Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: doseydotes

Pronunciation: ˈgra-mər-ˈä-dər

Sentence: Jacob turned to his dad. “Me and Jim are going to the mall . . .” “Jim’s not mean,” Tim interrupted. “What?” Jacob asked. “Jim’s not mean. You said he was mean,” replied his dad. “Oh, DAD. JIM AND I are going to the mall,” said Jacob, exasperated. “Your dad is such a grammarauder,” whispered Jim. “TELL me about it,” grumbled Jacob.

Etymology: From the Greek, gram, meaning "really old lady with really good cookies"; from the Neptune, mer, meaning "handsome eunich water sprite"; from the Shyamalan, aud, meaning "strangeness bordering on scariness which is somehow still lucrative"; and from the Irish, er, a place-holder in speech which prevents others from talking while one thinks of something else to say.

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COMMENTS:

Sounds somehow familiar. And the obscure etymological sources from whence your creations spring never cease to amaze. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:58:00

marauder could be someone who goes in search of blunder - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:41:00

Grammatical Error - When Grandma screws up. Interesting blend. (Johnny Hart, The Book of Phrases - BC Comic Strip) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:10:00

Oh, that's my #1 pet peeve — when people say 'me and ' where they should say ' and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:01:00

That didn't show up right. I meant — when people say 'me and [so-and-so]' where they should say '[so-and-so] and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:03:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: cur-RECT-ALL-linguine

Sentence: Maxine and Clem were deeply in like. Clem was always sanguine and adored Maxine's crimson clothing and gutsy attitude. Maxine had moxie, but she was constantly irritated by Clem's use of the word "less" instead of "fewer". Maxine flew into a rage when she heard someone say "podiums" instead of the correct plural form, "podia"...Yes, Clem may have been an unsophisticated proto-boor, but Maxine was an unbearable CORRECTOLINGWEENIE -and an unwanted voluntary proofreader for all the world's bad grammar. When they inevitably broke up, Maxine found that she had less friends than before, and Clem had fewer fun, despite shaving off his sideburns and growing a unibrow.

Etymology: Okay, try to bear with me on this one..........CORRECTOL+LINGuist+WEENIE= CORRECTOLINGWEENIE...CORRECT:to make or set right,to amend,to alter or adjust so as to bring to some standard,to point out usually for amendment the errors or faults,to punish (as a child) with a view to reforming or improving; Middle English, from Latin correctus, past participle of corrigere, from com- + regere to lead straight...ALL:the whole amount, quantity or extent of,as much as possible; Middle English all, al, from Old English eall; akin to Old High German all...CORRECTOL: The Woman's Gentle Laxative." Its slogan: "For Gentle, Dependable overnight relief”...LINGUIST:a person who believes they are accomplished in languages;Latin lingua language, tongue...LINGUINE: a hot Italian dish, tasty and hard to resist;Italian, plural of linguina, diminutive of lingua tongue, from Latin...WEENIE:alteration of wienie, Informal. A wiener; Slang. A person who is regarded as being dorklike yet not subject to ordinary social inhibitions (tweaked).

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COMMENTS:

http://drminz.com/v4/random4.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 01:41:00

SAY IT! Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 08:03:00

Your etymology is logical, Mr. Spock! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:50:00

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Created by: badsnudge

Pronunciation: lin-truss-tee

Sentence: When I told her it was 'an' elephant and not 'uh' elephant, she told me that I was a nal. "Certainly not. I am merely a humble lynnetrustee." I replied.

Etymology: Lynne Truss (author of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves) + trustee

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gram-puh-lees

Sentence: Mindy is sorry she ever introduced her Grampa to FaceBook. Worse yet is that she friended him. He has become the grammpolice, correcting her every misspelling, every errant comma or apostrophe. Her friends are leaving fewer and fewer comments because he has started "helping" them too.

Etymology: Grammar (the study of the way the sentences of a language are constructed) + Grampa (grandfather) + Police (an organized civil force for maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: throb jek tiv

Sentence: She tried to be objective, but her criticism was throbjective. It made him sad but not sobjective to finish this jobective. He smacked her in the gobjective because she was a grammar snobjective. His main robjective complete, he rejoined his mobjective, before he had to face the copjectives!

Etymology: Throb (an instance of rapid strong pulsation (of the heart) & Objective (serving as or indicating the object of a verb or of certain prepositions and used for certain other purposes)

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COMMENTS:

Seven great creates. Not easy to do that to include one base word in the etymology of them all. Very inventive! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 09:55:00

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: gram/i/nay/tricks

Sentence: "Oh, Gerund, my love" said the gramminatrix, "you have been so very naughty! You have split infinitives as if they were made of bamboo. You have dangled your participles for all the world to see. You have modified some of my articles without permission. You are forever asking questions: which one? what kind? how many? Gerund, I am the one who asks questions. When I ask you "Why?" do not change my "Why?" to "I" and try to add your friend Ed to my plans! I am adverbse to a third person's point of view. It is obvious your grammar needs discipline and now it is time to teach you that lesson!"

Etymology: grammar + dominatrix

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COMMENTS:

Can't wait for your sentence on this one. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:23:00

Maybe she's busy beating improper pronouns outta someone. Great word tho! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-26: 12:25:00

Dang kids keep interfering with my Verbotomy time!!! Stupid spring break! heh. - Jamagra, 2008-03-26: 12:30:00

Well worth the wait. Gerund is such a bad boy. - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:52:00

Gerund may need a tongue lashing at the "House of the Subjunctive" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:31:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: speek - ur - tweek - ur

Sentence: Margerie could not listen to anyone without "tweaking" their statements so that the speaker's grammar and voice inflection were correct in the context of the sentence. Her family and friends became loath to even talk to her for fear of being corrected. Other than being a speakertweaker, Margerie's biggest compulsion was playing Verbotomy every day and checking her scores every hour.

Etymology: Speaker (someone who expresses in language; someone who talks) + tweaker (a person who tweaks something) tweak (fine-tune: adjust finely)

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COMMENTS:

nice one! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-16: 11:41:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin tax

Sentence: Joel knew that contant correction of his dreadful grammar by the lovely Davina was the sintax he had to pay for her affections.

Etymology: Sin (commit a sin; violate a law of God or a moral law) & Tax (set or determine the amount of (a payment such as a fine);use to the limit) & Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: pedd ant

Sentence: Hilary , a complete pedaunt, had driven all of her nephews to totally reject education with her "little chats"

Etymology: pedant, aunt

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COMMENTS:

pedant - how nicely arcane... :) - otherguy, 2009-01-16: 04:50:00

Exceptional. Perfectly fits the definition. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 09:34:00

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