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'I guess I'll do a little window shopping...'

DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.

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Shoperfunctorate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate

Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.

Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.

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COMMENTS:

I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00

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Waitwatching

Created by: hgofom

Pronunciation: Just like it looks.

Sentence: My wife went into the mall and I was left waitwatching.

Etymology: While waiting, we wait, and we watch. There are also several puns and entendres in the word. One is a play on the diet popular with many women. Another is that while we wait we're not only people watching, but frequently looking at our watches. Also, waitwatch, waitwatcher, etc.

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Gaptive

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: gap/tiv

Sentence: He wanted to be at home watching the game but instead he was held gaptive at the Gap outlet

Etymology: gap + captive

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Windowschlump

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: win - doe - shlump

Sentence: Whenever Minnie would involve herself shopping she did so in a dedicated fashion that left Monty to manage for himself and he would always windowschlump, mindlessly wandrering from store to store looking at the displays.

Etymology: Blend of 'window' and 'schlump' (to loaf or idle)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I've seen a clump of WINDOWSCHLUMPS, and shuffled right along. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:54:00

very descriptive - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00

Ah, Metrohx: you better tell Monty where the store with the 'semi erotic mannequins' is situated. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 01:05:00

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Fundressing

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: funn dress sing

Sentence: I judged that the from the frost hardening on my spectacles that the hot redhead in the queue for the changing rooms was aware that she was being fundressed.

Etymology: undressing, fun

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COMMENTS:

I think I've fundrestimated all the weary shoppers - now I'm aware of the fundertones - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:40:00

that should be funderestimated - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:41:00

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Mallbearer

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: pawl-BAIR-uhr

Sentence: Bob confessed to friends that he would rather go to a funeral than be a mallbearer on one of Roxie's shopping trips.

Etymology: Blend of MALL: (as in shopping mall)mercantile establishment consisting of a carefully landscaped complex of shops representing leading merchandisers; & PALLBEARER: One of those who attend the coffin at a funeral; so called from the pall being formerly carried by them; PALL: lose interest or become bored with something or somebody; grim, gloomy, foreboding.

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:04:00

Ah, death by debit, all sales final, slashed prices, coffin up more cash...Debt of a Salesman! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:38:00

metrohumanx Bravo! More! More! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:35:00

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Mallancholy

Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: mahl-uhn-kuhl-eee

Sentence: Dave went mallancholy as he stood holding Debra's handbag at the Emasculation Station outlet store.

Etymology: mall + melancholy

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 11:50:00

Seems as if Dave got himself into a eunuch predickament. Might decide to keep the handbag! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 22:19:00

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Gapetient

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Malloiter

Created by: apathy42

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Mandroid

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mandroid

Sentence: Whenever Cindy goes shopping, her boyfriend becomes her mandroid. He becomes a purse-holding, head-nodding, cart-pushing robot. He will spout pre-determined phrases like ”that looks great on you” or ”no, that’s not too much to spend if you really like it”.

Etymology: man (an adult human male) + android (a robot with a human appearance)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-26: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James

metrohumanx metrohumanx - 2008-08-27: 00:50:00
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?

galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-08: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James