Verboticism: Fastediouswipers

'The victim of an extremely vicious browbeating'

DEFINITION: n. Annoying neighbors who spend endless hours mowing their lawns, painting their fences, washing their cars, and browbeating you because you have a life. v. To express disapproval for someone's lifestyle.

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Skullandcrossjones

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: skul and CROS joanz

Sentence: No matter how hard anyone on the court tried, they could never match the beauty and perfection of the Jones family's property. This was due to the fact that both Mr. and Mrs. Jones were retired landscapers, and each spent at least two hours a day working in the yard. To top it off, they went for walks each weekend in which they pointed to various sections of their neighbors' yards and whispered to one another, apparently identifying flaws and not bothering to conceal their disapproval. Some of the court's residents had nearly killed themselves trying to keep up with the Joneses, to no avail. The neighborhood atmosphere became so toxic that after a while, everyone started referring to them as "Mr. and Mrs. Skullandcrossjones."

Etymology: Jones, as in "keeping up with the Joneses" + skull-and-crossbones (a picture of the human skull above two crossed bones, now used as a warning of poison, danger or death)

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COMMENTS:

jollyroger over and out! - Nosila, 2010-09-28: 19:44:00

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Hoodhogs

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: hood-hawgz

Sentence: Patience had endured enough. She was exhausted from the nightly raids by her nebby neighbors, Neil and Nosy Parker. They pruned, they plowed, they picked. What deadheads! So what if her dog peed all over her lawn--it was her lawn, wasn't it? And the world needed more nitrogen! Last night was the last straw. Patience had been awakened by the sound of the duo flooding her yard with water. She stood at her window and watched in astonishment. Obviously these hoodhogs were trying to dilute the urine. Then they began to root around, scraping up the dead grass, quietly bickering over whether it should be to a depth of one-quarter or one-half inch. In the morning she had found a note on her back door saying, "Now you may sow replacement grass."

Etymology: From HOOD, slang/contraction for neighborhood + HOGS, meaning greedy or selfish, also a play on pig, derogatory for police

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COMMENTS:

No doubt distant cousins of hedgeghogs? - Mustang, 2009-03-17: 22:57:00

All that grass and not a sharp blade in sight when you need it! - Nosila, 2009-03-17: 23:29:00

metrohumanx Hahahaha! Good word! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-18: 04:49:00

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Abuttinski

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ay but in skee

Sentence: In our sleepy suburban town, we had an abuttinski. She was Old Lady Burns, the bitter divorcee who lived next door to us and found fault with everything people did for enjoyment. She was the Neighbourhood Witch, the one who you could never please. If we didn't mow the lawn when she felt it needed it, she called the Noxious Weed Dept. If we did start up the mower to tackle the lawn, she called the Noise Abatement Dept. If our dog was out in our fenced off back yard, she called the Humane Society. We came this close to having to toilet train Sparky on the potty inside. If we even started up the barbecue, we would have to ensure we had enough food for the whole fire crew, as she would call them the minute we opened the lid. If we cooked something spicy, like curry, the HazMat Team was forced on the scene. The police practically lived on our street because she called them for everything from suspicious persons going door to door (like the paper boy and mailman) to recording license plates of vehicles not know to dwell on our street (like all these enforcement officers' vehicles from all the various city departments)and for attempted break-ins on her property (the gas meter reader,census-takers, the Avon lady). Reasoning, bribes,acts of kindness and inclusion,threats and logical persuasion all failed to change her behaviors. She was always in the right and she had her lawyer on speed-dial to launch suit over anyone who stood up to her underhanded, second-party bullying. She would hide in her house and have every civil servant at her beck and call to do her dirty work. Being self-righteous and thinking herself an upstanding and virtuous Christian, she did speak to every religion peddlar who came to her door. Many thought it poetic justice that the horrid smell coming from her home one day was due to the fact that one of these zealots had taken exception to her smug beliefs and bashed in her cranium several weeks before and helped himself to her valuables. The police, while appearing professional, were secretly glad she no longer controlled their work duties, so they could finally concentrate on real crimes; the Fire Dept. was relieved to have an opportunity to actually fight real fires elsewhere. The moral: if you are not nice to people, there will be no one around to close your lids when your time comes!

