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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Connixion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon iks eon

Sentence: Although she had been advised to do so, Marianne was reluctant to install another connixion to slow down her computer.

Etymology: Connexion ( the process of bringing ideas or events together in memory or imagination) & Nix (nothing;a quantity of no importance)

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Blindupdate

Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: blīndŭp-dāt'

Sentence: Similar to that uneasy feeling you get when one of your friends sets you up he was nervous going into the blindupdate. He was worried that it would result in the same kind of feeling he had on his last blind date - will it ever end!?

Etymology: blind date - a social engagement between two persons who have not previously met, update - the act of instance of bringing something up to date

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Floptimize

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: flop-tim-eyes

Sentence: The decision to floptimize my computer was a wrong one, seeing as it can now barely perform addition.

Etymology: Flop-optimize

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COMMENTS:

It was either this or stoptimize - FreakyDeak, 2010-09-08: 02:53:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-09-08: 08:57:00

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Grimstallation

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Grim-staw-lay-shun

Sentence: Since having his computer installed with the latest upgrade, Tom couldn't believe how slow it was. He came to the conclusion that it had suffered a grimstallation and immediately called the 'experts' back in to sort out the problem.

Etymology: Grim(unfavourable, not good) + Installation(a set up of a program added to a computer) = Grimstallation

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COMMENTS:

Great Create! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:48:00

hopefully he didn't call the brothers grimstallation company - they aren't noted for their sense of humour - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:50:00

Tom no doubt grimbled about that mess. - Mustang, 2009-02-23: 18:07:00

Great word! - splendiction, 2009-02-23: 21:27:00

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Upstallation

BitCrack

Created by: BitCrack

Pronunciation: like installation, with up at the beginning.

Sentence: "watch out man, that Starcraft patch gave me some major upstallation"

Etymology:

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Useupgrade

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: use/up/grade

Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.

Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Heinrich cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of executable and dysfunction, a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Hahahaahah...Heinrich! das ist GUT! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:55:00

Killer creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:49:00

Hee! Hee! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 18:55:00

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Scupperdate

Created by: muffinman

Pronunciation: Scup-per-date

Sentence: n. My computer went into meltdown last night after that Windows scupperdate started by itself. v. Windows started scupperdating my laptop last night because I left it to restart by mistake.

Etymology: Scupper + update = scupperdate

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James