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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Appallingvista

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: app awl ing vissssssss ta

Sentence: Her laptop had become so snooty since the appalingvista, it wouldn't let her communicate with any of the "older crowd"

Etymology: appalling vista, windows vista

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COMMENTS:

Aw shucks. Her old night in shining amor got lap lanced by her laptop! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:14:00

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Busplug

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: Just the way it looks...

Sentence: Rondo fancied himself a computer expert. When he "helped" Lulu upgrade her purloined laptop by downloading the approved version of "service pack 5", he inadvertently created a BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" so popular in the last century. Rondo's motives were pure, and he offered to buy Lulu a donut and help her "work it out"....even if it took all night!

Etymology: BUS+PLUG=BUSPLUG(busplugged, busplugging).....BUS:In computer architecture, a bus is a subsystem that transfers data between computer components inside a computer or between computers......PLUG:a piece used to fill a hole, a stopper, an obtruding or obstructing mass of material resembling a stopper, any of various devices resembling or functioning like a plug, a male fitting for making an electrical connection to a live circuit by insertion in a receptacle.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Sorry about this one, gang. I just couldn'r resist it.... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:30:00

Hope he has some Viaoagra - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 00:46:00

metrohumanx While tecnically inaccurate, i just went with it because it was slopping over with subtlety and nuance... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 01:01:00

Naughty but good, so will cut you some slaxative! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:20:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:09:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

WHY doesn't this site pick up the entire comment instead of just parts...???? Ugh - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

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Scupperdate

Created by: muffinman

Pronunciation: Scup-per-date

Sentence: n. My computer went into meltdown last night after that Windows scupperdate started by itself. v. Windows started scupperdating my laptop last night because I left it to restart by mistake.

Etymology: Scupper + update = scupperdate

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Brad cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of 'executable' (An executable file is a file that is used to perform various functions or operations on a computer) and 'dysfunction' (when something doesn't operate normally), a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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Vistahault

Created by: coachcorrie26

Pronunciation: Vista (windows operating system) hault (to stop)

Sentence: Please do not update my laptop online with all that lollygagging nonsense because it can cause a "vistahault" and crash my entire system!

Etymology: vista (meaning beautiful/wonderful view - my beautiful/wonderful computer's view through the monitor via hard-drive) will hault (stop) running and crash my entire system!

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Upstall

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: up-stall

Sentence: I just upstalled that emergency patch, and it slowed to a crawl, before throwing an out of memory error and rebooting.

Etymology: Upgrade (load a new version) + stall (slow down or stop)

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: up graeed

Sentence: the upgrade upgreyed

Etymology: upgrade greyed out

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James