Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: LittleMissSmile

Pronunciation: Frick

Sentence: What the FRICK!?!

Etymology:

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Created by: Bookworm699

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Fat old beach," she fakeswore under her breath.

Etymology:

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: pro-f-eye-nn

Sentence: I'm sorry officer but you must have misheard me. If we do go to court I think you will find that 'crucking funt' is a profinity and not a profanity.

Etymology: Turning the profane into the profine was an art form perfected by the French aristocracy in the early years of the republic. They were also helped by atrocious aural hygiene standards during this period of history.

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the guy on Capitol Steps who tells the stories with initial letters transposed. One concluded thast Haris Pilton simply needed a little soap in her hole; then there was the spale of Elliot Titzler.... - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:02:00

...er, Titzer. You know, the guy wh went to all the hicey prookers? nd I mean hicey. We're not talking bwenty tucks. No, not birty thucks. No, not even borty...never mind. - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:05:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: sŭb'tər-fēm'

Sentence: "GOT DANDRUFF, SOMEOFITITCHES!" Grandpa shouted his well-known subterpheme, as he bonked his thumb with the ball-peen hammer for the third time.

Etymology: 'sub,' short for underwater marine vessel, also used to describe an oversized sandwich served on long bread; 'terph,' alt. of turf, locale where one finds one's homies; 'eme,' collapsed form of e-me, avatar used as an on-line representation of oneself.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: hek-spli-tiv

Sentence: As the pastor of his church John can't use profane language. As a human that is subject to anger or pain, he has found his own set of heckspletives to get him through these times. Where someone else might say "Shut the F___ up", John will say "Hush the frog up". Where someone else might tell someone to "Go to Hell", John smiles tells them to "have a nice time at the BBQ". Even though he gets blank stares sometimes, he feels better that he knows what he meant.

Etymology: heck (used as a mild expression of annoyance, rejection, disgust, etc.) + expletive (an interjectory word or expression, frequently profane; an exclamatory oath)

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: (like 'placebo') /pluh-SEE-bohth/

Sentence: Sandra, a mother of three children and a former radio DJ, had trained herself never to swear, but she would often use placeboaths in place of profanity. So, when she yelled at Bobby, "Cheese and Crackers!! Get your gosh darn feet off the coffee table and stop acting like a fudging sugarhead!" nobody thought it was unusual. After all, Bobby really had been acting like a sugarhead.

Etymology: Placebo - a medication prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect (Latin, placebo "I shall please") + Oath - any profane expression; curse; swearword (from Middle English, ooth "swear" [to a god or diety])

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COMMENTS:

an elegant creation, I must say - stache, 2008-05-08: 08:22:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:21:00

Terrific! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:37:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: code/vurs

Sentence: Around the office, us lackies have to codeverse so we don't offend the boss, or her prim and proper manager with our foul language. When angry at a co-worker, we often shout at them "Go f'coffee!", or "Eat hit, you bit head!", but so far our codeversations haven't raised the ire of the language police.

Etymology: code + converse (To engage in spoken exchange)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: proxy/fan/i/tee

Sentence: Sally was determined not to use unsuitable language at her new job and instead invented many proxfanitys to suit the occasion.

Etymology: proxy (substitute or surrogate) + profanity

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - Mustang, 2009-06-23: 00:44:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: marss/code

Sentence: Marsecode, derived from marseholecode is used by people who feel more comfortable using only morsels of bad language.

Etymology: Morse code + arse

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COMMENTS:

you brits kill me. - stache, 2008-05-08: 08:20:00

I like it. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:36:00

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