Verboticisms

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: fool-tide

Sentence: At 5:00 pm on October 31st the "fooltide carols" begin to work their voodoo on their unsuspecting targets. Accompanied by the glow and sparkle of lights and tinsel, and the lure of huge sales, the happy little tunes plant themselves in the brains of shoppers who wander trancelike through the aisles, knowing full well that they're destroying their credit rating, but unable to resist the hypnosis of the television commercials that even make buying a Lexus with a big red bow seem reasonable. At 12:00 noon on December 25 the music stops and everyone goes back to their lives as if nothing happened.

Etymology: wordplay on Yuletide -- fool: one who lacks good judgement; one acts unwisely on a given occasion + tide: time or season - most often used in combination such as yuletide or Christmastide

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Mez - mer - yool - eyezed

Sentence: Delbert and Glenda had become completely mesmeryuleized in their need to try to please so many people.

Etymology: Mesmerized + yule

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Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: con-soom-pul-shun

Sentence: (sung to The Christmas Song) Visa maxed out on some hopeless bling, Discover's reaching for the max you know it s been said many times many ways, Comesumepulsion's got you now...

Etymology: Consume!/Consumer + (com)pulsion

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Created by: Niktionary

Pronunciation: stoo-pen-r-us

Sentence: Once Max had taken a second loan on the house to send his daughter to Cancun for her Sweet Sixteen with her 19 year old boyfriend, he realized he may have been overly stupenerous

Etymology: Stupid+ generous+ spend

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Created by: thejoshinator

Pronunciation: Master-is-card-ing

Sentence: Jimmy was full of excitement about Christmas and had no care for money saving, so set out masteriscarding like mad.

Etymology: Mastercard+is, which shows the master is the card (master/is/card), which is like being a zombie, controlled by the credit card. 'Is' also makes the master the credit card owner, going crazy and carding (carding is using a credit card master/is/carding).

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [cheer-dik-shuhn]

Sentence: I realized I had a problem after my third hour in the shopping mall. I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept and I was dressed in the same velour track suit I had worn the day before. My cheerdiction was out of control. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to stay, and I knew I had a problem, but the cheerdiction kept me going. I could buy one more present, the perfect present, the sparkliest, most flawless, joy inducing present I had ever given.

Etymology: From "cheer" meaning to gladden or cause joy to and "addiction" meaning the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: STOOP-ih-max-ih-faction

Sentence: Ebinezer flung back the musty curtains and threw open the frosty windows which looked down upon the busy village street below. Pure snow slightly muffled the sound of silver sleighbells and cash registers, but gladdened the heart of the old ex-skinflint deep within him. Barely pausing for his boots and top hat, Ebinezer could not wait to immerse himself in this STUPEMAXIFACTION which seemed to fill everyone with the profound joy of giving which had eluded him for so long. Now if only that 48 inch plasma HDTV was still in the shop window.....Ho Ho HO !

Etymology: STUPEfy+MAXImize+satisFACTION= STUPEMAXIFACTION.....STUPEFY:to make stupid, groggy, or insensible,the state of being stupefied by intoxicants or pervasive jolliness; Middle English stupifien, modification of Latin stupefacere, from stupēre to be astonished + facere to make, do .....MAXIMIZE:the greatest quantity or value attainable or spent, an upper limit allowed (as by a legal authority or one's credit rating); Latin, neuter of maximus biggest.....SATISFACTION:the payment through penance of the temporal punishment incurred by a sin or excessive credit abuse, fulfillment of a need or want,no matter how costly,the quality or state of being satisfied, no matter how briefly; Sixties English,Can't get no,Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin satisfaction-, satisfactio, from Latin, reparation, amends, from satisfacere to satisfy.Hey Hey Hey.

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COMMENTS:

Is it Christmas yet? http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:32:00

Trusting a crackhead to do all your shopping...Obnoxious alkies who talk without stopping...Drunken pole dancers with gold nipple rings...These are a few of my favorite things. (not really) - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:49:00

That was an original MetrohumanX musical contribution. All together now... - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:51:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ew-burr-PLAS-tiss-ee-tee

Sentence: Roxie never put off till tomorrow buying what she could buy today. And she was never so happy than at Christmas time, when her uberplasticity 'maxed out' buying "happiness" for kith and kin.

Etymology: Combination of "UBER" in recent coinages extreme, over the top & beyond the norm + PLASTIC: "the plastic" slang term for a credit card + -ITY: state or condition. *

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: wassail

Sentence: Here we go a wassaling, among the deals so keen, and here we come a wandring back home venting spleen. Debt and woe, come to you and to you your wassale too. And God dammit, I've spent way too much again.. and God take me before the bill arrives.

Etymology: wassail + sale

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COMMENTS:

Ain't it great re-lyricking old carols! We should make a CD of New Old Carols with modern words....I can see them now stocked up beside Chia Pets in Walmart! - Nosila, 2008-12-17: 21:40:00

Dingdong merrily lay-by, All round the tills are ringing, Doggone verily we buy, our plastic cards aflinging. Gloria, how's Anna's debt extending? - petaj, 2008-12-18: 05:39:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: hälidāz

Sentence: From Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve Julie is in a holidaze, buying more than she can comfortably afford for family and friends. She wanders the mall chanting the mantra of the **don*t want to offend** crowd, **Happy Holidays**, daring not utter the word Christmas. By Christmas Day she is as surprised as the recipients with what she has bought. The trance is finally broken in January when the OMG bills arrive.

Etymology: holiday (a day of festivity or recreation when no work is done) + daze (make someone unable to think or react properly; stupefy; bewilder)

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