Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Created by: eulogy

Pronunciation: shah-pit-you-late

Sentence: I can't go golfing.. I already promised the wife I'd go shopitulate at the mall with her this afternoon.

Etymology: Combination of "shop" and "capitulate" which is pretty much what happens. You know what I'm talking about.

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COMMENTS:

Nice one - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:38:00

Greater love has no man than that he give up his golf for his wife! Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:49:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gye browz

Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.

Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)

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COMMENTS:

You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00

How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: ˈkash trāt

Sentence: Leonard always felt cashtrated at the mall whilst his girlfriend Amanda took charge of his credit card and tossed him like a hangar in the dressing home

Etymology: cash ( currency, money) + castrate (to emasculate, deprive vigor)

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COMMENTS:

That's why they call money geld! - Nosila, 2012-11-02: 19:27:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: pawl-BAIR-uhr

Sentence: Bob confessed to friends that he would rather go to a funeral than be a mallbearer on one of Roxie's shopping trips.

Etymology: Blend of MALL: (as in shopping mall)mercantile establishment consisting of a carefully landscaped complex of shops representing leading merchandisers; & PALLBEARER: One of those who attend the coffin at a funeral; so called from the pall being formerly carried by them; PALL: lose interest or become bored with something or somebody; grim, gloomy, foreboding.

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:04:00

Ah, death by debit, all sales final, slashed prices, coffin up more cash...Debt of a Salesman! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:38:00

Bravo! More! More! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:35:00

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Created by: Pseudonym

Pronunciation: pur-chai-ay-tuss

Sentence: "Sorry, I can't meet you at the bar right now, I'm on a purchiatus."

Etymology: purchase + hiatus

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: chik-pik

Sentence: While Sue was in the dressing room, Bob bided his time with a chickpick session. The first object of his scrutiny was slightly plump, but had nice hair. The second had a nice body, but egad, that eye brow ring had to go! The third had it all going for her, except for the fact that she talked through her nose. The fourth...

Etymology: nit pick, chick

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COMMENTS:

a chick picnic - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:45:00

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Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: mann-tuh-vawl

Sentence: Gideon had grown used to waiting outside of the changing rooms in women's shops. In fact he had learnt to almost enjoy mantervals and began to use the time more productively. Instead of spending hours on end waiting by racks of frocks staring at his shoes like he used to, he now uses being surrounded by women to his benefit. Gideon has picked up some of the most amazing make-up tips, he's learnt how to deal with period pain and can now tell the difference between shampoo and shower gel which he, like most men, previously believed were inter-changeable. The list goes on...

Etymology: Man (male adult human) + interval ( intervening period of time)

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Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: mahl-uhn-kuhl-eee

Sentence: Dave went mallancholy as he stood holding Debra's handbag at the Emasculation Station outlet store.

Etymology: mall + melancholy

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 11:50:00

Seems as if Dave got himself into a eunuch predickament. Might decide to keep the handbag! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 22:19:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: flea-mar-ket

Sentence: Kevin had a low tolerance for shopping with his girlfriend. Within 2 minutes of waiting for her to inspect the goods, he was toe tapping, within 5 minutes he was watch watching, by 10 minutes he was fleemarketing.

Etymology: flee (depart, leave, escape from) + market (shop) + fleamarket (a type of market that one can spend hours picking over bargains)

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COMMENTS:

good one! - remistram, 2007-09-26: 09:33:00

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