Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: snub skrybe

Sentence: "It's no wonder people shoplift", Betty thought as she waited yet again at Customer Service to make a payment on her layaway. The cashier was going to snubscribe her again because he was too busy yakking on his cellphone on a social call. Fed up, she went to the Store Manager and told him loudly that the hardest part about shopping there was the fact that you had to wait endlessly for them to take your money. The Store Manager would have responded to her sooner, but he was too busy texting someone...

Etymology: Snub (refuse to acknowledge;ignore) & Subscribe (receive or obtain by regular payment;pay (an amount of money) as a contribution to a charity or service, especially at regular intervals)

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: kr - ass - is - tant

Sentence: Dominick was waited on by a crassistant in the local Starbucks.... She grudgingly took his order because he interrupted her "texting" marathon.

Etymology: crass (lacking in discrimination and sensibility), assistant

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COMMENTS:

good one - Mustang, 2009-06-26: 02:17:00

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Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: saylz jurk

Sentence: All too often the end of our long wait in line is met by a salesjerk; a cocky, nitwit who can exert authority only through annoying customers.

Etymology: sales + JERK, similar to salesclerk

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: cheklout

Sentence: Harry is an only child. He grew up thinking that he is the center of the universe. That’s just the way he treats his job as a checklout clerk. If a customer is so rude as to expect service he is quick to correct them. He’s been known to freeze a customer mid-sentence with just a look.

Etymology: checkout (a point at which goods are paid for in a supermarket or other store) + lout (an uncouth or aggressive man or boy)

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: cashier-basher

Sentence: Despite the number of cashearbashers working at CashCow, they seemed to make inordinate amounts of money. Yet, every week on the current affairs show, there were complainants describing their pitiful stories of how they had been ignored by sales staff too busy chatting to offer real service and how they had resorted to violence to get some attention.

Etymology: cashier + earbasher (someone who talks a lot) + basher (customer who eventually gives the chatty cashier a black eye)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: närsəssərvis

Sentence: Meme just knew that some day soon she would be discovered by a Hollywood Producer or modeling agent. The only reason she was working at the Mall was because her mom just didn't understand how much money she needed for her wardrobe and makeup and, of course, for the exposure. As she provided narcisservice to her customers, and practiced her texting skills, she wondered why it was taking so long to become famous.

Etymology: narcissist (extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration) + service (the action of helping or doing work for someone)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash neer

Sentence: Joel is a customer service nightmare. He thinks customers are just there to annoy him and interrupt his more interesting pursuits. Joel is a cashneer. He neither knows nor cares why they are paying him. See Joel fail another secret shopper audit. Sorry, Joel, but you should have realized that the poor customer you detest gives your boss the money to pay you. Being paid is something you no longer have to worry about!

Etymology: cashier(a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) & Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls; a contemptuous or scornful remark;smile contemptuously)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: at ten duns

Sentence: Jason was typical of the attendunts a retail store can afford, someone who spent his whole shift texting and phoning friends. Jason made people sorry they stopped by. When the CEO came on a Royal Visit, the whole entourage got busy and decorated the store. Except Jason, who told his immediate supervisor (who was 17) that he had to catch up on his filing. I smell an audit coming. Jason is now filing again...his unemployment papers.

Etymology: Attendant (cashier or clerk) & Dunts (To strike; give a blow to; knock) &dunce (stupid person)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: assss hoe llll say lur

Sentence: If she had her way this asswholesaler would need to be re-tailed

Etymology: wholesaler asshole

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COMMENTS:

good one! - Nosila, 2010-07-16: 01:03:00

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: mal-conn-ten-dant

Sentence: I am in a hurry but the staff in this shop are all such malcontendants there is no one who will serve me.

Etymology: Combination of malcontent and attendant. First used by Mark Twain to describe a particularly slovenly, family-run restaurant he visited in Mississippi. The restaurant gained notoriety and indeed some short lived success until it was forcibly closed by the owners who had a sense of humour failure when even physical abuse of the clientele wasn't enough to deter the hordes of malcontent-watchers.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:40:00

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