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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Vaiogra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vai ou gra

Sentence: Minnie knew she had used too much vaiogra to upgrade her computer's performance. It had been more than four hours since she had not been able to turn off the computer and so it was now time to head to the PC emergency ward, before her terminal became terminal.

Etymology: Vaio ( a sub-brand used for many of Sony's computer products. Originally an acronym of Video Audio Integrated Operation, this was amended to Visual Audio Intelligent Organizer in 20080 & Viagra (virility drug (trade name Viagra) used to treat erectile dysfunction in men)

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Freezedrived

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: freez - drivd

Sentence: My booting has become freezedrived ever since I applied the latest microstall patch. I now have a slowseepeeyou, a lockedclock and my ram butts badly.

Etymology: Freeze + Drive(as in Hard Drive) also play on "freeze dried" >> Freeze (Stop moving or become immobilized) Drive (computer hardware that holds and spins a magnetic or optical disk and reads and writes information on it) Freeze Dried (The substance is frozen and then dried in a vacuum)

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COMMENTS:

Each verbotomy made me laugh more! Super Duper! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:51:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:48:00

Stupendous! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:25:00

PCU around...good word! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:45:00

Really good word. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-24: 07:58:00

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Bugfixative

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: bug-fix-a-tiv

Sentence: Help Desk? Have you tried turning it off and on? Yes, but that last patch you pushed out has caused by beetle screensaver to become stuck and I can't do anything! Help! You'll have to go online and log a job to review the bugfixative, then we can address it. But, I can't do anything, not even go online to log a job.

Etymology: bug fix (patch) + fixative (glue, adhesive to hold everything firmly in place, makes things stick)

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: uhp grayd

Sentence: she started the upgrade five hours and the screen was still upgreyed.

Etymology: upgrade greyed

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Adopeytablet

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Ah : dope : ee : tab : let

Sentence: It was no flash in the pan, Kernal Panic thought as he looked blankly at the draped screen on his new Adopeytablet. The last time this happened they told me it would be the last time this happened, so the Kernals recursion relationship with technology trundled on. I guess that's some kinda feedback loop or loop-the-loop.

Etymology: A : indefinite article : Dopey : drugged up or slow dwarf : Tablet : Pill, may be screened (6 letters). Pun on Adobe : A byword for nightmareish yet essential software, bring a tonne of RAM.

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: up graeed

Sentence: the upgrade upgreyed

Etymology: upgrade greyed out

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Appallingvista

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: app awl ing vissssssss ta

Sentence: Her laptop had become so snooty since the appalingvista, it wouldn't let her communicate with any of the "older crowd"

Etymology: appalling vista, windows vista

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COMMENTS:

Aw shucks. Her old night in shining amor got lap lanced by her laptop! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:14:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James