster (talk in a loud, aggressive, or indignant way with little effect)

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Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: lou-zer-air-er

Sentence: It never occurred to Melody that her computer problems might not actually be the fault of the poor guy at tech support who she berated daily. He tried, as politely as he could, to help her understand that her inability to turn on her computer was a losererror and not a hardware malfunction. Only after she accidentally stepped on the powerstrip and turned it back on did she stop calling the hapless support team.

Etymology: user error transformed into loser error.

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ahy-ur-BAHY-uhr

Sentence: Bob quickly became an irebuyer, scowling at the brow, when his local cheesemaker decided to decrease the size of the holes in the emmentaler.

Etymology: Conflation of IRE:anger, wrath, rage, & BUYER:purchaser, vendee, client

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COMMENTS:

Rhyming creations always ring my bell. Nice one! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 08:06:00

His argument definately had some holes in it. No holes in your word though! - bananabender, 2008-01-17: 02:27:00

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Created by: missyfrose

Pronunciation: con-soo-min-ad

Sentence: That consuminad has some serious self-esteem issues. Don't consuminate to me, I'm not your therapist!

Etymology: consumer, inadequate

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: kursstəmər

Sentence:

Etymology: From 'customer' - a person or company that buys goods or services; and 'curse' or 'cuss' - to utter obscenities or profanities.

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COMMENTS:

Or, better still, 'cusstomer', where the 'cuss' is pronounced with extra hissing sound. - logarithm, 2008-11-17: 05:53:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyn ex pert

Sentence: John came into the venders every week, bought 2 bottles of the chaepest plonk he could find and then complained about them next week. He was quite the whinexpert and grew so annoying, the finally barred him from the shop.

Etymology: Whine (complain in annoying manner) & Wordplay on Wine Expert (oenophile;connoisseur)

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