Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ohn komm ish yun err

Sentence: he was so obviously an oncommissioner, his nose would start to twitch even before the customer had opened the door.

Etymology: co commission, commissioner

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: merch - hunt - izer

Sentence: Stanley was a Sears merchuntiser. Once he saw a potential customer, he tailed them throughout the store waving his arms and talking about the benefits and low cost of every item the customer walked past. Sometimes people bought things just to get rid of him.

Etymology: merchandiser, hunter

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: SALES-grey-ter

Sentence: I was all excited to look at the latest styles they got in last week - but then their salesgrater started following me around and I had to get out of there.

Etymology: Sales (as in salesperson) + Grate (to annoy or rub the wrong way.. also a play on the standard 'sales-greeter' label for sales people charged with greeting every customer')

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Created by: BemaSelf

Pronunciation: Push-r-man

Sentence: I can't stand that store. The pusherman always makes me rush to buy something.

Etymology: Pusher, Man

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ann-tee-shawp-pest

Sentence: If Rudy saw any antishoppests around he would hide in the changeroom until the coast was clear.

Etymology: anti-shop-pest

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: floor/stalk/er

Sentence: Commissioned salespeople are licensed floorstalkers who creep me out of the store.

Etymology: floorwalker + stalker

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COMMENTS:

We have a winner! - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:57:00

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Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: cluh-JURK

Sentence: Alex dropped his job as soon as he discovered he was required to be a clejerk, squirting cologne at people.

Etymology: Someone who begins coming off like a clerk and ends up being more a jerk.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o ver selz us

Sentence: The guy was everywhere. We were grocery shopping, in the produce aisle, when this geeky associate thrusts a box of strawberries at us and says, "Try these, they're berry nice!" We demer, but he's back 2 minutes later with green onions, saying, "Repeat after me, I'm the Italian Scallion!" He then shows us a potato ("Don't his eyes have a peel?") and a husk of corn ("Meet the kernel, he's all ears.") Finally, "Orange you as glad as I yam that you decided to turnip in my department?" and finally, "It's bean great to "C" you, you're hard to beet!" "Do you wanna date?"... At that point, I snapped and said, "Lettuce see what your Store Manager has to say about your oversellsus behavior!" To which the Store Manager replied, "Don't worry about Romaine, cos he's just trying to get a head. When he's not taking a leek here, he goes to comedy school as a caper. He wants to earn a higher celery and get a plum job. I just can't squash his dreams!"

Etymology: Overzealous (marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea) & Over (too much) & Sells Us (persuade somebody to accept something; do business; offer for sale as for one's livelihood;deliver to an enemy by treachery)

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COMMENTS:

overclever! - mweinmann, 2009-12-01: 07:50:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2009-12-01: 09:48:00

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Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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