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'I guess I'll do a little window shopping...'

DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.

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Verboticisms

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Clothesualty

Created by: BSqueeze4

Pronunciation: Clothes-soo-all-tee

Sentence: After seeing the man sitting outside the dressing room with eight shirts in his hands, I knew he was a total clothesualty.

Etymology: Clothes+casualty

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Poutfit

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Pow-t-fit

Sentence: After trying on several different dresses, fourteen pairs of shoes and tried a number of handbags to see if they matched, Sarah had still not managed to settle for any of them. Frank had been waiting for two hours and was having a serious poutfit, he had promised his mates he would meet them down the pub and wanted to get there before they gave up on him and headed home. He was thinking of faking some sort of fit so that they get out of the place once and for all.

Etymology: Pout(to push one's lips forward as an expression of petulant annoyance) + Outfit(a set of clothes worn together) + Fit(a sudden attack of convulsions) = Poutfit

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Poor Frank ! He just has to learn a little patience. two hours is just considered a warm-up. Hahahah - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 01:21:00

so many funny words today - isn't there a store called Urban Poutfitters - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:07:00

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Shoperfunctorate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate

Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.

Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.

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COMMENTS:

I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00

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Anticapprasion

Created by: SethelMerman

Pronunciation: An-tiss-uh-pray-shun

Sentence: Thinking of his credit card bill and the countless bags from Macy's, passed the time during his anticappraision.

Etymology: From (anticipation: in waiting) + (appraise: judge value)

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Gapetient

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Manopause

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: man - oh - pause

Sentence: Fred was going through manopause today. He started to sweat, have hot flashes and get overemotional as he waited in the sun for 3 hours while Margaret tried on dresses.

Etymology: menopause (a change of life time period where women have many intersting symptoms) + man (a different kind of manopause)..... + pause (to stop or wait)

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Vapidrift

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: VAY-pih-DRIFT

Sentence: Lawrence could not bring himself to follow his wife into the Aromabody Boutique, even to dampen her urge to spend,spend, spend. Instead , he chose voluntary exile to the mallhall, where he would VAPIDRIFT with the herd of patient husbandry, a hundred-meter stare in his glazed eyes. Teen girls, ancient immigrants and momshoppers piloting triple tandem strollers jockeyed around him as he waited for the prized seat on a hard plastic bench. Time stretched to infinity as other VAPIDRIFTERS milled around in their assigned areas - no more than ten steps from the entrance, but not too close to the semi-erotic manneqins in the windows of BarnDress Woman discount plus-size fashion emporium. There would be no mercy for the man who wandered away. Lawrence checked his watch for the umpteenth time, resigned to his fate as a docile consumer support unit.

Etymology: VAPId+DRIFT=VAPIDRIFT.....Vapid: lacking liveliness, tang, briskness, or force- Latin vapidus flat-tasting; akin to Latin vappa flat wine and perhaps to Latin vapor steam......DRIFT:something driven, propelled, or urged along or drawn together in a clump by or as if by a natural agency- Middle English; akin to Old English drīfan to drive.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx We regret the passing of Laurence Urdang. 1927-2008 - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:49:00

how tragic - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00

Another great word and real-life story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:59:00

metrohumanx Some day, lad...all this will be yours. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:37:00

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Mallinger

Created by: kabloozie

Pronunciation: Mahl-LING-er

Sentence: Two hours after the Wife entered Old Navy, Bob was seen in the food court, mallingering on the cement bench with an empty bag of Cinnabons.

Etymology: Mall: a large retail complex with no hardware stores. Linger: to pass time in a tedious manner.

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COMMENTS:

wow. my first verboticism....sniff. - kabloozie, 2007-09-26: 02:26:00

petaj It's a good one too. No auto parts stores in a Mall either. - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:44:00

good start! - galwaywegian, 2007-09-26: 07:22:00

wow - what a debut!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:42:00

Perhaps Bob should have lingered in lingerie boutique. Might not have been so teduous for him ! Good start:good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:44:00

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Browdle

Created by: legalalien

Pronunciation: BROW-dle

Sentence: Although Tiffany promised that it would only be a 3 minute ("I swear, you can time me!") detour into the Sephora store, Hank was left with nothing to do but browdle myriad products whose use he could not fathom.

Etymology: browse (look through or glance at casually) + dawdle (to waste time; idle; trifle; loiter)

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:08:00

Lovely word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 01:06:00

metrohumanx Like it! One can only sympathise with Hank. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:10:00

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Windowschlump

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: win - doe - shlump

Sentence: Whenever Minnie would involve herself shopping she did so in a dedicated fashion that left Monty to manage for himself and he would always windowschlump, mindlessly wandrering from store to store looking at the displays.

Etymology: Blend of 'window' and 'schlump' (to loaf or idle)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I've seen a clump of WINDOWSCHLUMPS, and shuffled right along. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:54:00

very descriptive - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00

Ah, Metrohx: you better tell Monty where the store with the 'semi erotic mannequins' is situated. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 01:05:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-26: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James

metrohumanx metrohumanx - 2008-08-27: 00:50:00
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?

galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-08: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James