Verboticisms

Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: saylz jurk

Sentence: All too often the end of our long wait in line is met by a salesjerk; a cocky, nitwit who can exert authority only through annoying customers.

Etymology: sales + JERK, similar to salesclerk

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: cus/tum/ur/swurv/iss

Sentence: Customerswervice was so bad that I couldn't even make eye contact with the cashier let alone pay for my purchases.

Etymology: customer service + swerve

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COMMENTS:

They also swerve who only fail to wait on us. Good one. - Mustang, 2008-05-13: 20:24:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash sneer

Sentence: When George stated on his application as a cashier at WalMart that he loved dealing with the public, he actually meant until he had to help them. He viewed all his transactions as interruptions and he was known by his bosses as a cashsneer. He further added to the popular notion that the hardest part about shopping there was trying to give them your money!

Etymology: Cashier (a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) )& Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls;smile contemptuously)

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COMMENTS:

funny! - splendiction, 2009-06-25: 22:32:00

I think I ran into George at the local toot and moo. Good one! - Mustang, 2009-06-26: 00:30:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: at ten duns

Sentence: Jason was typical of the attendunts a retail store can afford, someone who spent his whole shift texting and phoning friends. Jason made people sorry they stopped by. When the CEO came on a Royal Visit, the whole entourage got busy and decorated the store. Except Jason, who told his immediate supervisor (who was 17) that he had to catch up on his filing. I smell an audit coming. Jason is now filing again...his unemployment papers.

Etymology: Attendant (cashier or clerk) & Dunts (To strike; give a blow to; knock) &dunce (stupid person)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fai - ls - purs - son

Sentence: Oscar went to the check-out counter at Sears and encountered yet another failesperson who ignored him and busied herself talking on the phone....

Etymology: fails, salesperson

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COMMENTS:

Oscar forgets who really pays his wages...Sears is just the distributor... - Nosila, 2009-06-25: 11:21:00

Good word! - splendiction, 2009-06-25: 22:31:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nahr-suh-sis-tuhnt

Sentence: Jane stopped to pick up a snack at the convenience store and found that the term was an oxymoron. The narcissistant was also some kind of moron. His mother must have told him he was the sun and that all the planets revolved around him. His attitude was like, "wait your turn Uranus".

Etymology: narcissist (a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish)+ assistant (a person who assists or gives aid and support; helper)

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /pey-trun-EY-jent/

Sentence: Denise was a regular customer at Le Chic Boutique, but the new patronagent at the counter treated her as if she were some person off the street, and pointedly ignored her for several minutes while chitchatting with his coworker before snatching her credit card, and then slamming a pen and receipt down in front of her. She was infuriated at his rude behavior... yet strangely turned on, too.

Etymology: Patronage - a condescending manner or attitude in dealing with people; patronizing (from Old French, patroniser "power to give favors") + Agent - a representative of a business or firm (from Latin, agentum "one who acts or conducts action")

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: dĭ-sō'shē-ĭt

Sentence: After she made her way back to the electronics department, having to make her way past one dissociate after another who, apparently oblivious to her existence or that of any other customer, had no apparent function beyond taking up aisle space, the blue-smocked critters became scarce. When she finally found one and asked where she could find an adapter to use her ipod with her home stereo, the dull-eyed response was, "that's not my aisle, but if we have 'em they would definitely be in this half of the store."

Etymology: dissociate (-āt'), from the psychological defense mechanism dissociation, whereby an individual compartmentalizes certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories; term coined by The French psychiatrist Pierre Janet, later expanded on in Jung's theories; associate (-ĭt), term used by a certain (world's largest)retailer as a euphamism for what passes as a sales staff.

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COMMENTS:

Like it! - pieceof314, 2008-05-13: 13:29:00

thanks, 314. first time I've tried to give a verbotomy to an existing word. - stache, 2008-05-13: 17:02:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash neer

Sentence: Joel is a customer service nightmare. He thinks customers are just there to annoy him and interrupt his more interesting pursuits. Joel is a cashneer. He neither knows nor cares why they are paying him. See Joel fail another secret shopper audit. Sorry, Joel, but you should have realized that the poor customer you detest gives your boss the money to pay you. Being paid is something you no longer have to worry about!

Etymology: cashier(a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) & Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls; a contemptuous or scornful remark;smile contemptuously)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un siv ill ser vant

Sentence: Megan was definitely a most uncivilservant. She never allowed anything as insignificant as a customer to interrupt her busy day. She was in a deep phone conversation (the fourth today) with her best friend, Vanessa, who was on duty working in another store, two blocks away. Their brainy exchanges usually went "Well, he says,I don't know,like, what are you doing?" "And I go,like, I dunno" "And he says 'Whatever'". "Can you imagine? Like, as if." Megan carried on in this vein for like five or ten minutes, when a customer arrived at her till. The customer was getting impatient. Megan glowered at him and turned her back to continue her very important phone call. When the man started saying, "Excuse me", Megan reluctantly turned around and chewing gum loudly, with her phone jammed into her ear, gave him an impatient "What do you want?" gesture with hands and face. Too late she twigged he wore a balaclava and held a gun in one hand (pointed at her head)and a bag to collect the money he was going to rob from her till, in the other hand. "Oh-Ma-God", she thought, "My cell phone is dying..."

Etymology: uncivil(rude, impolite,lacking good manners) & servant (one who serves or provides a service) & civil servant for rhyming (a public official, member of the civil service)

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