Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: närsəssərvis

Sentence: Meme just knew that some day soon she would be discovered by a Hollywood Producer or modeling agent. The only reason she was working at the Mall was because her mom just didn't understand how much money she needed for her wardrobe and makeup and, of course, for the exposure. As she provided narcisservice to her customers, and practiced her texting skills, she wondered why it was taking so long to become famous.

Etymology: narcissist (extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration) + service (the action of helping or doing work for someone)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: snub skrybe

Sentence: "It's no wonder people shoplift", Betty thought as she waited yet again at Customer Service to make a payment on her layaway. The cashier was going to snubscribe her again because he was too busy yakking on his cellphone on a social call. Fed up, she went to the Store Manager and told him loudly that the hardest part about shopping there was the fact that you had to wait endlessly for them to take your money. The Store Manager would have responded to her sooner, but he was too busy texting someone...

Etymology: Snub (refuse to acknowledge;ignore) & Subscribe (receive or obtain by regular payment;pay (an amount of money) as a contribution to a charity or service, especially at regular intervals)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Vecks-kewz-amee

Sentence: Im really fed up with those vexqueuesamees, every time I go into that shop I have to wait ages in the queue whilst those girls chat away. Im sure I must know their business more than they do by now!

Etymology: Vex (perturbed,put out) Queues(a long line of customers waiting to be served) =Vexqueuesamee(excuse me)

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:41:00

Vexcellent vord! - Nosila, 2008-05-13: 23:21:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash neer

Sentence: Joel is a customer service nightmare. He thinks customers are just there to annoy him and interrupt his more interesting pursuits. Joel is a cashneer. He neither knows nor cares why they are paying him. See Joel fail another secret shopper audit. Sorry, Joel, but you should have realized that the poor customer you detest gives your boss the money to pay you. Being paid is something you no longer have to worry about!

Etymology: cashier(a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) & Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls; a contemptuous or scornful remark;smile contemptuously)

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Created by: tim1998samson

Pronunciation: diminion marsion

Sentence: I had another one of those diminionmartion cash me out today I mean diminion's my favourite store but when a diminionmartion checks me out it's the worst.

Etymology: A mix of diminion and martion.

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COMMENTS:

For those of you who don't know diminion was a grocery store that was recently was taken over by Metro - tim1998samson, 2009-06-29: 08:14:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: cla/sheer

Sentence: Most customer dissatisfaction is caused by confrontational clashiers who hate their jobs and looking for a fight.

Etymology: clash + cashier

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COMMENTS:

which begs the Clash question "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 13:10:00

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Created by: Kallystie

Pronunciation: a-ssh-ier

Sentence: The clerk was talking on the phone and completely ignoring me. I waited there, while my, once frosty cold, can of soda started getting warm. Finally, I stated... "Asshier! Can I get some service before my soda starts boiling in this heat?"

Etymology: Asshier is a combination of the words ass and cashier.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: cheklout

Sentence: Harry is an only child. He grew up thinking that he is the center of the universe. That’s just the way he treats his job as a checklout clerk. If a customer is so rude as to expect service he is quick to correct them. He’s been known to freeze a customer mid-sentence with just a look.

Etymology: checkout (a point at which goods are paid for in a supermarket or other store) + lout (an uncouth or aggressive man or boy)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un siv ill ser vant

Sentence: Megan was definitely a most uncivilservant. She never allowed anything as insignificant as a customer to interrupt her busy day. She was in a deep phone conversation (the fourth today) with her best friend, Vanessa, who was on duty working in another store, two blocks away. Their brainy exchanges usually went "Well, he says,I don't know,like, what are you doing?" "And I go,like, I dunno" "And he says 'Whatever'". "Can you imagine? Like, as if." Megan carried on in this vein for like five or ten minutes, when a customer arrived at her till. The customer was getting impatient. Megan glowered at him and turned her back to continue her very important phone call. When the man started saying, "Excuse me", Megan reluctantly turned around and chewing gum loudly, with her phone jammed into her ear, gave him an impatient "What do you want?" gesture with hands and face. Too late she twigged he wore a balaclava and held a gun in one hand (pointed at her head)and a bag to collect the money he was going to rob from her till, in the other hand. "Oh-Ma-God", she thought, "My cell phone is dying..."

Etymology: uncivil(rude, impolite,lacking good manners) & servant (one who serves or provides a service) & civil servant for rhyming (a public official, member of the civil service)

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: mal-conn-ten-dant

Sentence: I am in a hurry but the staff in this shop are all such malcontendants there is no one who will serve me.

Etymology: Combination of malcontent and attendant. First used by Mark Twain to describe a particularly slovenly, family-run restaurant he visited in Mississippi. The restaurant gained notoriety and indeed some short lived success until it was forcibly closed by the owners who had a sense of humour failure when even physical abuse of the clientele wasn't enough to deter the hordes of malcontent-watchers.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:40:00

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