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'What's with this stupid pen?'

DEFINITION: v., To search for and find a pen to write down an important note, only to discover that the pen does not work. n., A moment in time when the only pens you can find, are pens that do not work.

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Verboticisms

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Ballpointless

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bôlˌpoint lis

Sentence: Rusty had a wonderful idea. This happened so infrequently that it seemed imperative to write it down. He reached for a ballpointless pen and proceeded to do little more than tear a hole in a piece of paper. This whole exercise was ballpointless. He then had to try his entire collection of paper scratchers. As he looked at the advertising message on a pen and wondered where he had pilfered each one, the original thought he wanted to save for humanity slowly faded away, never to return.

Etymology: ballpoint (a pen with a tiny ball as its writing point) + pointless (having little or no sense, use, or purpose)

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Yeahuhholdonasec

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: yeah-uh-hold-on-a-sec

Sentence: Kimberly was in for a frustrating day when Zinnia traded all of her well-hydrated pens with their desiccated cousins from long forgotten junk drawers. Zinnia could hardly contain her amusement as Kimberly constantly yeahuhholdonasec'ed with customers placing large scale orders of sweaters.

Etymology: it's what you say on the phone when you can't find a pen

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Capentulate

Created by: mvsmyth

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Inkubaiter

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: eenk/u/bate/r

Sentence: Ralph could not sleep again. As usual he found himself up at 3:30 a.m. in front of the TV. Nothing but infomercials and shopping channels. Suddenly to his delight, there was a "Call in the next 15 minutes and get the entire set for just $199.99" announcement. He didn't really need anymore Star Trek paraphernalia, but who needs any in the first place, right? He got up off the couch and ran to the kitchen junk drawer for a pen, only to find when he got on the couch that he had grabbed nothing but an inkubaiter. As he ran back to the junk drawer for another writing instrument, he heard, "And that about does it. Our time is up. Live long and prosper!"

Etymology: *ink* bait:To entice, especially by trickery or strategy. (spinning of incubator)

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Impeniment

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: impenəmənt

Sentence: When Ralph saw the infomercial for the most wonderful thing he had even seen on late-night TV he just had to have it. As they displayed the phone number he frantically tried one impeniment after another. By the time he found one that worked they had moved on to products for incontinence. Ralph was pissed-off.

Etymology: impediment (a hindrance or obstruction in doing something) + pen (an instrument for writing or drawing with ink)

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COMMENTS:

thegoatisbad your sentence almost made me pee in my pants - thegoatisbad, 2010-03-03: 14:17:00

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Absinkia

Created by: Koekbroer

Pronunciation: ab-sink-ee-ya

Sentence:

Etymology: contraction of "absentia" and "ink"

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Pendicament

Created by: Eyeshah

Pronunciation: /pen-DIK-uh-mint/

Sentence: Pennelope found herself in quite the pendicament (quilemma) when her professor decided to give a pop quiz, and her backpack rummagings for a functional pen proved fruitless.

Etymology: pen+predicament=pendicament

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Bictimized

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: bik/tim/ized

Sentence: There were two signatories and two pens to choose from, one that had a grey cover and one that was clear with a reservior of blue ink showing through. He chose the clear pen and realized when he put the pen to paper with no result he'd been bictimized again.

Etymology: bic + victimized

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COMMENTS:

zxvasdf If you have been a bictim, raise your hand. - zxvasdf, 2008-10-03: 13:41:00

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Birony

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: by ro nee

Sentence: The birony was that when Eddie needed a pawn to record a message, he could never find one. Nevermind all his pens were MontBlanc's, Crosses and other expensive names, none worked properly, not even the uBICuitous free ones he collected!

Etymology: Biro (a pen that has a small metal ball as the point of transfer of ink to paper)& Irony ( incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs)

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Leftwritewrong

Created by: serickson

Pronunciation: left rite rong

Sentence: Mary, where is the pen I put here yesterday? What do you mean I didn't put it ther; of course I did. Here it is, what did I tell you! (Oh, shucks, I am definitely not telling Mary I'm having another leftwritewrong. It did too work when I put it there, and I do not have Alzheimer's!)

Etymology: leave-left-had left..to put something somewhere and let it stay there; write-right-rite..mantra spoken when looking for a pen; wrong..both you and the pen

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-11-06: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by vixphilia. Thank you vixphilia! ~ James'

OZZIEBOB - 2007-11-06: 16:53:00
Good word!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-03-03: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by vixphilia. Thank you vixphilia. ~ James

Petrikreink - 2020-03-03: 05:14:00