Verboticisms

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: i-dē-ˈä-tik-kən-ˈsēl-lər

Sentence: Barbie was curling her eyelashes when she answered a phone call... then,propped the phone on her shoulder and against her ear...she had her eyelash curler in one hand, squeezing it tightly to curl her lashes...Barbie bent over to pick up her mirror on the table with her free hand and the phone fell off her shoulder! She tried to catch the phone as it fell and she accidently jerked ALL of her eyelashes completely out of her eye! Ed says," Barbie your eye is bleeding!" To which Barbie replies,"Oh Ed it's fine I have no lashes...I'll just use my "idioticconsealer", it works on all of my blunders and I'll apply a little extra liner after my eye stops bleeding. Ed,is just stares in horror at Barbie and just wishes she had a brain and wasn't such an "idioticconsealer!" so often and won't ever admit her mistakes!

Etymology: Idiotic:showing complete lack of thought or common sense:foolish. Concealer:(Double meaning & play on the two meanings) 1 : one that conceals 2 : a cosmetic used to conceal blemishes or discoloration especially around or under the eyes...(Wink,Wink) ;)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lak sid dent

Sentence: The upper management at the Quick Letter Company, who made big signs, brought in a new edgy Health and Safety Program designed to reduce the injury rate at their manufacturing facility. They offered rewards like cash, merchandise and paid days off as incentives to those employees who had few or no missed days due to workplace injuries. The theory was great, the company would get compensation rebates for no lost times and raise safety awareness. The lost time days vanished and it appeared that they had broken all previous safety records on the job. It soon became evident, however, that people failed to report the work injuries in the hope of winning fabulous prizes. People smuggled in their own first aid kits and treated themselves secretly as each mishap occurred, and failed to report them. The management should have been more suspicious of employees with staples stuck in their fingers, nails protruding from feet and all manner of bruises and bumps not visible earlier in the day. The common response to "What happened to you?" was "It happened at home." Since they could prove no corruption of their program, it continued, with all it's suspicious events. Everything was fine until one day, when someone drove a forklift too quickly into a company sign and one of the metal letters in the words "Quick Letter Company" fell from a high height on a manager's head, embedded itself in his cranium and reduced him to a blinded, blethering fool. Yes, having a lackcident is fun until someone loses an "i"!

Etymology: Lack (not have, be without) & Accident (a mishap; especially one causing injury or death)

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COMMENTS:

I luved the sleye, witty, w-I's-e ending! Your lacksIdental story and verbotomy caught my aye! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-14: 11:35:00

What a great mind's "I" you have Nosila! :) I enjoyed your story! - abrakadeborah, 2009-04-17: 03:32:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: oŏpsēdəmē

Sentence: Most mothers are happy when their newborn has the requisite number of fingers and toes. Wendel's mother feels the need to take periodic inventory. Wendel is a klutz who has been teased to the point he hides his injuries to avoid ridicule. In doing this he has become an oopsadummy. She has only had to take to the ER once so far when he almost severed his arm with a blade server.

Etymology: oopsy-daisy (used to express encouragement to a child who has fallen) + dummy (a stupid person)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-NYL

Sentence: Sheena was da queena duhnial. She was clumsy, disorganized and more than a little uncoordinated and frequently injured herself or damage some item she was working with but would instantly duhny any serious damage had occurred.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' and 'denial'

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COMMENTS:

A word of great duhplicity! Exduhllent! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-14: 11:46:00

Duhlightful, Mustang! - Nosila, 2009-04-14: 20:23:00

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Created by: ayyacoco

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ded-nahy-uh

Sentence: Denise has always been known as a contrarian. Whatever the subject, she will be on the opposite side of any argument than the majority. Last week she was involved in a car accident. She was declared DOA when she arrived at the hospital. In a serious case of deadnial, she sat up and demanded to be seen by a doctor. As long as refuses to believe in her demise she will probably stay around to contradict the status quo.

Etymology: dead (no longer living) + denial (disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dis em vow el ment

Sentence: When Ted found Wendy with her eye hanging out after an eye makeup accident, he was concerned. Her denial became a disemvowelment of the seriousness of her conditon. He reckoned they should call it misscara.

Etymology: Disavow (refuse to acknowledge; disclaim knowledge of; responsibility for, or association with) & Disembowelment (the act of removing the bowels or viscera; the act of cutting so as to cause the viscera to protrude)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: wun + ahyd + dee + niur

Sentence: Rosemary was clumsy and ashamed to admit that she walked into walls, tripped over air and ripped her skin off when she shaved. But the day she took out her eye tweezing her eyebrows made her a oneyedeneyer..... Despite the fact that she was missing an eye, she could not bring herself to admit that she had done it herself and went into oneyedenial....

Etymology: one + eyed + deny + denier (spelled to match the missing eye)...

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COMMENTS:

We are keeping an eye on you...just the one! - Nosila, 2009-04-14: 20:20:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dis-mem-ber-meant

Sentence: Rosie would always pretend that her obviously self inflicted bruises and scrapes were no big deal. When she walked into a wall she tried to pass off the black and blue mark as makeup for her performance. When she had a burn mark from making a roast she said that she wanted to get a tatoo and thought she'd see what it looked like first. But the day she came in with two fingers missing after playing with the dog there was no way she could pass it off as dismembermeant.

Etymology: dismember(ment): to lose a limb, sever, amputate + meant: intended, purposeful

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dis a vowch

Sentence: Women torture themselves in the name of beauty. Wearing very high heels all day long and denying that your feet hurt. Getting hair extensions glued and twisted onto your scalp to pretend you have thick hair. Fake nails drilled onto your nailbed. When the pain becomes unbearable, we disavouch ourselves and bravely smile and continue looking glamourous. Afterall, being beautiful is to die for...

Etymology: Disavow (deny;refuse to acknowledge; disclaim knowledge of; responsibility for, or association with) & Ouch (expressing a feeling of sudden pain)

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