Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
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Apocalypstoicism
Created by: Trystera
Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"
Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.
Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism
Placidhead
Created by: toadstool57
Pronunciation: pla-sid-hed
Sentence: Dave had to be a placidhead because Jill was always chaotic.
Etymology: placid, acidhead
Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Catastaunch
Created by: ErWenn
Pronunciation: /kəˈtæˌstɔːntʃ/
Sentence: When calamity strikes, it's often surprising to see who steps up to catastaunch the flow of disaster; it's not always whom you expect.
Etymology: from catastrophe + staunch (meaning both "steadfast" and "to stop the flow of")
Browniejob
Created by: TimTheEnchanter
Pronunciation: BROW-nee-jahb
Sentence: When the massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles, the Governator refused to cancel his vacation to the Caribbean to help facilitate relief efforts, thus giving a big browniejob to the people of southern California.
Etymology: From the infamous pronouncement "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" by US President George W. Bush to FEMA director Mike Brown, whose organization was ineffective, bureaucratic, and just plain slow providing help to the people of New Orleans following the hurricane Katrina disaster. ALTERNATE/DISPUTED ETYMOLOGY: Refers to the victims of a disaster getting figuratively sh*t upon by the people in power who refuse to raise their energy level in the face of a crisis.
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COMMENTS:
BROWNIEJOB: damn straight! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:52:00
Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:25:00
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Methodicool
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: meth-odd-i-cool
Sentence: 007 was so methodicool that even in the midst of an attack by 500 professional bad guys he was able to remain calm and composed. Not only did he come up with a solution to destroy evil, kill all the bad guys and save the world; but his hair stayed perfectly in place the whole time, even in a Jaguar with the top down, making him even cooler and attractive to hot babes who wore bikinis to work.
Etymology: methodical: characterized by ordered and systematic habits or behavior + cool: marked by calm self-control; to be all that
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COMMENTS:
That's 007 - never shaken or stirred! - Nosila, 2009-11-26: 09:14:00
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Lexluthorian
Created by: whatley
Pronunciation: lecks-loo-thor-ee-an
Sentence: As Paris the city of lights burned in the distance Bob remained lexluthorian, loading up the water, guns, and antibiotics before heading into town to look for survivors
Etymology: 1938 - Eng. "Lex Luthor" like. Lex Luthor never panicked, even when a 6 foot tall invincible flying man was kicking down the 4 foot thick steel door to his lair. He just got out the kryptonite and chilled.
Crisystematic
Created by: libertybelle
Pronunciation: cry-sis-tim-at-tick
Sentence: Being a trauma physician with OCD, Dr. Bank was very crisystematic; he would literally pull a flow chart out of his lab coat for each and every code blue that he worked on. You would think after 20 years of practice he would rely on his memory for some of it. True Story!!
Etymology: crisis + systematic
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COMMENTS:
Also - this illustration made me lol this morning! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:34:00
good one! - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00
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Turtaculous
Created by: vetmommy2
Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss
Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)
Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...
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COMMENTS:
Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James