Verboticisms

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: fool-tide

Sentence: At 5:00 pm on October 31st the "fooltide carols" begin to work their voodoo on their unsuspecting targets. Accompanied by the glow and sparkle of lights and tinsel, and the lure of huge sales, the happy little tunes plant themselves in the brains of shoppers who wander trancelike through the aisles, knowing full well that they're destroying their credit rating, but unable to resist the hypnosis of the television commercials that even make buying a Lexus with a big red bow seem reasonable. At 12:00 noon on December 25 the music stops and everyone goes back to their lives as if nothing happened.

Etymology: wordplay on Yuletide -- fool: one who lacks good judgement; one acts unwisely on a given occasion + tide: time or season - most often used in combination such as yuletide or Christmastide

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: STOOP-ih-max-ih-faction

Sentence: Ebinezer flung back the musty curtains and threw open the frosty windows which looked down upon the busy village street below. Pure snow slightly muffled the sound of silver sleighbells and cash registers, but gladdened the heart of the old ex-skinflint deep within him. Barely pausing for his boots and top hat, Ebinezer could not wait to immerse himself in this STUPEMAXIFACTION which seemed to fill everyone with the profound joy of giving which had eluded him for so long. Now if only that 48 inch plasma HDTV was still in the shop window.....Ho Ho HO !

Etymology: STUPEfy+MAXImize+satisFACTION= STUPEMAXIFACTION.....STUPEFY:to make stupid, groggy, or insensible,the state of being stupefied by intoxicants or pervasive jolliness; Middle English stupifien, modification of Latin stupefacere, from stupēre to be astonished + facere to make, do .....MAXIMIZE:the greatest quantity or value attainable or spent, an upper limit allowed (as by a legal authority or one's credit rating); Latin, neuter of maximus biggest.....SATISFACTION:the payment through penance of the temporal punishment incurred by a sin or excessive credit abuse, fulfillment of a need or want,no matter how costly,the quality or state of being satisfied, no matter how briefly; Sixties English,Can't get no,Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin satisfaction-, satisfactio, from Latin, reparation, amends, from satisfacere to satisfy.Hey Hey Hey.

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COMMENTS:

Is it Christmas yet? http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:32:00

Trusting a crackhead to do all your shopping...Obnoxious alkies who talk without stopping...Drunken pole dancers with gold nipple rings...These are a few of my favorite things. (not really) - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:49:00

That was an original MetrohumanX musical contribution. All together now... - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 00:51:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gool/card/ing

Sentence: On Christmas Eve the malls are filled with people ghoulcarding, buying anything and everything in sight and willing to kill and eat flesh for it.

Etymology: GHOULCARDING from - GOLD CARD (a credit card with a high credit rating and with the privilege of being eaten alive by the interest rates) + GHOUL (an evil spirit, or demon in folklore believed to plunder malls and feed on Christmas shoppers)

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: gift - gilt - a - wish

Sentence: Nancy was overtaken with an extreme sense of giftguiltawish. This caused her to spend endless amounts of money and time buying everyone she had even talked to during the year with a gift during the holiday season.

Etymology: Gift (something given willingly, eg as a present)+ Guilt (Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy) + Wish (Something desired or longed for)

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Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: store-per

Sentence: A state of deep storpor had been induced among the shoppers. They were defeated. The cheery elves and the bawling infants, the fluorescent lights and grotesque displays, the relentless rasping tannoy urging them to 'buy before it's gone', had triumphed. The shoppers dully storpored out their pin codes, vainly attempting to salvage some vestige of self-purpose.

Etymology: store + torpor (a state of motor and mental inactivity with a partial suspension of sensibility)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: let us o

Sentence: Oh, the Crowds in the Mall are frightful,but the sales are so delightful. And since we have one week to go, letusowe, letusowe, letusowe. It doesn't show signs of stopping, And I've bought my cards for shopping, My limits are now way down low, letusowe, letusowe, letusowe! When we finally kiss goodnight, How I'll have hated going out in the store! When I get my bill I'll turn white, And hope that I don't lose the farm. The shoppers are slowly dying, And, for credit we're still applying, But as long as you love me so, letusowe, letusowe, letusowe!

Etymology: Play on "Let it Snow"...Christmas Song (apologies to Sammy Cahn & Jule Styne)...owe (to be in debt)

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Created by: dubld

Pronunciation: gilt

Sentence: Full of guilt, he purchased everything everyone wanted.

Etymology:

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Created by: gemmgemms

Pronunciation: spen-da-main-ee-um

Sentence: He was locked into a state of spendmanium as he entered the mall.

Etymology: spend + manium

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Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: kris-mākst-out

Sentence: I christmaxedout my Master Card and I am not done shopping. Now I'll have to use my Visa.

Etymology: Christmas: The annual festival of the Christian church commemorating the birth of Jesus. + Maxed: To reach one's limit. + Out: finished; ended.

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Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: auto - pawn - chus - pilot

Sentence: In a trance, combining panic and Xmas-zuberance, Ned wandered through the mall on autoponchuspilot, grabbing items from shelves with no regard for price, taste or the impact his decisions would have on others.

Etymology: autopilot + Ponchus Pilot

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COMMENTS:

How very gentile! Thumbs up!...or is that down? mmm - scrabbelicious, 2007-12-14: 09:29:00

FYI: Here's how the Bible spells it: "Pontius Pilate." - Maxine, 2007-12-14: 14:25:00

bless you, Maxine - bzav1, 2007-12-14: 14:48:00

lol, i had to laugh, good job, but pontius pilot doesn't really have anything to do with christ's birth, rather death...OH!!! Okay, I get it, yeah, death can surely come by spending too much on autopilot at xmas time. thumbs up buddy... - chaiandallthatjazz, 2007-12-16: 11:52:00

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