Etymology: Abut (lie adjacent to another or share a boundary) & Buttinski(a meddler who tends to butt in)

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COMMENTS:

Good one Nosila! :)You are a great writer! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-17: 01:37:00

metrohumanx I was just kidding about the brevity of "hydroflobia"....This is an excellent parable and one helluva mico-novel! I hope you're in charge of refreshments at the upcoming First Annual International Verbotomixer and Wordswap Extravaganza! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-17: 03:16:00

Amdire the way you captured that butt mentality! Great etymology. Terrific word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-17: 13:54:00

Cheers, all...sadly my sister and her family had to move far away from us to escape such a neighbour...coming home was the most stressful and scary part of their day, because she spent long hours plotting fresh Hell for them. This creature outlived every elected official we had and there is finally a cease and desist response in her flagged file to warn emergency services not to respond to her calls, as she became a permanent nuisance. Of course, charging her $250 for every wasted call went a long way to curbing her behavior! It is sad that someone has nothing better to do but terrorize others...personally I think she'd give the Guantanamo guys a run for their money! - Nosila, 2009-03-17: 23:40:00

My heart goes out to you and your sister and your families. I am so thankful that I have exceptionally good neighbors! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-18: 12:56:00

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Maintenazi

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: main-ten-a-tzi

Sentence: Tish liked her new neighborhood, however after a few days she began to notice a low pitched, constant hum. It sounded like lawn equipment. The droning never stopped. It was there on Sunday morning and Friday night at 2 am.-- all the time, really. Could it be that she had accidentally moved into a neighborhood run by Maintenatzis? Come to think of it, the woman across the street constantly raked and swept the street. Strange, what would she have to rake in January? Tish looked out the window -- she was out there sweeping. The woman's face was expressionless and her eyes seemed to focus on nothing as she swung her broom back and forth. Here husband was trimming his bushes. Each branch was perfectly trimnmed and all exactly the same size. Tish knew that Maintenazis were not people to be ignored, but who and what are these people she wondered. Just then she noticed the sound -- the lawn equipment -- was it getting closer?

Etymology: To enforce through intimidation lawncare maintenance by strict codes and ideology. Maintenazis are known to leave their homes only to go to Home Depot for more mulch.

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COMMENTS:

Welcome. Clever sentence and word. Well-crafted! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-17: 14:13:00

Good word and funny sentence. - kateinkorea, 2009-03-17: 20:03:00

metrohumanx Excellent and creepy story! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-18: 04:47:00

Excellent word...welcome! - mweinmann, 2009-03-18: 13:06:00

Great word...ve haf vays off making you look after your yard...it is called Lawn Order! - Nosila, 2009-03-18: 18:59:00

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Neighsaybor

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nāsābər

Sentence: Ray lives next to a neighsaybor. The rules in his community say that you need to get permission from the improvement committee before taking on any exterior home improvement project. With Ray’s ”buddy” on the committee, nothing ever gets done. The group once tried to change the one-member veto rule but they were vetoed.

Etymology: naysayer (somebody who says no, denies) + neighbor (a person living near or next door to the speaker or person referred to)

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COMMENTS:

oops! sorry. should have read before I submitted :( - galwaywegian, 2010-09-28: 09:38:00

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Naysaybours

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: nay say burz

Sentence: The final straw was when the naysaybours complained that her underwear was too loud

Etymology: neighbours naysayers

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COMMENTS:

Good one...was she from Nickeragua? - Nosila, 2010-09-29: 00:42:00

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Whoreticulturists

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hor tik kul tur ists

Sentence: When Suzy Floozie moved next door to Mona & Dick, she was always embarrassed that her yard did not look like theirs did...a cover of House & Gardens. Of course, they spent every waking moment outside weeding, watering, mowing and fertilising. They in turn found her lack of yardwork offensive. They noticed she was out all night, slept all day, not often alone and dressed scantily. They harassed and derided her at every turn and eventually attacked her. It appears that Mona & Dick were whoreticulturists and while being cuffed by the police, they shouted out "She should have been spade long ago!" and "The only Ho at work in her yard was her!" and "So much for Lawn Order!"

Etymology: Whore (hooker,streetwalker,prostitute,someone who exchanges sex for money) & Horticulturists (individuals who practice the cultivation of plants)

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COMMENTS:

Ho ,ho ho - galwaywegian, 2010-09-28: 03:19:00

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Neighbores

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nay borz

Sentence: Alice lived in an average urban housing tract of single family dwellings. She lived next door to that one couple on every block who spends every spare second out there tending their yard. These neighbores used scissors to eradicate every long single blade of grass. Their yard looked unnatural in its manicured state and even the bugs avoided it. Too bad they treated Alice and her country garden home with such disdain. They thought she was a hoe...

Etymology: Neighbors (persons who live near each other) & Bores (a person who evokes boredom;make a hole with a pointed power or hand tool)

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Domichiders

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: dome - chide - urs

Sentence: Lucy and Ken have become the domichiders of their neighboorhood. Everyone avoids them like the plague because they are constantly giving all the neighbors suggestions on how to improve their homes, yards and lives....

Etymology: domicile and chide

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COMMENTS:

Admire your sentence for the implied way domichiders reminds us of a spiders ... and both equally unwelcome! Greate create! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-17: 14:04:00

metrohumanx Very clever! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-18: 04:53:00

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Lifenvy

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: li-fen-vie

Sentence: Cam and Sylvia took their lifenviousness too far when they parked their truck on Trish's front lawn. She's never home to take care of her property anyway and she won't even notice it there.

Etymology: life + envy

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