Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Shoperfunctorate
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate
Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.
Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.
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COMMENTS:
I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00
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Purchiatus
Created by: Pseudonym
Pronunciation: pur-chai-ay-tuss
Sentence: "Sorry, I can't meet you at the bar right now, I'm on a purchiatus."
Etymology: purchase + hiatus
Gapetient
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: gape.shunt
Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.
Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!
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COMMENTS:
Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00
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Fundressing
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: funn dress sing
Sentence: I judged that the from the frost hardening on my spectacles that the hot redhead in the queue for the changing rooms was aware that she was being fundressed.
Etymology: undressing, fun
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COMMENTS:
I think I've fundrestimated all the weary shoppers - now I'm aware of the fundertones - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:40:00
that should be funderestimated - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:41:00
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Mallschlump
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: mawl-shlump
Sentence: While most men might get fidgety when their wives browse thru the stores, Marty takes great delight in an opportunity to just mallschlump, wherein he'll cruise around from business to business checking out babes, window displays and oddball people.
Etymology: blend of words 'mall' (n. large retail complex containing a variety of stores and often restaurants ) and 'schlump' (v. to loaf or idle)
Masterwait
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: mas/ter/weyt
Sentence: To keep her happy, he goes along shopping and masterwaits patiently for her while she tries on every pair of shoes in the store.
Etymology: MASTERWAIT - verb - from MASTER (a person who commands, or is in charge and of course SHE is) + WAIT (to be patient and remain neglected for a time)
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COMMENTS:
that's why guys wear such bulky overcoats - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:04:00
He thinks it's the best way to achieve "masterpeace" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:49:00
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Nonnonaye
Created by: wordslikevenom
Pronunciation: Non-non-eye
Sentence: Dave stood by the shop's front entrance and watched mournfully as his missus sailed past the lingerie section onto the comfy cardy department. Turning to face the street, his inner Hefner began selecting new recruits for his imaginary bunny girl club, nonnonaying each young lass as she passed by. "Non ... non ... aye"
Etymology: Non - No (French). Aye - Yes (English; dialect North of the Watford Gap)
Betrudge
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: bih-truhj
Sentence: When Jill wants to go shopping she likes to take Tom with her. She'll bounce from store to store like a lioness on a hunt. He'll betrudge along behind her like a trailer with flat tires. They've been together long enough that he knows when to nod and when to grunt something like "That look great on you".
Etymology: begrudge (to be reluctant to give, grant, or allow) + trudge (to walk, especially laboriously or wearily)
Chickpick
Created by: purpleartichokes
Pronunciation: chik-pik
Sentence: While Sue was in the dressing room, Bob bided his time with a chickpick session. The first object of his scrutiny was slightly plump, but had nice hair. The second had a nice body, but egad, that eye brow ring had to go! The third had it all going for her, except for the fact that she talked through her nose. The fourth...
Etymology: nit pick, chick
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COMMENTS:
a chick picnic - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:45:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?
galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James