Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne styne

Sentence: Mrs. Gorgonzola was a real Whinestein. You know the type of customer we mean...one who complained about everything, was a retail snob and showed off her ignorance at the same time. Every week she entered the Gourmet Cheese Shoppe in the Mall called Cheese Louise. And every week she berated the owner, Louise, with her usual rants: "These Emmenthalers were no Gouda...I could barely Edam!"; "It's a Feta Accompli that this Roquefort will be Stilton my Children's Gruyereth!"; "Why is this Fontina the Mozza expensive cheese in the Store?"; "I simply Camembert to try the Chevre...it makes me Cheddar to think what's in it!" "Must they alwheys make Swiss Cheese with holes in it...what poor workmanship!";"My daughter, Velveeta, Brie-ds American Cheese Dogs and is Whey beyond her years!" and "Why does it always smell like milk gone bad in this Shoppe...couldn't you come up with a grater scent?" Louise would smile and nod and take her money, thinking to herself, I hate her, but I'm Fondue, my little greenbacks. Yes, Louise thought it appropriate to have a little Whine with her Cheese!

Etymology: Whine (to moan and complain in a plaintive manner) & Stein (a mug) & Einstein (a genius,someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality)

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COMMENTS:

You're examples are the best...a little cheesy, perhaps, but I've found none butter! - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

I meant your, not you're. - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

What a grate story. Lets Rock n Rocqefort!! - rombus, 2008-11-13: 12:53:00

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:49:00

Nothing like a fromage a trois! Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-11-14: 23:54:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: In-fur-gra-VAY-shun

Sentence: Hubert thought he was very clever in using the tactic of infergravation, making phony claims about his computer's performance, in an effort to intimidate the technician and qet quicker service.

Etymology: Blend of 'infer' (to hint; imply; suggest) and 'aggravation' (annoyance; exasperation)

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COMMENTS:

Good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:54:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaws-tuh-mer

Sentence: Jerry is perfect for the complaint department. He can tolerate the worst caustomer because he really believes that his opinion is the only one that counts.

Etymology: caustic (severely critical or sarcastic) + customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fo - nee - stud

Sentence: Once again Edmund displayed his fauxnystud persona by making a huge fuss over a very small problem wih a purchase.

Etymology: Fauxny(phony) + stud (macho guy)

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COMMENTS:

Roared with laughter ... good one! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 07:59:00

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Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: byer lyer

Sentence: Randy could always tell when the full moon approached...all the buyerliars in town came into his store to vent their spleens.

Etymology: Buyer & Liar

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Created by: courty3303

Pronunciation: sh-moo-sack

Sentence: I schmucacked that idiot.

Etymology:

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: creep/zoom/er

Sentence: The worst job at Sears is the product return desk which attracts one creepsumer after another.

Etymology: creep + consumer

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər

Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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