Verboticisms

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /mith-kon-dukt/

Sentence: Donna stared wistfully at her friends splashing in the pool, and glanced up at the clock again — it'd been only 53 minutes since she'd eaten that banana — seven more minutes before she could go back in the pool. Her mother had warned her many times that going into the water less than an hour after eating would inevitably cause cramps, which were somehow always fatal. 'Would she die from drowning or from the cramps themselves?' she wondered. What if she just dangled her legs in the water? No, it was just too risky. She couldn't overcome the mythconduct her mother had instilled into her. Six minutes and forty five seconds to go...

Etymology: Myth - any invented story, idea, or concept (from Greek, mythos "speech, story") + Conduct - personal behavior; way of acting (from Latin, conductus "to lead or bring together")

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COMMENTS:

I always doubted this prohibition. I even sent it in to "Mythbusters"....to no avail. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:00:00

Well, Mythbusters did prove that you shouldn't spin around in a makeshift wirlpool too soon after eating pizza. Funny episode. But I'm convinced that the 1-hour 'no swimming' rule is nonsense. But I knew kids whose mothers wouldn't even let them stand in the wading pool because of that rule. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:12:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-08-29: 13:43:00

Welcome back, Tigger, we mythed you! - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:09:00

This one is my favorite, well done! - Rehlit, 2008-09-01: 00:50:00

Good word there Tigger, it has a nice ring to it! I like the way you think :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:07:00

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Created by: PeeJaY

Pronunciation: PAIR-REN-FIK-SHON

Sentence: Alice was adept at providing all sorts of parenfiction to stop here eleven sons from fighting with each other.

Etymology: A conjoining of Parent and Fiction describing the untruths manufactured by desperate parents.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: emboŏlshitishmənt

Sentence: Billy grew in a world of embullshitishment. His parents would tell him **Step on a crack and you*ll break your mother*s back**. **Eat your vegetables or the dog will eat your foot**. The world can only wait to see how he will encourage his own children.

Etymology: embellishment (a decorative detail or feature added to something to make it more attractive) + bullshit (stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense)

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COMMENTS:

tee-hee! - mrskellyscl, 2010-01-20: 06:26:00

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈmæləpro(ʊ)ˌskɹɪpʃən/

Sentence: Most new parents promise themselves that they'll always be open and honest with their children, but each time they are asked "Why not?", the probability of the birth of a new malaproscription increases.

Etymology: from malapropism + proscription

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: nit - 'pek

Sentence: Henny Penny was always nitpecking her child repeatedly to the point of his premature hair loss!

Etymology: from nitpick (pedantic,scrupulous( but more annoying when pecked with a sharp beak or tongue)

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COMMENTS:

Pullet-ically correct word! - Nosila, 2012-10-31: 01:56:00

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: im/par/a/bul

Sentence: A typical imparable would be the story of the bogeyman

Etymology: impair (damage) + parable (short story used to teach a lesson)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: muhth/er/fuhngk/er

Sentence: His mom was a motherfunker. Being a motherfunker is a fast, easy way to get the behaviour expected. Unfortunately, when children are brought up with a motherfunker, when they are older, they do not trust anything their mom tells them.

Etymology: MOTHERFUNKER - from MOTHER + FUNK ( to frighten; state of great fright, or terror)

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COMMENTS:

And I'll bet she was a "bad motherfunker," "Shutcho mouth!" :) - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:27:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bee-HAY-vee-uhr-ELSE-ohyd

Sentence: " I can tell if you're lying - just by feeling your nose." I told little Tommy. With a scream of terror he covered his face like a three foot tall Bela Lugosi and ran home crying. My use of a common BEHAVIORELSEOID works every time, flushing out little untruths wherever they might be lurking. The incident was witnessed by little Laura, who later explained that "There are more blood vessels in the nose." Although there may be some guilt associated with the use of BEHAVIORELSEOIDS in modern childrearing, experts have justified it's use as a potent counterbalance to "freezer experiments", "suspiciously quiet bedrooms" and hilariously blantant lies. By the way, why are there eleven eggs in the fridge and one in the hedges? Someone was trying to HATCH one, weren't they? Come on, let me feel your nose.....

Etymology: BEHAVIor+OR ELSE+ -OID= BEHAVIORELSEOID BEHAVIOR:the manner of conducting oneself ,anything that an organism or urchin does involving action and response to stimulation or uncertainty -alteration of Middle English behavour, from behaven.....OR ELSE: idiom meaning "Regardless of any extenuating circumstances- and I MEAN IT!".....-OID:suffix - something resembling an object or having a (specified) quality of fear inducing behavior modification.

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COMMENTS:

Q: What do Fred Sanford, Augie Doggie, Chuck Connors and Fred MacMurray have in common?.........................A: http://www.tvdads.com/tvdads.shtml - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 07:52:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: lor/war/ning

Sentence: Lorewarning is the practice of raising children by indoctrinating them with urban legends

Etymology: lore (myths) + forewarning

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COMMENTS:

Or suburban legends. Excellent! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-28: 07:50:00

I fought the lore and the lore won! splendid word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-30: 18:16:00

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Created by: vixphilia

Pronunciation: hum-MUM-bug

Sentence: Mum was feding me her usual humumbug: "If you keep making ugly faces,it will freeze like that!"

Etymology: Humbug: pretentious or silly talk Mum: Mother

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