Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: were couch

Sentence: The annual january workouch proved as painful as always, the treadmill became a headmill, the bench press got a stranglehold which didn't release it's grip until he had peed on the pilates ball. The visit was followed by the annual visit to the chiropracter.

Etymology: workout, ouch

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COMMENTS:

Ouch indeed! - TJayzz, 2008-05-06: 20:56:00

Good one...do you think chiropractors own shares in gyms? mmmm - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:06:00

Excellent word! Simple yet versatile. - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 21:57:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fit-ness-shlok

Sentence: Melvin once again found that he is a fitnesschlock, in such lousy physical condition that even moderate exercise caused not only excruciating pain, but left him lying on the couch for days recuperating.

Etymology: Blend of 'fitness' (physical condition) and 'schlock' (of low quality or value)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [pind] or [pwind]

Sentence: Determined to defeat his winter love handles, Mark finally returned to the gym only to be pwgymned by the chest press machine for five minutes, like a gnat under a toothpick, while he waited for a trainer to rescue him.

Etymology: A combination of 'gym', a building or room designed and equipped for indoor exercise, and 'pwned', a corruption of the word 'owned' denoting domination by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force. The combination sounds like 'pinned', meaning to hold something fast in a spot or position.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ek/ses/ser/size

Sentence: In spring to rid of the winter lard, people tend to excessercise themselves into sore muscles, joints and injuries.

Etymology: excess + exercise

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COMMENTS:

Great word! Perfect fit(ness) - pieceof314, 2008-05-06: 09:31:00

Very good. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:41:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: work owch

Sentence: Bradley's quest to get trim again turned into a workouch. He dropped a weight on his toe, pulled a groin muscle doing lunges and banged his head on the bench press, after he accidentally lost his grip. His workouch will take him to the workcouch for a week of tv to recover.

Etymology: Workout (exercise regime;the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit) & Ouch (interjection used to express sudden pain)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: natch hurt o path ee

Sentence: Arnold's naturopathy exercises turned into nathurtopathy exercises when he strained himself on his dumbells...apparently they were aptly named.

Etymology: Naturopathy (a method of treating disease using food and exercise and heat to assist the natural healing process) & Hurt (sore, in pain)

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /jim-PARE-ment/

Sentence: Nathan was determined to be able to squeeze himself into his old Speedo bathing suit by summer, and he returned to the gym after a five year hiatus. But, as out-of-shape as he was, he gave himself a gympairment within five minutes of beginning his workout. He was gymbarrassed and felt like a gymposter in front of all the bodybuilders who had to help carry him out to his car. He was a total gymbecile for thinking he could still bench press his body weight like he used to.

Etymology: Gym - athletic facility equipped for sports or physical training (short for gymnasium; from Greek, gymnásion "gymnastic school") + Impairment - damage that results in a reduction of strength or quality (from Middle English, empeiren "to make worse")

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COMMENTS:

gympressive...most gympressive...but you are not a gymjedi yet - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-06: 12:24:00

It's gympossible not to love it! There are so many great words today, too bad we can only pick 2! Makes one feel gympotent! - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:02:00

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jim-nor-zee-um

Sentence: 'Thats it, I've had enough of this fitness lark' said Tom, as he hobbled over to the nearest bench to rest his swollen ankle. 'From now on Im calling this place the gymnausium, cos it makes me sick!!'

Etymology: Gymnasium(A place to get fit and play sport.) + Nausea(To feel sick) =Gymnausim

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